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 Post subject: just discovered i have BPD - eek
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:44 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:30 am
Posts: 26
hey guys...my name is Yara...and i am new to the world of BPD. well, not new, coz on reflection I have had it for at least 7 years; but i only just realized that i have it last week, with my new therapist. she went through all the diagnostic criteria with me and we both acknowledged that i fit each one pretty much spot on. so...that was my introduction to BPD.

to be honest, it's quite a relief. until last week i had always thought that there was just something really flawed or crazy about me and that it was all my fault, and i was the only one. but now i realize that it's an actual problem that can be defined and pinned down and dealt with. and that is such a weight off my shoulders. with this website and my therapist's help i can find ways to fend off my twisted thinking and hopefully *fingers crossed* start becoming a functioning 'normal' person; or as close to normal as i can get :D

anyway i just wanted to say hi and also to ask if you would be kind enough to share some of your stories/coping strategies with me? i would really appreciate it. it would be so helpful to learn how other people manage to deal with the black-and-white thinking and the obsessiveness in relationships and the crazy mood swings...coz i am really struggling at the moment, and have been struggling a LOT this past year in particular. i never know who i am from one day to the next, and i don't know how to control my emotions. i am sick of allowing one little bad thing to turn my day into weeping, storming gloom and doom. also i really want to learn how to restrain my BPD for the sake of my poor family and friends, who i torment and ostracize, and my poor boyfriend, who i have already pushed away once but who thankfully came back...

please help me learn how to tackle this disorder - and hopefully win.
thanks guys..
take care
nice to meet you all


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 Post subject: Re: just discovered i have BPD - eek
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 12:42 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:03 am
Posts: 88
Hi Yara and welcome!! You have come to the right place! We can help you learn how to manage these issues if you are willing to work on them! Why don't you check out the Tools (see left side of screen) to start? I am also reading the book Putting the Pieces Together right now (see top left corner of this screen) which is written by someone else who was where we are now and worked her way up to a healthier life. It will help you to see that you are certainly NOT alone!
As for my own experiences, well I am still sort of floundering between healthy and unhealthy but I will say that it helps to stop and think about others before reacting to your emotions... think about how what you want to say or do will affect someone else (i.e. your boyfriend).
I hope to see you posting here often!
Hugs, Chai


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 Post subject: Re: just discovered i have BPD - eek
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 1:45 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:56 am
Posts: 1465
I wanted to second the Welcome!

In addition to going over and using the Tools in the tool box at your left side of the screen, the home page has many great and useful strategies and personal stories that I believe will help. Also, you can always go back through and read old posts-- I did that quite a bit when I first found this site. Other than those things, the best way I know of to learn about other's struggles and how they manage is to just find the appropriate forum and begin discussing exactly what you are having trouble with and how you are trying to solve it now. Then, the responses you receive are usually others ways of dealing with a similar issue.

This place, the tools and the people here have helped me so much in my journey towards recovery. I really hope to get to know you and let you get to know me. Finding out you have BPD can be a little overwhelming (even if it is a load off) and recovery is not something done overnight-- but with time and practice healthy, happy living can definitely be achieved.

Good luck on your journey and welcome to BPDR! :biggrin

_________________
Temet Nosce-- The Oracle
"Pain is resistance to change."
--Ida Rolf

BRING IT ON!! -- personal mantra


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 Post subject: Re: just discovered i have BPD - eek
PostPosted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 3:05 pm 
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Joined: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:30 am
Posts: 26
thank you so much for your warm welcome, i really appreciate it :) i would love to get to know you better, and share more of my own struggles with you. i have already noted down some of the tools in my journal so i can have a look at it any time i feel overwhelmed by my emotions, hopefully it'll be a big help....

the biggest problem i have is with relationships. i am currently in the process of pushing away this kind sweet funny man who wants to marry me -- and i can't stop myself from hurting him. i tell myself i am justified coz he would be happier with someone 'normal' who finds love easy, but i know i am still making him cry and it sucks....

i feel so evil and flawed sometimes :( i know the BPD controls so much of my life and it's tough to confront something so big living inside your own skin. still, there is always hope....and i am so happy to meet you guys and be on this site. i have faith it'll help a great deal.


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