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 Post subject: Feeling angry at work
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:33 pm 
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Why do I feel so angry? I don't understand how she could've triggered this? Currently my social life is gone from my BPD, and it's starting to pick away at work.
Someone quit today, he was a good friend, and a mentor to me at work. With him quitting my work load increase. Some might think it's good, I think it's going to drive me nuts. He also trained others. Since he quit, another new guy decided to keep asking me questions. I hate that guy bugging me, and given him several hints I want to be left alone. He insluts me all the time whenever I help him, or answer his questions, he laughs at the most simple things, and it triggers my BPD, the anger within.
Another coworker, a she. I thought I was good friends with her, again due to my BPD I think it's starting to ruin things. She once screamed at me that I expect too much from her. We are simply friends, and we talk to each other a lot. I have never been attracted to her and always considered her a good friend. Whenever she needed help I was there, but when I needed it she wouldn't help me. Since I always spoke ot her about the same thing she started getting frustrated. She asked me to stop talking about certain topcis. We use to hang out a lot then she stop inviting me, and invited other coworkers. Today she triggered something in me and this anger.. It's filling me up right now. Ever since I got BPD I've asked her several times to read about it, so she can understand how to do deal with me and my emotions. She keeps on telling me she will do it when she has the time. She hasn't. Today, we were emailing each other, and one of her response and triggered an anger in me


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 Post subject: Re: Feeling angry at work
PostPosted: Tue Jan 05, 2010 2:38 pm 
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I know she hasn't read it yet, and that made me feel so worthless. She's been trying to cheer me up different ways asking me to smile more and I can't. TodayI told her I wanted to quit, and I told her I'm not sure if I will get the promotion at work. I told her I was angry and really unhappy. I was expecting her to ask why. But she didn't, instead she just told me to ensure I have a meeting with my boss and ask him about the promo. I vented so much stuff to her on the emails regarding work, and she would reply oh that suck.

It made me think why did I waste my time venting to her. I hate it so much, yet I'm beginning to get addicted to this anger I currently have. It gives me power and focus. It's becoming addictive. Yes I hate it, but at the same time I like it. I feel like I can rip a car apart and bunch a hole in the wall right now.

All cause my coworker, whom I thought was my friend, and she wasn't. She did so many things to upset me, I asked her if she had plans she said no, I wanted to meet up she said she can't then she invited another coworker. I hate my BPD and how it triggers so many things.


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