I'm with Kari in that I believe myself to be recovered when I no longer exhibit the symptoms of BPD to a degree which is detrimental to my life. I've made it there so I know it can be done. I'm not trying to imply that I think I'm 'perfect' now (far from it!)-- but to me, BPD is just 'normal' ways of coping amplified to the point where they are maladaptive (along with an unstable sense of self probably). My coping methods are no longer detrimental to me and I now know who I truly am. I'm certain that anyone with a BPD diagnosis can get there too-- with really hard work and a dedication/will towards recovery. There is always hope!
You have the
right to live a happy, health life. Just like anyone else, 'normal' or not. Carpe Diem.
Quote:
It just feels like this disorder rules my life; it affects so much, from my thought patterns, to relationships, to life in general. It's like a little tyrant sitting inside my skull ruling me and preventing me from being a 'regular' person, whatever that might be.
How do the rest of you cope with this frustration?
I deal with that kind of frustration by shifting my perspective on it. Instead of seeing my BPD as something that 'rules' me, I have learned to see it as something that
I can control. This gives me a sense of empowerment and allows me out of the victim cycle. There is a really great graphic that shows the victim cycle-- I'll find it and post a link for you. It really, really made a difference in the way I see things.
Just because something has happened a certain way in the past does not mean that you are doomed to repeat the mistake/cycle. You CAN break that cycle-- it's a
choice that you have to make (or not) to
consciously choose another way. It's really difficult sometimes but with enough practice it becomes the 'natural' inclination (at least that's what happened with me). Using the tools here really helps me break that cycle, as well as seeing a T for a long time (I no longer do). I am also a big fan of mindfulness and meditation as well as yoga and exercise (gotta get that energy out healthily or it will come out negatively!). I did not use meds to help with my BPD, but I know many who do and swear by them. Part of recovery is going to be figuring out who you are as an individual and what works--or doesn't work-- for YOU. Finding that Authentic Self, as it's called.
We all need to vent now and then.....but maybe when you are done letting out that frustration, you can turn it around and use it as fuel to help you towards recovery? I wish you all the best.