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 Post subject: a mishmash of different tools
PostPosted: Mon May 10, 2010 8:38 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:19 am
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Pinpointing emotions and feelings
5.10.10

feels like I've been out of balance lately. And, with the achievements, come the self-destructive behavior patterns. Am I being too hard on myself? Probably … I do that.

Today was highly stressful; felt like seventeen thousand things in my head all just pounding. Came home, got high, drank a beer, was productive with finding my tennis racquet, starting to clean my trunk, cleaning part of my bathroom. Bought two books for self care.

So I'm supposed to pinpoint how I feel right now from the list on bpdrecovery.com.
a – achy, angry, aggravated, angsty, anxious, apathetic, ambivalent,
b – bewildered (or more like overwhelmed)

Stressed, mostly I feel stressed and anxious.

The 5 steps
1.HALT – Am I hungry, angry, lonely or tired: yes pretty much all of them, especially angry.
2.Determine the Problem: I feel anxious and stressed out.
3.Come up with three possible course of action:
1.drug myself and go to sleep
2.self care – start one of the books I bought today
3.Distress tolerance skills : come up with a schedule for tomorrow to help alleviate anxiety and distract until I have tennis and then therapy the next day.
4 Figure out which one is best for now: read and get stuff ready for tomorrow, including the day's schedule.

The things I”m overwhelmed about are things in the future, but how can I possibly be prepared for that future without thinking about it? So, how do I plan for the future? I know this. I break it down into small achievable goals. Baby steps. And yes, I'm going to screw up. I”m going to miss some deadline or forget to turn in some paper – that's life and I am allowed to be human today. I am allowed to make mistakes today. I take those mistakes and make them mine by learning from them.

Okay, got off target here, but we'll go with it. Step 5 is:


5.Do It: So I'm going to go pick out clothes for tomorrow and read for awhile and hope that self care will aid in decreasing my stress level.


Still struggling, and yet feeling better after this exercise.

As always, thanks for listening.

_________________
"I can lose my hard-earned freedom if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."


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 Post subject: Re: a mishmash of different tools
PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2010 9:34 pm 
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Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 7:56 am
Posts: 1465
I like your 5 Steps! And your choice of action. How did it go?

I find the more I can prepare for and prevent that stress and anxiety, the easier life is. At some point I just have to rely on my knowledge base and trust in myself that whatever comes my way I can handle. I think you can too!

Self-care tactics are what helps me the most with anxiety. Getting in exercise daily, baths, yoga, massage, meditation, TV watching, listing to music-- really anything to get me out of my head helps. Yes, we need to plan for the future and prepare......but at some point it becomes worry rather than concern and worry is simply not productive for me.

And not to be preachy or anything......but you are what you eat/consume, right? So if you want a happy, healthy mind, in my opinion it begins with a healthy body. For me that meant limiting the pot and booze and learning to eat foods that support mental acuity. I'm not trying to say never have fun.....but in heavy=stress times, the better I take care of my body, the more my mind copes effectively.
Quote:
how can I possibly be prepared for that future without thinking about it? So, how do I plan for the future

If you continually choose healthy choices in the NOW (including managing stress levels!), the future will wind up being good too. At least, that's my theory and I'm sticking to it! Yes, thinking about the future is imperative and having goals to get you where you want to be are great. Doing and being your best in the NOW will add up. :biggrin

_________________
Temet Nosce-- The Oracle
"Pain is resistance to change."
--Ida Rolf

BRING IT ON!! -- personal mantra


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 Post subject: Re: a mishmash of different tools
PostPosted: Tue May 11, 2010 10:21 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:19 am
Posts: 274
Honestly H, you are so right - bpd pattern of mine, the more I achieve the harder it is to combat the typical bpd patters that arrive.

Quote:
t some point I just have to rely on my knowledge base and trust in myself that whatever comes my way I can handle. I think you can too!


Yes, I need to remember this.

I know I'm strong. The evidence proves it. And at the same time, when is it optimal to return to therapy for mental health checkups?

Quite honestly, maybe I'm not at the point where therapy is an afterthought, rather than a priority. I have made a decision, which although financially burdensome, emotionally I believe is to my benefit. Therefore, I am going back to therapy every other week. $200 gone a month/ but isn't my feeling s of being in control, managing my life without freaking out, worth that? A tenet I learned earier in life - if your mental health is out of wack, then nothing else really matters. Because if your mental health needs therapy, reassurance, whatever.... that is the prioroty. Without that, life goes to crap eventually, one way or another.

One of the truly great aspects of this site is not only the emphasis on the skills, but also the safety and security of when those skills aren't working as well as one would wish.

In other words, it is beyond helpful to have the skills handy to help one; It is equally as helpful to me to just be myself, to lay myself bare and even to acknowledge and feel my own fears, and still know that I am not abnormal, that I am not alone, and even that I am allowed to vent the fears engulfing me.

Not only do I feel solace and support from this palce; I find acceptance becuase I know at what point or another, we suffer the same afflictions. ANd we work hard to evole into our own individual potential.

This truly is a community I have depended on for guidance. ANd my hope, is that I can return the favor to other struggling souls out there, whose fondest desire is to make their life better, and even to evolve into his/her potential, no matter how much work and let's face it pain enters the equation!

As always, thanks for listening

_________________
"I can lose my hard-earned freedom if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."


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