Home  •  FAQ  •   Forums

It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 12:32 pm

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Anybody
PostPosted: Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:29 am 
New Member
New Member

Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:07 am
Posts: 5
Hello to whoever reads this. It doesn't seem like many people are part of this website, howeverwith any luck someone will be able to talk to me about this and any other problems I have. I can't trust many people, not even some of my best friends, but seeing as how here I am safe I think it would be best for me. I'm not trying to just find someone to what my friends call complaining, to which they dissmiss everything I say, just someone to finally be able to talk to, about anything at all.
Thanks,
jfrod


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 2:39 pm 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 1613
Location: The Carolinas
Hi jfrod,

I moved your topic because the focus of that forum is one to one conversations between specific people. If you'd like anybody to reply, this is a more appropriate forum.

I have trust issues, too. Mine oscillate from being too trusting too soon with some people to questioning my husband's word when he tells me he loves me. Now, I have an idea of some of the reasons why I do what I do. Why do you think you can't trust your best friends?

_________________
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. -- Goethe


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Wed Jul 28, 2010 9:53 pm 
New Member
New Member

Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:07 am
Posts: 5
Hello Trinity,
Thank you for responding. I will get straight to the point. Some of my friends have caused me to no longer believe in their trust because I have told them things that they go on to either spread or tell those who I asked them not to, and they consistently do not listen to what I have to say; however these are the least of my problems and they do not happen often. It's not that I don't trust them at all, just I can't fully trust them. Anyway, I have this constant feeling whenever I'm left to think of things in my room or really anywhere, I start remembering all these things that were, in my mind, and probably were, bad or strange. These create massive amounts of emotion in me and I have constant thoughts that I should essentially dissapear to a place where no one will know me, so therefore I cannot bother others. There's so many things fore to list it would be impossible to write them down. This whole thing is confusing me and I don't know who to talk to, other than my mom. I joined this because I want others with the disorder to talk to to help me not be so effected by it. These feelings I have only happen rarely and for short periods, but I do things that normal people don't, and now seeing that I may have this makes me feel even more alienated. This is essentially me speaking my mind, for I have nowhere to do it.
Thanks,
jfrod


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 7:20 am 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 1613
Location: The Carolinas
Have you read the The Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking? How about the Five Steps? I think those are two very important articles that can help you get a handle of these out of control feeling. The techniques lead you to analyze whatever situation you are in in a much more objective way. It's not easy! Don't get me wrong. But getting those to techniques in practice had be tremendously helpful. Have you read those pages? What do you think?

_________________
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. -- Goethe


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Thu Jul 29, 2010 8:24 pm 
New Member
New Member

Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:07 am
Posts: 5
I just did so, and I'll definately try those tips, I'll try anything. And the 10 forms of thinking describes me very well in not all but many aspects. This helps a lot because I always thought that I was essentially a freak because of the way I can get sometimes, but now I see that Im not, although I don't truly believe it yet.
Thanks,
Jfrod


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:02 pm 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 1613
Location: The Carolinas
Nope, not a freak! :) There are a lot folks going through similar situations. It's just a matter of re-learning how to understand and react to situations that ordinarily trigger us.

_________________
As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. -- Goethe


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Fri Jul 30, 2010 7:26 pm 
New Member
New Member

Joined: Tue Jul 27, 2010 10:07 am
Posts: 5
Thanks for the support here, it means a lot. I'll just have to keep at it with those strategies and I'll be able to control this much better.
Thanks,
jfrod


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 3:05 pm 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 3007
Location: Denver
Jfrod wrote:
whenever I'm left to think of things in my room or really anywhere, I start remembering all these things that were, in my mind, and probably were, bad or strange. These create massive amounts of emotion in me

I believe this is called catastrophizing. In the Ten Forms, it's referred to as Overgeneralization. It's a form of self-fulfilling prophecy and it's VERY common in BPD. We're petrefied of abandonment and we get an inkling that maybe we might have a hint of something that might possibly be remotely related to unloveable, it snowballs into this gigantic mess inside our heads and we lose all perspective and have no understanding whatsoever that anyone else around us could ever possibly see us in any other light under any other circumstance and so we act out accordingly, like that completely unloveable mess, pushing people further and further away until - as predicted - we do end up alone and miserable and we can bittersweetly, yet triumphantly, say "I told you so."

_________________
Like BPD Recovery on Facebook.
Follow BPD_Recovery on Twitter.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 8:12 pm 
Community Member
Community Member

Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
Posts: 1007
Ash
My goodness! Your explanation / description so so fits me! I've been pushing away the VERY PEOPLE who care for me and have done so much for me. And now, a very close friend is keeping a distance from me, it hurts a lot.
What should I do?


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Anybody
PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:57 am 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 3007
Location: Denver
Patient: Doc, it hurts when I do THIS. What do you suggest?

Doc: Stop doing THIS.

Truly, it's that easy - in theory. But in practice, it's a much larger issue than simply flipping a switch because we've intellectually recognized a truth in our character. We need to retrain our thought processes. We need to examine why we're so afraid to trust; we need to practice exploring our options and making rational decisions until it becomes comfortable and familiar - until we learn that we hold more control over our "abandonment/rejection fate" than we previously believed and act accordingly.

_________________
Like BPD Recovery on Facebook.
Follow BPD_Recovery on Twitter.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 10 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 14 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group