9.8.10 yep, this isn’t working, I don’t think. The reality is that it isn’t meshing. That’s the reality, as much as both of us want it to mesh. What to say …the first week of graduate school is over. I’m slowly acclimating. I’m having self-confidence issues. I have an appointment with the counseling center next Monday. I can’t relax around her. And, I don’t know if that is just me and my own issues, or if I am reacting to the stress I feel around me, even though to D it doesn’t feel like stress? I hung out with Doug tonight. It was incredibly nice to get high, have a few glasses of wine, and decent company and just watch Family Guy and SouthPark. Finally, I felt like I could relax.
Affirmations: I am love, light and kindness. I am love, light and kindness. I am love , light and kindness . I am courage in action. I am courage in action. I am courage in action. I am confident and effective in all that I do. I am confident and effective in all that I do. I am confident and effective in all that I do.
Debbie’s right. I need my space. And yet, I can’t bear to hurt her feelings, especially when I know she’s so vulnerable right now. So, what do I do? Put myself first? Put my sister first? How am I supposed to know what the right answer is?
_________________ "I can lose my hard-earned freedom if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."
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