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 Post subject: All the pretty girls - about being ugly, again. PLEASE HELP.
PostPosted: Mon Jun 06, 2011 9:28 am 
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I have recently posted another topic about feeling ugly, but I wanted to bring up something new.
As I have written earlier I have many issues with the way I look. I constantly feel fat, pale, too tall, too small boobs, big nose etc. Basically - anything can be ugly about me, if I just look/think about it long enough. It has become an obsession with me. I cannot sit and have a conversation, walk through a crowd or focus on something for more than five minutes because I feel the need to look in the mirror, compare myself to others, or worry about what everyone else is thinking about me. I would say my worries are quite severe as they stop me from attending meetings, parties, get togethers and even work. Often I just stay in bed. When I see myself in the mirror I cry.

This topic is about comparing. I have this "belief" inside me that tells me that if I am not the prettiest girl in the room, I am the ugliest. So, as you might understand - I feel the ugliest quite a lot. I freak out when I see pretty people because they make me feel ugly. I know this is very black and white thinking - but it has just become such a natural reaction. I cannot stop and it has caused me to have numerous panic attacks, outbursts of rage, accusing my boyfriend of cheating/wanting to cheat/finding someone else more attractive, or I just end up leaving the room/party/street/bus i.e.

What is your thought about this?


I also want to add to the post that I feel that I have brought this obsession onto myself. About a year ago I started reading fashion magazines and such, and began - slowly but surely to analyze my exterior. I have scrutinized every inch of my body and face and naturally I find many flaws. Today, this has gone on too long - but the "knowledge" is already there. I know how ugly I am. Others say I am beautiful but my response is always "you haven't seen me without makeup" or "you haven't seen me naked" or "you just haven't looked close enough". I hate myself for what I am doing - but I don't know how to stop it.


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 Post subject: Re: All the pretty girls - about being ugly, again. PLEASE HELP.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 07, 2011 10:35 am 
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Have you looked into body dysmorphic disorder at all?

On a strictly-BPD-related-note, perhaps you'll become more accepting of your appearance when you learn to self-nurture.

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 Post subject: Re: All the pretty girls - about being ugly, again. PLEASE HELP.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 8:19 am 
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Joined: Tue Jan 04, 2011 9:27 pm
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Anika,

What is your plan to get materials and do the work in therapy to address this?

Are you maybe in need of a day program (PHP) or residential to give you a boost?

Surreal


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 Post subject: Re: All the pretty girls - about being ugly, again. PLEASE HELP.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 12:43 pm 
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Joined: Sun May 29, 2011 8:40 am
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Location: Scandinavia
Hi again,

first of all - yes, I have heard and read a lot abou BDD (body dysmorphic disorder), and myself I have felt that I fit right in, but my therapist doesn't agree. So, I feel that if I am to work on this special area, I will have to do it on my own.

As for programs and materials I feel somewhat stuck. At the personality disorder center that I go to, I only receive one-on-one sessions and group sessions, each once a week. I receive no homework or practical material and personally I feel it complicates things. What makes so much sense in that sterile white room doesn't make sense out in "the world" - if I even remember what is being said during the sessions. It's like going to a piano teacher for the first time, looking through the notebook - but then coming home, being expected to learn all this stuff, without even having a note book. Or even a piano for that matter.

I do a lot of research on my own though. Books, tapes, the internet.


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 Post subject: Re: All the pretty girls - about being ugly, again. PLEASE HELP.
PostPosted: Tue Nov 15, 2011 6:51 am 
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Let me tell you if you have a boyfriend and you think your ugly you will lose that boyfriend you have now and you won't be able to get other boyfriends because of your low self confidence. Then I'm sure you will feel WORSE when you are single because you think no one likes you! The truth is in order to feel better about ourselves is to BANISH the negative thinking and counter it with positive thinking. Thinking negative is so easy to do. Thinking positive is harder That's why when you think positive and start to belive in it will work in your favor! But I takes commitment! You have to be ready to work if you want good outcomes.


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 Post subject: Re: All the pretty girls - about being ugly, again. PLEASE HELP.
PostPosted: Fri Nov 25, 2011 4:26 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2011 12:03 pm
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ive felt like this all my life less than and now im ageing too and have been recently diagnosed bpd well in 2009 actually but spent two years in complete denial i have a long distance younger egyptian husband as well who has ocd and a son with aspergos we r wooky and we r kooky lol im also codependant in recovery and a recovering alchoholic in aa im finding this site very helpful so im grateful for this


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