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 Post subject: Self harm as a coping mechanism.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 11:42 am 
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I hope this is where I should post this, I apologize if it isn't. This is basically a two prong question, and I don't know what to do with myself.

I've been self harming for the past eleven years. What originally started as a bit of curiousity has become pretty much my whole method of dealing with things. I'm covered in scars, and I'd really like to not add to them.

But I don't know how else to cope. To me, self harm is numbness. It's a way to escape when my emotions get to be too strong. And like an sort of recovering addict, I can go weeks or months at a time without giving in.

Things have been rough at home, trying to deal with my complete lack of self worth and my husband's infidelity. I spend almost all day either worrying that he's going to leave me because I'm nothing, or absolutely convinced of the fact.

And it pushes on me. Every second of every day, my emotions run me. And it's like filling up a cup. There's more and more until I either overflow (have a meltdown) or empty it out (cut).

So my question is this. I've been working on dealing with my obsessive thoughts, and trying not to cut. But how do I deal with being drowned in misery and emotion all the time?


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 Post subject: Re: Self harm as a coping mechanism.
PostPosted: Mon Jul 04, 2011 1:38 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jun 22, 2011 2:53 pm
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Location: New Zealand
I can really get where you are coming from with this...you aren't alone. I managed to stop cutting for 8 months, and then started again 3 months ago because it just seems the only logical way to me to deal with what i feel. Wise mind says it isnt but it works, and thats a pretty strong allure to resist.
This last week Ive been trying to turn my thoughts around. I constantly worry or pick up on what people say to me and keep it going endlessly in my mind. So I'm trying to say to myself "stop - your worrying again" and concentrate on my breathing and if its really bad I have to distract. Either doing something that needs doing round the house or going to an AA meeting.
Being miserable sometimes too, I could just sit and sit at home and wallow in it... I'm realising it doesn't work. If I stay like that I'm never going to recover... I am just so focused on 'recovery' right now. Go out to a favourite place...or ha ha this is insane get on youtube and put old happy hardcore tunes on and be silly for a while.
Yeah, its hard. I'm doing these things at the moment and it does get a little easier.
A lot of people say it on here, but its self worth and deeming yourself acceptable. I'm onlyjust finding that out to be true. I hope some of these things work for you like they are working for me right now. Be easy on yourself.... :-)


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 Post subject: Re: Self harm as a coping mechanism.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:25 pm 
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Joined: Wed Nov 02, 2011 9:08 pm
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2ndhandsaint,

This is a fine place to talk about this. Thanks for sharing your story and know that you aren't alone. Many people use self harm as an outlet that can occur for various reasons, including yours. There is no right or wrong answer and no straight answer to a cure. However, outreaching (beyond forum posting) is probably what you need for how long you have been struggling with this. There are several reasons why you can get over the hump, remove self harm from your life and move forward. For one, you recognize the scars as negativity and want them to stop. You have motivation and can find support, even if it's not through family and friends, there are resources available for you. Because you don't know how to cope with something other than self harm, you keep doing it. Once you explore other options, you will realize that what you're struggling with and how you are coping with it is feasible to a healthy life. Have you spoken with a therapist, counselor, gotten a sponsor or attended a support group? Because you have the motivation to find a cure, there are different types of treatment facilities that can work with you, including womens treatment specifically designed for people like you. You believe in yourself, now use that skill to overcome this obstacle and begin a new life!


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 Post subject: Re: Self harm as a coping mechanism.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:58 pm 
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Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2012 7:21 am
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2ndhandsaint,
Self hatred is a big one for me. SI is an unhealthy way to deal with anything yet we wouldn't do it if it didn't work. When I feel like SI I really try to think of anything else and if enough time passes, so will the desire to SI. When we have the right tools to deal with our mental problems and use them they do work and don't hurt. You are not alone and it seems that many here have used SI in an attempt to deal with our problems. The truth is that SI will never do for you what loving acceptance of yourself will.
Mike
PS. I am no saint and am in a life long process of learning to love me, not hurt me anymore and be happy!

_________________
Coming out of the darkness!


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 Post subject: Re: Self harm as a coping mechanism.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 10:01 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
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hey there saint :)
you could try other ways of distracting yourself. like soothing yourself with a nice bath, or letting go of the intense feelings by having an intense workout.


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