BPDRecovery.com: Forums

So, one thing I've noticed with myself is that I have good intuition (though it probably isn't all that good). But I will see a situation and think... "this is going to happen", or "this person is lying to me, this is the case", etc. What I've found is a lot of these times the voice in my head that tells me these things is right... but the question is... is it really right most of the time, or am I only focusing on the times it's right and ignoring the times it's wrong. Or perhaps because I'm thinking this is going to happen, I end up making it happen.

The problem I have been facing is that when trying to identify irrational thoughts and paranoia... i come across these instances where my thoughts turn out to be true... and so I wonder, what thoughts really are paranoid... which are irrational? How can they be irrational and paranoid if I was right?

While I have noticed marked improvement in myself, I still see these situations where I am wondering if this thought is rational or not. Would someone without a mental illness behave the way I am right now? Then when I have a paranoid thought, which is clearly paranoid... but it turns out to have truth to it... or perhaps my paranoid thought makes the truth happen, then it only goes to justify the illness and set me back in treatment.

I am wondering if other people have noticed themselves doing the same thing... as well as some insight on how I should go about handling myself in these ways.

I really need someone I can talk to about what is going on in my life to figure out if I am behaving in an unhealthy way... but then again, i have to learn that on my own I guess. I'm just not really sure how to handle it all.

I struggle with that a lot; my usual thought is "Am I having a moment, or is this person genuinely being a jerk?" I have this self-doubt to the point that I am sometimes scared to react to situations at all, thinking I'll be overreacting.

As far as wondering if you're concentrating on the instincts that pan out and overlooking the rest, that might be something you could track in a journal or spreadsheet. It might put your mind at ease to see it all in front of you instead of trying to pull it off the top of your head.