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 Post subject: Riding the border...so tired
PostPosted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 9:20 pm 
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Oh man, this is just getting to be too much. I just stumbled onto this site and am hoping that it gives me some clarity or even momentary peace of mind. I am drowning in my anger, suffocating from my self-loathing, wandering and lost in a world of unfair black and whites. I just ended another relationship with a great girl. At least I got rid of her before she could leave me, right? So ridiculous to be wasting a life this way. I want to smile and mean it, I want to love and feel it, I want to be excited about all that this life is. As the sun sets this evening on the west coast I can't help but think about all of the people that are dancing, laughing, loving...just living. And here I sit with just a keyboard to touch. Self-loathing isn't my favorite pastime but it seems to be my strong suit lately.


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 Post subject: Re: Riding the border...so tired
PostPosted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 2:39 am 
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I know what you mean. It feels like a never ending cycle.


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 Post subject: Re: Riding the border...so tired
PostPosted: Tue Aug 02, 2011 6:38 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
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Location: sarasota
Tiredhopful,

You sound quite worn out, but you've come to the right place. Are you in any kind of therapy? Sounds like you could use a professional to get you started. Understanding bpd is not easy, but certainly possible.

The "hopeful" part of your ID is encouraging. Sounds like you know there is hope for you, and that's wonderful....the start of a new beginning.

Dagwood


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 Post subject: Re: Riding the border...so tired
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 5:21 pm 
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TireHopeful,

You are not alone. First off, it's great that you want to share your feelings and thoughts. I think that's important when going about processing what you have been going through and how to move forward. Although you haven't provided much about your symptoms (besides your not happy and just broke up), is there anything else going on? I only ask because I wonder if receiving borderline personality disorder treatment is the right path for you? Right now, you are in the beginning (I think) of your break up, which doesn't necessarily mean you have BPD (nor am I diagnosing you because that's not what this is about). There are a couple of things to consider moving forward: if you want help, how to do it, and in what ways can you move forward? I hope you can answer these questions but it might take some time!


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 Post subject: Re: Riding the border...so tired
PostPosted: Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:00 am 
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*hugs Tired*

As Dagwood pointed out, the Hopeful part of your username is definitely encouraging, and if you have the ability to seek it out, help from a professional really could help you to start to learn to see some of the shades of grey, rather than just the black and whites.


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