BPDRecovery.com: Forums

It didn't go too well... felt like the guy didn't know what he was doing and didn't listen to me. I can't stay here long but figured I'd update you. This psych said he doesn't think I have bpd... that it's just social anxiety disorder and depression, I think he's wrong. His answer to treatment was anti-depressants... which is also not what I was hoping for. He started naming off some meds he wanted me to try saying the side effects included lack of energy, weight gain, and sexual dysfunction, all three of which I'm uncomfortable with... I told him I didn't want to take anything with those side effects, he said "Well they are temporary" and wrote the script anyway. He then scheduled an apt 1 month from that date to see how I progressed.... So I'm not happy or optimistic. I need to find if there is a way I can get another psych... I want therapy, not meds... if meds are a must they need to be coupled with intensive therapy... and if meds are necessary they will be meds I am comfortable taking. I don't want a psych who doesn't listen to me and there is no way I'm getting that script filled.

I also stopped taking my wellbutrin... I was getting no benefit from it and the side effects were rough, the psych suggested I come off it as well if I wasn't noticing any benefits... but then he just wanted to throw more pills at me and not even deal with therapy.

I find it hard too that every doctor I have seen has given me a different diagnosis... at least the bpd I think is right... but I can't have the psych who diagnosed me with that because of mental health proceedures and regulations.... annoying and pathetic if you ask me. I'm planning a move soon so I will have to talk to the mental health department of where I am moving to in order to see if I can get a psych there... hopefully one who knows what they are doing and is willing to put in the effort to treat me instead of chucking pills down my throat.

I don't know how it works in Canada, but can you not get a therapist without going through a psychiatrist? In the States, most counselors work independently. Some will want a client to get a psychiatric evaluation, but not all. And very, very few psychiatrists do any therapy at all anymore, they're all about psychopharmacology.

If you can find a way to get a therapist willing to work with you, then forget about nailing down a specific, narrowly-defined diagnosis. The label isn't what's important, it's your specific problems -- you need to name them, own them, and find ways to fight back against them. Medication doesn't necessarily have to be part of the plan, as long as you're not so depressed or anxious or unstable as to be able to contribute to the therapeutic process -- if any of that is the case, then the whole effort will likely be futile without drugs. No psychiatrist OR therapist can fix you. It's YOU who has to fix you, with their help. But you have to be willing to be very introspective and tough on yourself, and to take responsibility for the ways you have screwed up AS WELL AS seek acknowledgement and validation for the ways that others may have screwed you. Problem-solve. Identify triggers for emotional meltdown, and strategize ways to manage those strong emotions without causing so much damage to yourself and others around you. Prioritize your problems and tackle one or two at a time, instead of trying for some kind of grand mega-fix that will probably fail and leave you feeling even more negative and frustrated.

If it's impossible to get to a therapist without going through a psychiatrist, then keep working whatever your Canadian system is until you can find one who will give you a referral. Try to negotiate, if possible, rather than demand -- if you tell a doc to his face that you think he's wrong about your diagnosis and you aren't going to comply with his recommendations for treatment, you're just going to get yourself totally disrespected and won't get anywhere. If they think you're depressed, talk about what they see in you that gives them that impression -- meet them half way, and try to find a way to collaborate instead of just face off. Say they insist on the depression stuff -- then say OK, can you refer me to a therapist who can help me with some strategies for dealing with WHY I'm depressed.

I know it's an incredibly frustrating process, and it's easy to lose hope. Trust me, I've been there multiple times, and my own son is deep in his own battle with all this right now. But if you throw up your hands and quit trying to advocate for yourself and being proactive in dealing with your problems, then you're guaranteed that nothing will improve.