I don't know how it works in Canada, but can you not get a therapist without going through a psychiatrist? In the States, most counselors work independently. Some will want a client to get a psychiatric evaluation, but not all. And very, very few psychiatrists do any therapy at all anymore, they're all about psychopharmacology.
If you can find a way to get a therapist willing to work with you, then forget about nailing down a specific, narrowly-defined diagnosis. The label isn't what's important, it's your specific problems -- you need to name them, own them, and find ways to fight back against them. Medication doesn't necessarily have to be part of the plan, as long as you're not so depressed or anxious or unstable as to be able to contribute to the therapeutic process -- if any of that is the case, then the whole effort will likely be futile without drugs. No psychiatrist OR therapist can fix you. It's YOU who has to fix you, with their help. But you have to be willing to be very introspective and tough on yourself, and to take responsibility for the ways you have screwed up AS WELL AS seek acknowledgement and validation for the ways that others may have screwed you. Problem-solve. Identify triggers for emotional meltdown, and strategize ways to manage those strong emotions without causing so much damage to yourself and others around you. Prioritize your problems and tackle one or two at a time, instead of trying for some kind of grand mega-fix that will probably fail and leave you feeling even more negative and frustrated.
If it's impossible to get to a therapist without going through a psychiatrist, then keep working whatever your Canadian system is until you can find one who will give you a referral. Try to negotiate, if possible, rather than demand -- if you tell a doc to his face that you think he's wrong about your diagnosis and you aren't going to comply with his recommendations for treatment, you're just going to get yourself totally disrespected and won't get anywhere. If they think you're depressed, talk about what they see in you that gives them that impression -- meet them half way, and try to find a way to collaborate instead of just face off. Say they insist on the depression stuff -- then say OK, can you refer me to a therapist who can help me with some strategies for dealing with WHY I'm depressed.
I know it's an incredibly frustrating process, and it's easy to lose hope. Trust me, I've been there multiple times, and my own son is deep in his own battle with all this right now. But if you throw up your hands and quit trying to advocate for yourself and being proactive in dealing with your problems, then you're guaranteed that nothing will improve.
_________________ I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle I found it too confining. -- Jane Wagner
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