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 Post subject: Identifying elements of behaviour as BPD or co-morbid
PostPosted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 7:06 am 
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Joined: Sat Apr 09, 2011 12:38 am
Posts: 6
Location: Normandy, France
I haven't posted here in a couple of months.

I've been riding a kind of wave of relief at finally realising that what has blighted my life has a name, and can be helped.

To an extent, I've had a successful couple of months since the diagnosis:
- Read a lot on the subject
- Adopted the BPDR tools and have been putting them into practice with some good results
- Retired from my fantasy world and started living in (and liking) the real one
- 'Come out' to my wife. At first she laughed, then she read some of the resources that I'd been reading, then she read 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' and had the same "OH MY GOD/EUREKA" realisation that I did. As ever, she has been a solid rock for me and demonstrated why (despite my BPD) we are still married after [/list]22yrs. I.e. her.

Anyway. To the point of this post.
The triggers for my emotional flip-outs are still there, and I still feel the ‘tug’ onto that slippery slope.
In many instances I have been able to take a mental step back and see the issue arising. It is often difficult to make a complete turn-around. However, at least the sparked rages are resisted and avoided.
The primary issue now seems to be the violent fantasies. I’m unsure whether these are part of the BPD, or something rather separate (the ‘co-morbid’ disorder that I have seen mentioned). But if it is separate, how do I identify and resolve this?
Ocassionally a little trick works. I just tell myself that by the time that I have reached a certain spot (e.g. by the time I arrive at that corner 50 yards ahead (usually when driving, since road-rage is my weak point)), the mood will have left me. And it DOES work (sometimes), I actually feel my mental state turing over from negative to positive. Very odd, it’s like passing from a darkened place to a light one. I guess it is simply a demonstration of the fact that some of our mental ‘mood’ or ‘outlook’ is self-determined.
However, sometimes this trick doesn’t work and the dark violent thoughts fester, even for hours (I wish stress here that I’m not a violent person. I’ve never so much as slapped or struck a person in my entire life).

So my question (finally ! ;-) is this: are these violent fantasies a symptom of the BDP? Or are they part of an entirely different disorder? One that perhaps needs to be tackled separately to resolve it, and to enable me to make progress BPD-wise?

Any insights or references/resources gratefully received.


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 Post subject: Re: Identifying elements of behaviour as BPD or co-morbid
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 10:06 pm 
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Joined: Mon Aug 22, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 1613
Location: The Carolinas
There are MANY symptoms of BPD. I think trying to pigeon-hole things into "bpd" and "co-morbid" could be a waste of value time. How does the label, in this instance, help with your desire for recovery? Does it matter if the symptom is "bpd" or "co-morbid"? It may matter to you. I'm interested in what you think about this.

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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. -- Goethe


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