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 Post subject: "Smiling Depessive"??
PostPosted: Wed Sep 28, 2011 10:10 am 
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Joined: Wed Sep 07, 2011 6:18 pm
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I took the MMPI and came up with a diagnosis of "Smiling Depressive". The doctor(he is a Psy.D) explained in detail and showed page by page my results and then his clinical diagnosos.

So I asked him if I was bi-polar and he said he couldnt say because he trusted Dr. Henike's (my psychiatrist) diagnosis and I am medication so it could skew the results.

I can see myself perfectly in the results but I know I do express my emotions to some people, but as a child being emotionally abused those feeling/emotions were never able to be expresssed and so my mantra has always been "I don't care" even when I'm dying inside .

I think anyone can appear on the out side as "okay" but when alone, things seem to fall apart for me, yet I can't stand being around people too much.

Hope some of this makes sense.

And I don't want to be a "LoneSojourner" as my username implies but I want to be
part of something, back to being part of humanity so I am going to change my name to something, I don't know, I'll see what's available!

Thanks for listening.


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 Post subject: Re: "Smiling Depessive"??
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 8:34 am 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
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Location: sarasota
I know the feeling of "dying inside." I've always felt isolated from other people, not physically, but emotionally. Sometimes I feel as though people will be affected adversely by my verbal or emotional expression, so it's easier to keep quiet....my mother always said I was suffering in silence. It's not easy, IMHO, to find people who can relate. That's why I come to this board to connect with others who can understand. It's not always easy to trust others with our thoughts.

dagwood


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 Post subject: Re: "Smiling Depessive"??
PostPosted: Fri Sep 30, 2011 6:49 pm 
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Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:00 pm
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I spent many, many years appearing "fine" and "functional" -- and indeed was functional, for the most part, as far as the outside world could see -- when on the inside I felt anything but. Sad, hopeless, unloveable, incompetent, a failure -- you get the idea. It was only when I fell apart completely, and became totally NONfunctional, that I was finally able to address the inner pain with a good therapist. Ten years later, I'm still not functional in terms of being employed, and there are things I struggle with behind the scenes, but I no longer feel as totally fake when I'm in public and interacting with friends. I can smile and laugh, and it's genuine. I wish I were able to reach my goals more quickly and fully, but compared to where I was, I've make a ton of progress, with more to come.

Don't "suffer in silence." It doesn't really matter what label your mental health professionals want to attach to you. Rather, find people who you trust, especially a therapist, who can help you dig down and expose that suffering and resolve it. You deserve it.

_________________
I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle I found it too confining. -- Jane Wagner


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 Post subject: Re: "Smiling Depessive"??
PostPosted: Tue Oct 11, 2011 7:52 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
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Sari wrote:
Don't "suffer in silence." It doesn't really matter what label your mental health professionals want to attach to you. Rather, find people who you trust, especially a therapist, who can help you dig down and expose that suffering and resolve it. You deserve it.


I echo Sari's words. So how's it going? Have you found a good therapist who can help you?


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 Post subject: Re: "Smiling Depessive"??
PostPosted: Mon Dec 05, 2011 3:34 pm 
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Joined: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:44 pm
Posts: 33
See, at work and to the outside world I am a happy go lucky person; i'm loud, i'm bubbly and people rely on me at work to cheer them up, but in my mind, they couldn't be further from the truth.
At home and whenever i'm on my own, i'm in a prison with my feelings and emotions, i am completely over sensitive, paranoid, obsessive, insecure ETC!


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