Home  •  FAQ  •   Forums

It is currently Tue Jun 19, 2018 12:32 am

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:41 pm 
Community Member
Community Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
Looks like I'll be making a big move in the near future. My boyfriend and I have decided it's time for me to seriously start thinking about selling my home and moving in with him and his brother. I've been pondering this for some time, but only recently have I come to the realization that it's the best thing for me.

I have a relatively large home, and don't need this much room. It's also getting more and more expensive to live here. I'm in a condominium, and we owners are always at the "mercy" of the Board of Directors about increases in costs....both monthly and special assessments. If I move in with Mike, I would save a lot of money. Also, there are so many silly people always causing some sort of trouble....it gets weary hearing about it and wondering how these things will affect me. Condo living is not as carefree as many people who move here believe.

First, I've got to get my taxes done, and then I'll start seriously thinking about things I'll need to do to faciliate the next "happening" in my life. I've got to be as flexible as possible in my thinking which hasn't always been easy for me, ha,ha. BUT, I believe I can and will be able to now.

Thanks in advance for any thoughts

dagwood


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:53 pm 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Tue Mar 27, 2012 6:20 pm
Posts: 336
That sounds like quite a step in your relationship! Are you excited? :)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:13 pm 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 3007
Location: Denver
Congratulations for making a decision. Sometimes that's the biggest challenge.

I wish you luck in selling your home. I've heard stories of it taking quite a while in the current economy.

Having myself also lived with my (now-ex-)husband, his father AND his brother (in a 2 bedroom, 971 s.f. townhouse) I commend you on your bravery for taking this step. Not only are there the innate chalenges of two people taking their relationship to the next level by living together, but throw in a third party (of which he is related by blood to one of you which tends to cause friction between the couple when the blood relations take priority.) Tackling both "living together as a couple" along with "navigating a shared living space with two people after living solitary for a while" can be quite a challenge.

Getting away from the HOA (or Board of Directors or whatever it is you've got) will DEFINITELY be a step in the right direction! I loathe & despise any form of red-tape-run living situations, especially where a group of small-minded, power-hunger soulless people with God complexes have the ability to cost me financially and start legal issues through their petulance. (Bitter much?! LOL)

Anyway, once you do get out and have the sale money, I'd encourage you to sequester the money away for your future. It would be tempting to "live it up" with the proceeds and interest rates are at an all-time low so it's not like putting it in a long-term CD would do much for you but eventually the rates will go back up and that means so will the cost of getting a mortgage. It's better to have the money set aside. (Not to be a naysaryer, really - but living with the brother might speed-up an end to an otherwise strong relationship. Always look out for YOU first anf foremost!)

_________________
Like BPD Recovery on Facebook.
Follow BPD_Recovery on Twitter.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 3:32 pm 
Community Member
Community Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
thanks Ash and Mask,

Mike and I have been together for 12 years and living together for about 3 years now. But yeah, the third person is something else. I get along well with Pete, though, and I know he is ok with this change in his life. Mike has talked with Pete about this possibility, so he's been expecting it. We've actually been discussing this for about 2 years.

Ash, YES....I will definitely stash the money away. I have always been very careful with money, and don't live extravagantly. Plus I'll be saving even more money to stash away. Nope, the future is never guaranteed. Yep, I have learned that I am the only one who can really look out for myself.

Mask, I am excited.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:02 pm 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Fri Jul 29, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 3007
Location: Denver
In that case, then - I'm even more thrilled for you! It sounds like you've been very conscientious about this whole thing, thinking about the possibility, challenges, etc. I'm glad you have a plan and there's a stable relationship with solid history in place. That's always a big help.

_________________
Like BPD Recovery on Facebook.
Follow BPD_Recovery on Twitter.


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Fri Apr 13, 2012 4:10 pm 
Community Member
Community Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
Thanks Ash


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Wed Apr 18, 2012 5:17 pm 
New Member
New Member

Joined: Sun Aug 21, 2011 10:27 am
Posts: 190
dagwood,
I hope things go very well for you, as you continue to work thru your plans to implement this upcoming lifestyle change.
:)


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 5:01 am 
Community Member
Community Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
thank you very much Hi330n, I very much appreciate your thoughts.

dagwood


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 9:48 pm 
Community Member
Community Member

Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
Posts: 1007
dagwood,
all the best to you :)

Ash,
you're no longer with your husband? I always thought you are together with him............


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Thu Apr 19, 2012 11:28 pm 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 1059
Good luck, dagwood. It sounds like a good plan.

I would so love to leave the condo where I live. The board is a bunch of nosy busybodies who pick on me for stuff like putting up a Christmas wreath, the mailman is incompetent and incapable of delivering the right mail to me, I'm not allowed to have a pet of any kind -- it's ridiculous. But since I don't have a regular income outside of Social Security, I'm not going to be able to get a mortgage. I'm still hoping to leave FL sometime in the next couple of years, and I hope that wherever I end up I can find a small house or duplex or something to rent. I'd much rather deal with a single landlord than a whole condo board.

I hope it works out for you.

_________________
I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle I found it too confining. -- Jane Wagner


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 5:53 am 
Community Member
Community Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
Sari,

I too hope you can have the living arrangements someday that are really right for you. Our board doesn't say anything about xmas wreaths, but "technically" we're not supposed to have them.....but people do, including me, and nobody ever complains. My place is actually fairly lax about enforcing rules....we're 200 owners, and it covers quite a large area, so a lot is overlooked. we've had people move in and after finding out what condo life is like, they leave. It's been ok for me in that the yard and bushes are taken care of, and my h20 is paid in my monthly maintenance....but it still leaves a lot to be desired.

dagwood


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Fri Apr 20, 2012 9:03 am 
Community Member
Community Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
MereMortal,

Thank you


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:01 am 
New Member
New Member

Joined: Wed Mar 14, 2012 6:48 am
Posts: 421
Location: Brampton
I remember you struggling with decision a few weeks ago. I'm glad you made a decision that will be good for you! Best of luck selling the condo and in the new chapter of your life!

_________________
"I'm loved. I can't forget that or take it for granted. I'm going to be here and be taking advantage of every resource that I can find in Brampton. I WILL heal. The pain will subside. I have a future full of possibilities. I just have to fight tooth and nail to make it there."


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Big change coming for me
PostPosted: Wed Apr 25, 2012 8:12 am 
Community Member
Community Member
User avatar

Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
Posts: 819
Location: sarasota
Thanks Luna


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 14 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Google [Bot] and 3 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group