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 Post subject: I don't know what to do when I'm alone??
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 4:55 pm 
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I don't understand why i feel this way. whenever i'm alone, i feel almost paralyzed. I can't get anything done because i can't come to a decision about what to do or what i want to do. So i just spend all day doing "safe" things, such as watching tv and being on the computer. And then I feel guilty becuase i'm wasting all my time and not doing anything!


When there are other people in the house, i do feel a little better. I think all their activity motivates me a bit. I don't feel as guilty becuase i'm not the only one in the house, I know where everyone is and I know they're not out in the world being happy and successful while I'm just shut up inside.
I do go to class, and when I'm feeling really bad I go shopping to distract me (not good i know). I try to get out with friends but I don't have many friends. But idk... i can't get rid of this feeling.


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 Post subject: Re: I don't know what to do when I'm alone??
PostPosted: Fri Apr 27, 2012 6:34 pm 
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That definitely sounds like a frustrating situation.

I think posting in places like this forum can be very helpful, because essentially, you're talking with others, and still staying home. If you're in therapy, or see a counselor, you could probably ask them for ideas of safe things you can do while alone that makes you feel more useful.

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"And suddenly... I felt nothing."


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 Post subject: Re: I don't know what to do when I'm alone??
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:16 am 
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Totally get where you're coming from. I usually get so caught up in the worry of "what am I going to do? How do I keep myself occupied? How long will task A take before I need to find something else?" etc etc...But, what I've found is that if I just start something without planning to do it, it's actually much easier. I'll just sit down and play a couple piano songs, or pick up the phone and call my brother, today I found myself cleaning my basement after taking a load of laundry downstairs. Maybe this will help. If we put less pressure on ourselves I think it helps.


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 Post subject: Re: I don't know what to do when I'm alone??
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 11:47 am 
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Oh gosh, I get so anxious that I hide around my room a lot. It is safe, but I also know that it's a total waste of my time, and won't make me as happy in the long run as doing something productive. When I'm caught up in it, I try to make a tiny goal:

Go get a coffee downtown.
Go for a 10 minute walk.
Read in the sun for a little while.
Do some crunches or yoga.
Turn on a song and dance.
Bake some cookies.
Go to class and leave half way through if I feel too nervous while I'm there. (I use this to motivate me a lot, but I only left one time.)
Make an appearance at a party.

After the initial push, the 10 minute walk sometimes becomes becomes 45, getting a coffee means chatting with someone I haven't seen in a while, or "making an appearance" turns into staying all night.

... and sometimes it's just a 10 minute walk. But hey, that's better than nothing.


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 Post subject: Re: I don't know what to do when I'm alone??
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 12:03 pm 
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Mask wrote:
Oh gosh, I get so anxious that I hide around my room a lot. It is safe, but I also know that it's a total waste of my time, and won't make me as happy in the long run as doing something productive. When I'm caught up in it, I try to make a tiny goal:

Go get a coffee downtown.
Go for a 10 minute walk.
Read in the sun for a little while.
Do some crunches or yoga.
Turn on a song and dance.
Bake some cookies.
Go to class and leave half way through if I feel too nervous while I'm there. (I use this to motivate me a lot, but I only left one time.)
Make an appearance at a party.

After the initial push, the 10 minute walk sometimes becomes becomes 45, getting a coffee means chatting with someone I haven't seen in a while, or "making an appearance" turns into staying all night.

... and sometimes it's just a 10 minute walk. But hey, that's better than nothing.


Jovie,
I often use this same approach as Mask has shared.

Sometimes I feel so stuck and unable to do anything. But, if I will just p-u-s-h myself to do SOMETHING (and sometimes I really do have to p-u-s-h!), that anxious, icky, 'stuck feeling' will usually lift and generally go away for the day.

It does require a conscious effort on my part, to do the pushing ... but when I'm willing to put forth the effort ... I usually experience positive results.
:)

p.s. Mask: I love the "turn on a song and dance" idea! (I do it, too!) Dancing helps me so much, to relieve anxiety and stress ... and is so much fun!


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 Post subject: Re: I don't know what to do when I'm alone??
PostPosted: Sat Apr 28, 2012 1:19 pm 
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I like the dancing idea.....and blast the music!! I do that a lot.

dagwood


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