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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 2:39 am 
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Well, I personally do not see you as judging others as much as I see possibly some underlying issue involved that allows these people to bother you to this extent. I went through the same thing, but as I said, I realize that in my own situation, I was placing my own expectations upon others, and when they couldn't meet them, I would become frustrated and lash out myself. It had to do with my own mother, that I spent many of my years trying to receive validation and understanding from her, and also trying to get her to step in my shoes, and trying to get her to change something so we both could be happier, but I never won the battle. For some people, I was still trying to win that same battle. I realize now that my mother for her own reasons is incapable of seeing what I see, she may never. And she will probably never change a thing, because she simply doesn't have the capability to understand what I can, nor does she care to put forth the effort.

I think it takes an acceptance of other people, where they stand, and their struggles. An acceptance that people are different, that they have their own issues, backgrounds, thoughts, methods of learning, rates of learning, feelings, etc. - to radically accept that although they aren't like us, that doesn't mean they aren't ok, and just because it takes them a little longer to understand some things we can, that it doesn't necessarily mean they are hopeless or that they aren't trying. And to also learn that one thing we can do for ourselves is to try to gain patience and a better understanding of where they stand.

Sometimes we have to step back and gather our thoughts - to quit communicating with another for awhile so we can gain a better understanding of our own situation, and to give ourselves a chance to grow. I can understand your desire to help. At the same time, I think there is some issue underlying that is causing you to be so bothered by what you see as certain people's lack of growth, and that could be something you could explore.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 2:47 am 
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Denim -

A question/observation that is mentioned out curiosity and with sincerity- It is something I think I see myself do. I have not quite gotten why you came here to post about your regret when it didn't really have to do with the community. What I mean is- unless I am misunderstanding you- your regret was over having directed someone here. So, as I see it, the regret you have is related to that person and directing them here. And what I relate to is when I have bad (or difficult) feelings about something I tend to direct those feelings somewhere cause I have difficult coping with them. Do you feel that this is the case for you?

Is your regret over the community? An individual? A behavior? While you may have discussed this earlier, the length of the posts and the variety of discussion has somewhat lost me. And it might not be of any importance for you to answer. This was just something I observed once I stepped away from here a bit. I wondered why you posted.

I know you said that you also wrote this individual, but do you think coming here was an effective means of dealing with your feelings or just 'a means'. Again, I am asking from the viewpoint of something I am observing that relates to my own behavior- so this is sorta trying to figure me out from the outside in.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 5:05 am 
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My hope was that other people would have more success and that there would come a time when I could feel comfortable enough to return, and yet now it seems I am "judging" others for being unsuccessful in the way they are handling the very problem I refuse to deal with! Maybe it is hopeless and I should just learn to accept that. My efforts are most likely to be met with "I won't change and you can't make me" so why bother? If someone wants to be the way they are, they have every right to be that way no matter how difficult it is for others to tolerate.


Why is your being here dependent on how successful other people are in their recovery? I dont' come here to rate myself against anyone else. I come here to work on me. It doesn't matter where others are in their recovery. I can't tell anyone else how slow or fast to respond to recovery work. It's none of my business. Why does it bother you so much whether others feel they can or cannot change? You say
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"if someone wants to be the way they are, they have every right to be that way no matter how difficult it is for others to tolerate."
Well, first of all, you don't know if they WANT to be that way. They may have trouble changing. They may be working on things at home that you don't see here at BPDR. They may have external factors that hinder their recovery. Everyone works at a different pace. You are assuming they want to be "that way." You don't know for sure.

We are all here to work on ourselves. I have to accept that person X, person Y, and person Z are all in different phases of recovery. If it frustrates me that person Y isn't recovered enough to my liking, that's my problem. I would never tell him/her that they haven't gotten well fast enough for me. Who am I to judge them? Heck, if I'm not 100% better what right do I have to judge them?

If I felt this wasn't a healthy place for me, I probably wouldn't be here. But I find that I learn a lot, even from those who are not as advanced as others in recovery. We are all human, not robots. If you feel certain people have not recovered as to your liking, then you might need to learn some distress tolerance skills to deal with that. As Aqua said, you need to learn to accept people for where they are. It's just like real life. Not everyone will please you and be where you expect them to. Believe me, if I am not totally recovered, it is not because I want to piss someone off here on the board. Life is a little messy and it's not linear. We take steps forward and steps backward. We all struggle. We all need to learn patience if we are to remain here. I know I have struggled with this and wondered "why can't so-and-so just get over it?" Well, for one reason or another they can't. They struggle. If you can't accept where another person is in recovery, and it bothers you for some reason, then just don't have dealings with that person. We are only responsible for ourselves. Sure, we'd like our friends to get better and to see results. But we can't force anyone to our timetable. We can give advice to our friends, but in the end, we're only responsible for ourselves.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:33 am 
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True, we can't. At the same time, a lot of people kept telling me the same thing, if a certain person bothers you, ignore them. But sometimes, when there is an underlying issue driving you, it's not so easy, and that is the struggle one is dealing with.

It's so easy for me to think, "why doesn't x just get over this?", when it wasn't so easy for me to get over what other people see as being so easy for them. All in all, our struggles are different and varied and we can all wonder why other people can't see what we do, but no, we can't force someone to see it or to take action. They have to work it out for themselves. And yes, sometimes I know that what people are saying is correct, but I just haven't identified why I am behaving the way I am or gotten a hold on it.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:58 am 
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I think, Denim, that a recovery message board isn't the place to look for role models, and that if that is a person's reason for going to a recovery forum, they will probably find it lacking. Yes, some of us can sometimes be role models for others here. But there are also learners who are struggling, and not yet ready to be a role model, and yet, they not only have the right to post, but should be posting.

I do understand the benefit of a role model. A have a real life friend who has been a great role model for me for dealing with emotions, a great example, and I'm really glad to know him.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:30 am 
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I need to see someone acting in appropriate ways to model myself after because I don't want to model myself after people who are stuck in their mental illness. I don't want to talk about how I became the way I am or make excuses about why I have poor coping skills - I want to get better. Don't you think people coming to BPDR want to get better too? Isn't it fair to expect that there will be people here who can model what recovery looks like in order to give them hope? Where would any of us be without hope? I would rather be dead.

Hi Denim,
I personaly don't think you really need anybody to be a role model. I think you know what appropriate behavior is and is not, even though you have chosen otherwise in the past. Also, you aren't responsible for what your friend does or does not do. If she wants to post she will. If she finds something of use then great, if she does not, then she makes a choice. She is an adult I assume, correct? You are assuming too much control over this, over your friend and what she might see here, and over the board and how people might speak or post. After suggesting the site, it is really none of your business any longer what happens after that. There are other things I could question regarding your feelings about board leaders that I'm not sure I want to bring up, but there might be some resentment you could check out inside yourself regarding that.

Also, there are so many contradictions in your posts. You recommended the site, yet you are critical of it and now threaten once again to leave. You come and point out what is wrong with it, yet you refuse to look at yourself, though you did say you were going to check out a therapist. Last I checked nothing has changed much with you either. You point the finger yet yave three pointing back at you. You have been talking about seeing a therapist for years, yet there are always excuses or you want to try some alternative person with questionable ideas/methods/slants. Maybe you really want to know why YOU have not changed much. I would challenge you to stay and start to work on you without getting scared or angry and then stomping away. You may be able to put full sentences together, but can you put your life together yet? Can you gather up some courage and face your issues? Can you go see a pdoc and get on proper medication? Can you go to a therapist and actually stay longer than two weeks? When, Denim, are you going to accept yourself and then get what you really need? I see the same Denim through these well-constructed sentences. I wonder what it would take for you to put your own criticism to the test, gather up some courage, and go after what you need. If you are so critical of others here, then show us/them what it takes to change Denim. Instead of insisting you can't "help" anybody, lets see by example!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 9:45 am 
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Denim Blue wrote:
Let's say you observe a two-year-old throwing a tantrum because she is two and does not know any better. How would you deal with that behavior? Would you accept the tantrum or would you encourage the child to use "big girl" words instead?

What if you came back two years later when the child was four and saw her throwing a tantrum. Would you accept the tantrum or would you expect the child to use her "big girl" words instead?

A year later you observe the same child, now five years old, throwing a tantrum. Would you accept the tantrum or expect the child to have moved beyone tantrum-throwing by this time? Would you merely encourage the child to use "big girl" words or would you insist the child use "big girl" words at this point?


Denim,
If the "child" throwing the tantrum was my child, I would encourage her to use "big girl" words. If the child was someone else's, I'd let their own parents handle it. None of my business. No one here is your child!

Actually when my kids threw temper tantrums, i ignored it. They stopped pretty quickly because they got no positive reinforcement. Sometimes people, even adults, behave childlike because they get a lot of "help" from others who try to change their behavior. Sometimes they continue because even the negative attention is attention nonetheless.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:18 am 
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I too tend to ignore tantrums, it only adds fuel to the fire to do anything but. Sure I can say why it was inappropriate after the event, when the person has the ability to focus, but during temper tantrums, best to remove targets, ie myself.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:31 am 
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Ps.
I would never go up to a 50 year old and insist that they use "big girl" words. Who am I to do such a thing?

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 10:49 am 
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I can't wait for someone to tell me to use big girl words. I know some great ones I can use! Learned them right here, in fact.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 1:02 pm 
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When the child is six years old and still throwing a tantrum, would you tell the child "I know you were once two so it is okay for you to act like a two-year-old since it is perfectly understandable for you to act that way" or would you tell the child "I expect you to act like a six year old now"? What if the child said "I can only act like a two-year-old because I was taught to act like a two-year-old when I was two"? Would that be acceptable or would you encourage the six-year-old to act like a six-year-old instead of continuing to act like a two-year-old?


Denim,

I think you're missing the point here. Did you even read my post? Inner child work IS NOT for the purpose of excusing behavior. Inner child work DOES NOT say it is "okay for you to act that way."

What inner child work does is help a person to see WHY they tend to respond in child-like ways so that they can determine what their underlying needs are, go about meeting those needs, and learn more appropriate adult behaviors. Unfortunately, is doesn't happen overnight or with the snap of a finger.

It's not a matter of: "I can only act like a two-year-old because I was taught to act like a two-year-old when I was two."

It's a matter of: "I acted like a two-year-old because that's how I learned to react as a two-year-old. Now that I've understood that, I can go about meeting my needs in self-soothing ways and more appropriate adult interactions with others."

I personally don't see anyone claiming that it's OK to eternally act childish with no expectation of change or growth.



I don't see anyone saying that it's "OK" to


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 3:03 pm 
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I don't think that Denim is really interested in the solution.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 6:12 pm 
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I don't think there is a solution except for me to stop feeling the way I am feeling about what I see or to stop seeing what I am seeing. I have a hard time ignoring something in front of my face so the only way I can really avoid the situation is to avoid BPDR, which is the choice I have made several times in the past and seems to be the best choice in the present. I am the type of person who sees a problem and seeks a solution. I am not very good at just sitting with a problem until I no longer view it as a problem. If this is only a problem for me, then I am the only one who owns the problem and I will work on solving it on my own. Trying to define the problem is getting me no closer to solving it and it is only becoming a greater problem by involving others in the problem-solving process. I don't know what I was thinking by addressing the community with what seems to be my own personal problem.

I am sure you have all heard the joke: "How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? One, but the light bulb has to want to change." It seems I am not going to be a protagonist for change if it is not the desire of the community to change. I should expect nothing more than Borderline behavior if that is what the community is all about. My assumption is that people are here to change their behavior and that is the root of my personal struggle with what I see keeping people stuck. I have appreciated the challenges to my own thinking when I have been stuck since I think that is more helpful than allowing someone to think that what they are doing is okay by not challenging them.

There are things related to my own mental health that I need to work on and an online message board is probably not the proper place for me to do that work. I am not sure why I ended up so attached to BPDR that I keep coming back. I probably need to work towards completely severing my attachment and look for something that I can rely on to foster the changes I need to make. I feel too much like an outsider looking in at this point. I am also too much of a teacher that I tend to feel it is my responsibility to teach, no matter what age a person has reached. I have been in positions where I have had to tell both children and adults to use their words instead of acting in inappropriate ways. I suppose I could keep walking if I saw a frustrated parent dealing with a toddler's tantrum because I have no invested interest in them and it is not likely that the parent's poor parenting skills or the toddler's poor communication skills are going to be an issue for me directly in the near future. However, when it involves people I care about, I do get involved because I want to help improve the situation. I should not care about BPDR or people here so much that I feel the need to get involved in a helping way. I need to be able to let things be what they are and not let it effect me personally.

I deal with the same type of response to "criticism" with my own teenage daughter. If I suggest she needs to clean her room, she challenges me with cleaning my own room. To her way of thinking, I need to accept that her room is a mess rather than speaking to her about it. According to her logic, my room needs to be spotless before I have the right to ask her to clean her room. I made the mistake of pointing out a problem here when I have not solved my own problems, which results in my being seen as lacking credibility. How dare I suggest that people take steps towards solving a problem when I have problems of my own - I must be arrogant in order to have done so!

There are so many questions in so many posts that I have tried to address them above but I may have failed to recognize each person's contribution directly. I will try to take the time later to catch up on anything I may have missed.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 6:39 pm 
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Denim, I don't think you've missed a thing. You are right though. I don't believe an on-line community is the best place for you to seek help with your problems.

I am not a professional, in the area, but I would suggest a good pdoc. and a therapist, in RL.

I don't understand why you continue to post.....(knowing that you are just repeating yourself). In doing so, you, too, remain stagnate in your recovery. Or maybe it's just me???

Good luck on your journey, Denim.

Hope you can join us again in the future.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2008 8:10 pm 
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Denim,

I think in order to help someone, one must learn what the best methods of helping them are. And I haven't even scratched the surface on that one. Does this have to do with people not listening to you or taking your suggestions? Because what works for one person, another person may never understand. We all have different personalities and points of reference.

I get it, I think I do understand you. But I think you are ignoring other people's suggestions as well. There is somewhere it seems you don't want to go yet, and that is ok. But one day, if you honestly want to get better as you say you do, you will have to allow yourself to go there.

Sometimes I can't hear, because the emotions involved are too powerful, so I have to walk away for awhile. Perhaps if you could identify the emotions you are feeling that you would be a good first step. How do these things you've described make you feel?

You don't have to explain why you think the things you do. Just try to work through the feelings and thoughts attached, and identify where the frustration stems from. What exactly are the processes involved in creating the frustration you feel? Identification for me is the most important step in solving a problem.

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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 1:31 am 
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Hi Denim:

I've come late to the discussion, but I had a couple of thoughts ...

I believe that you DO care about the people at BPDR and, accordingly, want to see it and them flourishing. You have contributed MUCH over the years while still trying to deal with your own struggles.

I wouldn't want to leave that either.

Do you envision yourself continuing to get something for yourself from BPDR without regard to how other people are progressing? Is the issue of your recommendation to your friend discomfort (for lack of a better word) factoring in more or less than you may have yet acknowledged (and therefore examined)?

I left a community several years ago now, (and after I had been here for quite a while), because I found myself feeling less and less connected. In that process I found myself more critical of some of what I was seeing (there) and very frustrated with my perception that it wasn't going to change.

I finally had to realize that, yes, perhaps that other community had developed problems, but, really, it was me and my expectations of what a productive "support = recovery" board looked like for me and I just couldn't really go back, [although I do pop in just to read not want then, but only every 6-9 months or so].

I do find that BPDR requires an investment, and when you've made that investment, (as you have), ... well, I'm repeating myself, but I DO understand your quandry.

On that other board I debated posting something, but decided against it. Why? Well, one of the reasons was that I realized, along with all of the other stuff that would have been raised in defense probably, the fact was that I had lost my desire to further 'invest' in that community.

I go through ebbs and flows re: feeling connected here, (as I think many people do from time to time), but I have never lost my belief that my desire to continue to invest myself long term was still intact, and even if it wanders from time to time, I still feel it there and don't see myself wanting to 'move on' from BPDR for some time.

What I did do is adjust HOW I interacted here, [which was helped by the flexibility my range of 'roles' gives me], and the frequency with which I do so.

That is how I had to look at the two situations, (involving two separate communities with two different outcomes in my case), so I thought I'd pose that as something to consider.

You know how I feel about the ongoing value of your contributions here, but if you truly are not 'feelin' it' anymore, [as the kids would say :shysmile ], I get that.

As an aside: Someone probably already noted that we've had quite a bit of discussion in the threads/formus on the issue of appearing stuck and how people can help, etc. over the last year or two, and I have seen much progression with a few steps backwards (by me included) now and then. But depending on the day and what thread (i.e. 'snapshot') one sees, I can understand what you would be seeing.

But then there are those, (what tend to be), BIG steps forward, and that's still a thrill, ya know?! :halo

Anyhoo, I wanted to put in my thoughts and wish you the best of everything no matter what decision you make ... :))

As always,

J


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 6:30 am 
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Denim,
I think that people here care about you too and are glad you popped back in.

Maybe rather than seeing what people said as complete criticism and calling you a hypocrite, you can see it in a different way. Maybe it is just about realizing that people change at different rates in different ways and some people don't because of things holding them back, such as the lack of changes you have made. You have reasons, whatever they may be to have not worked on your own mental health issues. It could be financial or location or distraction or other more important issues (such as a move) or just not willing at the moment. I challenged you in the hopes that you might see the middle ground in all this and be more accepting of people who do not seem to have made the progress you had hoped to see. Maybe thinking about your own self, you could have more empathy towards others.

It was a little difficult for your first time back in a long time to hear you come down on the board.


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:24 pm 
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My internal struggle comes down to the following:

Do I want to be here?

The answer to that question is both yes and no. So then I ask myself:

Why do I want to be here and at the same time why do I feel like it might not be a good idea for me to be here?

I have looked at the pros and cons of staying or leaving but I have not thought as much about whether I could stay with limits to how present I am here. My reasons for wanting to stay have to do with believing that recovery is possible and wanting to be a part of that process, for myself and for others. My reasons for not wanting to be here have to do with not liking some of the things I see (which I can identify but they are not things I have control over directly except that I have the choice to ignore those things). I understand the speculation that my level of discomfort could have to do with my inability to move forward in my own recovery but I honestly don't think that is the issue for me at this time.

It really comes down to what I feel I can tolerate and how well I can keep from being distracted by those things I see that I don't like. What I find interesting is that a few years ago I was much more connected to BPDR so I had a strong inclination to stay while at the same time the situation with this one person was so intolerable that it was enough for me to want to leave just as strongly to avoid my own feelings of disgust. Over time, I have come to feel less connected and at the same time I find the initial situation less repulsive. So I suppose at this point there is a chance that if I were to feel more connected, it would be easier for me to stay now than it was at the time I chose to leave. Now instead of feeling disgusted, I am merely disappointed.

What I continue to hear from people here is that I should be seeing someone and that I should be taking medication. I started seeing this therapist when I went off meds (Wellbutrin XL) just in case I had a hard time getting off the meds and needed to go back on them. I had run out of meds and decided to go off them instead of visiting with my doctor for a new prescription so I figured I could use some temporary support while I went through withdrawal. I told this therapist that my diagnosis was PTSD so I did not expect any of the "parts" stuff to come up. When it did, I gave her a book called The Unquiet Dead to read in order to find out if she could help me with spirit attachment, since I am most inclined to think that is what I am dealing with as opposed to make believe "parts" of myself. I am still exploring the concept of DID but when that diagnosis is related to the MPD diagnosis, I still get a bit "defensive" perhaps and question what it is I am dealing with exactly.

Today I ended up seeing this same therapist I saw briefly before the holidays because I had told her I needed a break to move and then to enjoy the holidays, fully intending to quit and never return. If fact, I initially cancelled all further appointments but then she called and asked me if she could call me back after the holidays to see where I was at then so I said that would be fine. I recently discovered a therapist in this area that I wanted to meet to see if she is someone I could work with but it turns out she does not have any openings. When this other therapist called and asked me if I would see her today, I agreed thinking I would give it another try but I am not going to keep seeing her. She is open to the idea of helping me release attached spirits but she also started in on the whole "parts" thing, asking for names and a diagram. I don't want to talk about the nature of the problem, I just want to solve the problem so I can get rid of the symptoms. She asked me today if talking about the "parts" has ever been helpful and I told her "no" because I have never talked to anyone about them before. Like I told her, I put my energy into keeping the problem hidden so no one can tell I have this problem.

So, at this point I am not going to go back and waste my time or this therapist's time (which she is at least compensated for financially) by trying to do therapy with her. I have not completely ruled out the possibility of finding a therapist but it would need to be someone I can work with and she is not what I am looking for in a therapist. I do plan to stay off medication as long as I don't end up suicidal again. I think I am through the roughest part of withdrawal and doing okay without the meds so my goal at this time is to do what it takes to be drug free.

What I still don't know is whether or not BPDR fits into my therapeutic goals or not. It is nice to be able to get feedback from people here who are already familiar with some of my struggles and can give me feedback on my thoughts about certain topics. I enjoy the discussion about various topics related to BPD because I still identify with people who have BPD, even though I may have a different diagnosis. I keep going back to what my former therapist said about DID being a severe form of BPD and that seems to be a more acceptable way of looking at it for me. I am able to process things on an intellectual level better than on an emotional level. As long as I don't get too emotionally overwhelmed by the DID stuff, I think I do pretty well in general. There are times I get "flooded" and I "lose it" but my goal is to gain more control over the movement in my head so that does not happen. I need to be able to pay attention to reality (in the present moment) better so I will be less symptomatic.

So, at this point I think I may be in a different place than I was a few days ago with all of this but then again I will probably be in a different place again by the end of the day so it is hard to tell where I am at sometimes. Today I have a headache and everything seems more blurry when my head feels this way, maybe because the numbness fills in for the pain. I can find my thoughts but my feelings end up drowned out at times like this.

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The question of suicide:
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 Post subject: Re: ...
PostPosted: Thu Jan 10, 2008 4:24 pm 
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Candle wrote:
Hi Denim:

What I did do is adjust HOW I interacted here, [which was helped by the flexibility my range of 'roles' gives me], and the frequency with which I do so.



I have done the same. I can post here only so frequently. If I post too often, I find that I begin to become frustrated. This is so in other areas in my life as well. I can't eat at Burger King everyday.

Some very good points on interacting in online communities, candle, and the investment made, although I feel as if my investment to this point was mostly in me.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri Jan 11, 2008 3:17 am 
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I'm telling ye folks, Denim doesn't want to step into the solution. The problem is much more fun to be in isn't it Denim? I know this cause when I'm doing inner child work with my therapist I get like this.

Denim will just keep posting the same stuff, and in the same breadth tell us all she's leaving. If that's not Borderline, then I"m a one legged green skinned hair-lipped cleft palleted Protestant Lesbian model.

Serious! Just let her at it. I'm getting a kick outta reading all the repititious stuff she's posting. I know ye are too.


:biggrin


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 3:59 am 
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smudg wrote:
The problem is much more fun to be in isn't it Denim?


Looking through your posting history, smudg, it does appear you have been rather focused on my issues for some reason since you have posted almost exclusively in the threads I have started since you last posted anything related to your own issues on December 16. I am glad you have found some value in reading my posts. Perhaps you will find it even more helpful to post in other areas of the board. You may even find some other one legged green skinned hair-lipped cleft palleted Protestant Lesbian model like yourself that you can relate to better. It does not apprear as if you and I have much in common.

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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 6:31 am 
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Denim,

One last thing and I will be done with this, but:

I know you mentioned that you cared about some people here and didn't like the negative impact others had on them. Have you thought about the fact that the friends you have here aren't bothered by these culprits? What bothers one will not even phase another. I have had issue with people here in the past that don't bother me now. People grow past that type of stuff.

I think all-in-all that you could focus on the problem you have with these certain people, to identify exactly what it is about you that is influenced so profoundly by these people's actions that you would leave the board because of it.


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 Post subject: Re: guys
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2008 9:29 am 
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calista315 wrote:
I can tell a lot of people are taking Denim's post personally. Otherwise....there wouldn't be so much passion in your posts.


Well, I don't necessarily think because someone is passionate in posting it means they are taking things personally. I'm passionate about everything I do lately, whether it be posting or playing a video game. Plus, I'm very persistent (perhaps a bit too much so sometimes). Add the fact that I love solving problems... and yes, I will try in a wide variety of ways to do so lol.

I do think I posted too many times hehe but I kept seeing new things to point out... it may appear to be the same to you, but to me they were new thoughts on the matter.


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