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 Post subject: Does everyone have an "inner child"?
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:27 pm 
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I am pulling this out of another thread to keep that thread from going too far off topic:

MysteryRoad wrote:
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I see a lot of this "inner child" stuff, which seems to indicate that it is okay for people to act like children at any age. I don't have an "inner child" so I suppose it is hard for me to understand the concept applied to an adult.


Denim, while I do think you are saying what you believe is true, honestly, I think you are wrong when you say you have no inner child. Or, maybe in one sense right, but in another sense wrong. I think you have suppressed or dissociated the part of you that the term "inner child" would refer to. And being as you have DID, well, it's a given you have dissociated parts. Certainly not much of a leap to think that the parts that some call the inner child might be among the dissociated parts. So, it's not that you don't have this part, but that you aren't in touch with it.

Also, it is okay for someone of any age to act like a child, if they do it in a healthy way. Which means an appropriate time and place and manner, and while also being responsible for one's own safety.

The people here who are dealing with inner child issues aren't trying to banish their inner child, because that's not the healthy answer. Rather, they are looking for healthy answers, one small step at a time.


Does everyone have an "inner child?" Does everyone here at BPDR have an "inner child"? I have not seen where everyone here relates to the posts on the topic so I am guessing that I am not the only one who does not have one. I find it unlikely that I have an inner child that I am not aware of, regardless of my mental health diagnosis.

I know that there are times it is healthy to act "childlike" but that is not the same as being childish. My doctor told me that at times I am childlike and I think what she is talking about is an ability to relate to children at their level. I worked as a preschool teacher when my older daughter was in preschool so I had to learn to "play" with children at their level. My speech was modified so they could understand, although it was not what you would call "baby talk" - I just used small words and short sentences. It was uncomfortable for me to "play" with kids but I was doing it as an adult for their benefit, not because I was triggered into acting like a child under stress.

The child spirits I am aware of are not "parts" of me. They don't even look like me. One is Native American, one is a Gypsy, one wears a red robe (I hate the color red and would never wear it) like Little Red Riding Hood, etc. and I don't think I made them up so they can't be "parts" or "aspects" of myself. The first one, a witch, came to me before my sister was born, before I was even two years old, and my father is the one who named her! Both my parents treated her as if she were as real to them as she was to me so I am pretty sure she was real and not just my imagination or subconscious playing tricks on me. I may have named the others after that but I don't think I made them up like kids create imaginary friends who are not real. I was channeling as a kid and some of them may have become "stuck" or else decided to stay in my body to help me survive. I have been reading about spirit attachment and I think that is what I am dealing with (as opposed to demonic possession as I once feared). These spirits are not likely to compare to what people call their "inner child" part of themselves.

I am aware of the child I once was and she is why I changed my name so much as a kid. Hearing her name was like being called "bitch" or "slut" so it was an insult and not a name anymore. That child grew up and did not stay a child. I am ashamed of the child I used to be and I want nothing to do with her as an adult. I did not "banish" her exactly, though. She is no longer inside of me because she no longer exists, except in the past and in my memories. She certainly has nothing to do with my functioning as an adult. It is not like I "switch" and "become" her like when the spirits take over.

It was my using different names that got me labeled as having MPD by a quack I was seeing when I was 16 years old. I think those names were just names and not separate people inside of me, though. I can remember some of the names from my school papers and yet I don't get a picture of a "person" to go with each name. Once I changed my name legally at 18, I stopped using those names, except I still use my "camp" name while working at camp. There have been other names after the agreement but I am not sure if they are spirits that channel through me (I did get back into Satanism briefly at 18 so I may have picked them up that way) or "aspects" of myself - they could be the same thing described in different ways.

I am still trying to understand and "accept" my current diagnosis but this is not the place for it. I think I have already been too open about it at times and it will only end up being used against me. Everyone dissociates to a degree and I am working on developing better coping skills so I don't get triggered into dissociating. I am also working on getting rid of the spirits so they can't use the body when I lose it.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 10:37 pm 
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I don't know much about inner child work. My first T discussed it with me and I didn't want to have anything to do with it. I sort of understand it - that inside of us are still aspects of the child we were. That child reacts to certain triggers, and we, as adults, need to soothe that child. When my first T told me about it, I told her I hated my inner child and didn't want to have anything to do with her. My current T does not do inner child work so we don't discuss it. He wants me to work in the present - he doesn't look too much to the past.

I am not saying it's not valid. I know there are people here who do inner child work and it helps them. I don't think it's a black-and-white thing. Everyone deals with their problems in a different way. I respect them all.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2008 11:20 pm 
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As I see it, the people who don't relate to the inner child idea, it's not that they don't have this part that some call an inner child. It's that they don't understand it and relate to it in ways that fit with the inner child idea.

It's not like any of us have a literal inner child. (I'm picturing a room inside someone's head, and a little child sitting playing in the room. :)) It's a label for a concept, a way of looking out one aspect of our minds.

It's a bit like, you wouldn't say they don't have french fries in England. Rather, one would say they have them, but they call them chips. Well, everyone has an inner child, but not everyone calls it that.

Also, for some of us, this inner child is very tangible and visible. For others it's integrated and a part of us and not something we notice because it's not separate from the rest of who we are. (And both have been true for me personally. Thus "we" for both.) Or, as I noted, the inner child can be suppressed or dissociated.

I actually thought about saying some of this in my previous post that you quoted, but didn't feel it was appropriate in that thread. Now you've given me the opportunity to add it. :)


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:33 am 
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I often think of the story about the blind mice and the elephant when it comes to labels. One mouse feels a tusk, another mouse feels a leg, and another one feels the tail and then each one comes to a different conclusion about what an elephant is based on their limited contact and experience with something much larger than they can imagine.

I have a couple of books on the Inner Child concept but, along with many books on my shelf, they are not something I have looked at recently or spent much time on since I didn't relate to the concept. I may need to take a fresh look.

The more I try to define what happens in my own head, the more confused I become. I tend to go with one idea and then find a discrepency so that I have to rethink the whole thing again in order to come up with another idea that fits the data better. At this point, I have tried to keep an open mind and accept that it may be beyond my comprehension.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 12:40 am 
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I suppose it's time to put my hat into the ring on this one. But I will say up front, I really don't care much what others believe about it, as I'm working primarily on my recovery and there's no place for it here. I know there will be some, or many who disagree vehemently with my take on this. So be it.

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As I see it, the people who don't relate to the inner child idea, it's not that they don't have this part that some call an inner child. It's that they don't understand it and relate to it in ways that fit with the inner child idea.


Well, let me be first to dispute this claim. I understand the notion at least as well as most who write about it here and my idea is that as an "entity" it does not exist.

I agree with Ellen's take that it is a label. And as with other labels we encounter in therapy it can, if used improperly, serve to mislead, confuse and make our lives more painful than they need to be. In some cases, IMO, it can conceivably delay recovery that could come about more quickly via other means.

I believe we all have some behavior patterns and some thought patterns that can be called more childlike than adult like. Goodness knows I spent decades with my little tantrums and snits. We also have some behavior patterns and thought patterns that are more "adult" like than childlike. These are just labels. And we can hang any kind of labels we want onto our behaviors and thoughts. Some of us behave more "green" like while others behave rather mauve like under stress.

So it's tempting to take this labeled stack of thoughts and behaviors and ascribe identity and responsibility to it. I've read here so many times something like "my inner child was acting out" that I have wanted to shriek. There is no inner child that can act. There is only you and me. You and I choose to act and think in ways that are adult like or childlike. You and I are making the choice. If there is acting out going on, it is you or I choosing to do that.

Because we tend to think of children as more innocent than adults I think we often tend to pull out the inner child label when our behavior leaves us feeling a bit guilty.

I think the Inner Child work can have some value so long as we're sure and careful to put responsibility for behavior where it belongs.

So, that's my 2c. If ICW is helpful to you, that's great. Be careful to make sure that it's not becoming or has not become an obstacle to further recovery. It's just not my cup of tea, so for me, the inner child that exists is a figment of our imaginations and too often (not always) a way of spreading blame and guilt around so we don't have to take it all on our adult selves.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 3:55 am 
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I don't know. I've never studied inner-child, but I am not against doing so.

I think the way some others have used it in order to escape responsibility gave me a bad taste for it, though.

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 9:49 am 
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ibfuddled wrote:
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As I see it, the people who don't relate to the inner child idea, it's not that they don't have this part that some call an inner child. It's that they don't understand it and relate to it in ways that fit with the inner child idea.


Well, let me be first to dispute this claim. I understand the notion at least as well as most who write about it here and my idea is that as an "entity" it does not exist.

Puzzling that you say "let me be the first to dispute this claim" (after quoting me) and then what you say after that is either neutral to what I said or agrees with it, and mostly agrees. I certainly never claimed that this "inner child" is an entity. Nothing you said contradicts my viewpoint that I expressed.

And I do appreciate what you added. Good insight.

(Denim, I'm not meaning to be talking about you rather than to you below. I do consider my below words to be addressed to you, but also to the group as a whole, thus the use of 3rd person.)

What Denim first said about not having an inner child, her idea seems to be that some people do, but she doesn't. My response is, to the extent that this "inner child" idea points to something real (not an "entity", but something that exists), yes, she too has an inner child. It's not something others have and she doesn't.

And yes, I do think the idea can be abused.

And I don't see that people here have used the idea to try to escape responsibility. I have seen people using the label to help express the disconnectedness inside themselves.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 10:56 am 
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Quote:
I understand the notion at least as well as most who write about it here and my idea is that as an "entity" it does not exist.


The inner child concept does not view the inner child as a separate “entity.” The inner child is simply the part of one’s personality that causes a person at times to act and react the way they did when they were a child. Here's an example:

Let’s say person A was ridiculed a lot by their parent, and this caused them to get extremely angry, yell, and run to their room and slam the door. Now, they are a grown adult with a full-time job. Normally, they act mature and get along well with their fellow workers. But then. . . .a situation occurs in the present. Person A is talking with person B in their cubicle. Person B (all in good fun) makes a joke about the tie person A is wearing. All of a sudden, BAM! Person A is filled with rage! Almost before they realize it, they’ve called their coworker a sorry SOB and walked out of the cubicle. They return to their desk, where they sit, furious, slamming their pencil drawer and thinking to themselves about how everybody always makes fun of them.

What has happened?

Person A has been triggered by an incident in the present (a good-natured joke about their tie by a coworker) that reminds them of a painful incident from the past (being ridiculed by their father when they were a child). And lo and behold! Person A feels the SAME rage they did as a child, and responds the SAME way they did when they were a child (blowing up and leaving).

Once they’ve cooled off, Person A realizes that he overreacted. He realizes that feeling criticized is a hot button for him, based on his past experiences with dad. He also recognizes that, for an instant, he responded with childish behavior. . .the same behavior he showed under similar circumstances as a child. Thus, he could say “My inner child got angry” or “The little boy part of me felt criticized.” He’s not saying that he literally has a little boy entity inside him. He is saying “For a moment, I was that angry little boy again.”

Quote:
If there is acting out going on, it is you or I choosing to do that.


I disagree. Haven't you ever had a "knee jerk" reaction to something without intending to do so, or perhaps without even consciously thinking about it beforehand? Some of our reactions are so ingrained that they are nearly automatic. What about a person who was in the military and now has PTSD? When they get triggered and begin to panic and react as they did while fighting a past war, are they choosing to do that behavior?

Quote:
For me, the inner child that exists is a figment of our imaginations and too often (not always) a way of spreading blame and guilt around so we don't have to take it all on our adult selves.


I agree with you that a person should not deny responsibility for their actions by blaming it on the inner child, as though it were not a part of them. But being AWARE that they have within them the capability to both feel and behave as the child that they used to be – having that self-understanding – is a benefit to them if such self-awareness helps them to see areas where they have not emotionally matured.

I don’t see comments about “My inner child threw a fit” as being an “excuse” for bad behavior or an “acceptance” of the behavior as OK. I see it as being an “explanation” for the behavior, an awareness of why I said what I did, felt what I did, acted the way I did. The goal of inner child work is not to excuse improper behavior, but to understand why it happens and where it comes from – with the goal of growing past those “hurt child” reactions to behaviors that are more reasonable and fitting for the adult I am now.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:17 am 
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On a related note,

"Soothing the inner child" does not mean saying "Oh, you poor baby! Your coworker made fun of you. Of course you yelled back! After all, they ridiculed you like daddy did, so they deserved it."

Soothing the inner child means that you have the insight to understand what's behind the behavior, what the troubling feelings are, and then to soothe those troubling feelings.

Like this:

"I'm sorry you were feeling ridiculed. It makes sense that you would feel angry, since dad criticized you so much when you were growing up. But you're OK now. You're not in any danger. This is 2008, and your coworker isn't your dad. He wasn't putting you down. He was just joking with you. And, anyway, it's OK if your coworker things your tie is funny. You're a good person regardless of what you wear. You don't need to feel bad."

If it bothers you to talk to yourself in the 3rd person, then just do your self-soothing using the word "I." The goal is to talk yourself down and soothe the painful feelings that the incident brought up for you . . .similar to the way an adult would talk to a child whose feelings had been hurt.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 11:37 am 
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And then. . .continuing the self-talk,

"Since I over-reacted to what my coworker said, I need to apologize and make an effort to repair the relationship."

So you go to their cubicle and say, "Listen, Don, I really apologize for over-reacting earlier when you made fun of my tie. I hope you can overlook it."

Then back to self-talk:

"How can I avoid something like this in the future? Hmmmm. Well, next time I feel criticized and that flash of rage comes up inside me, rather than spout out something, I'll try to stay quiet until the rage passes and I can think clearly. Then I won't say something I regret later."


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 1:13 pm 
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Yes, E2, as I wrote, I believe that IC work can be helpful when used properly. I also believe that when we're working with concepts that rely on simplistic labels we can often misuse them and create problems that aren't necessary.

A simple example... Harry has been doing IC work with his T, Margaret for a year... Harry has some perceptions about his inner child. He's named her Geraldine and is proud that when she grew up she ran for President. Harry likes to say now and then when he behaves in explosive, ineffective ways, that this was his inner child acting up. Harry's idea of Inner Child work is likely quite different from Margaret's idea because she's been working with the notion much longer. IMHO, Margaret would be most prudent to make sure Harry has a very clear understanding, more similar to hers than it seems to be, about what IC work is and what it ain't.

Actually, I found the little bit of informal IC work I've done to be quite helpful at long last. But for years I used it as a reason for not changing. Because I didn't understand the inner child. Then I finally discovered why I made those behavior choices that seemed so childlike. From that point on, I was solely responsible for my choices, and my IC was out of business.

Quote:
Person A has been triggered by an incident in the present (a good-natured joke about their tie by a coworker) that reminds them of a painful incident from the past (being ridiculed by their father when they were a child). And lo and behold! Person A feels the SAME rage they did as a child, and responds the SAME way they did when they were a child (blowing up and leaving).


I believe that first reaction was a choice. A very fast conscious choice to react to a most unpleasant situation. And we've generally made the same choices again and again as we matured, because they worked okay the first few times. All the while, we're learning that those choices have negative effects on others and ourselves that we didn't know about as children. Still we make those choices because that's what we know.

However, IMO based solely on my experience and my sense of adult learning theory, the choice to behave in those old ineffective seemingly automatic ways is a choice to not find more effective ways to react. Thus it really is a choice and we are fully responsible for it.

Quote:
Quote:
If there is acting out going on, it is you or I choosing to do that.


I disagree. Haven't you ever had a "knee jerk" reaction to something without intending to do so, or perhaps without even consciously thinking about it beforehand? Some of our reactions are so ingrained that they are nearly automatic. What about a person who was in the military and now has PTSD? When they get triggered and begin to panic and react as they did while fighting a past war, are they choosing to do that behavior?


Having spent much more time than I'd like diving onto sidewalks and slamming myself up against buildings in reaction to low flying jets and backfiring trucks, I can tell you I'm more than familiar with combat induced PTSD reactions. I eventually had to give away my guns and go play among the grizzly bears unarmed because I could not trust my knee jerk reactions.

But that's not to say I was not responsible for my behavior choices even then. I believe as above that our choices become ingrained because we choose to repeat them and not change them. When I chose to take responsiblity for and change some unhealthy behvaior patterns, and then had some success, those old patterns suddenly become largely irrelevant. Thus they are not "ingrained" in such a way that we can't choose to change them. They are no more ingrained than any other behavior habit and we go about changing all habits by using the same trial and error method we used to select those habits as children.

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I don’t see comments about “My inner child threw a fit” as being an “excuse” for bad behavior or an “acceptance” of the behavior as OK. I see it as being an “explanation” for the behavior, an awareness of why I said what I did, felt what I did, acted the way I did


We disagree then. Which is fine. I believe I see both uses here regularly. When it appears that folks are using it to delay taking responsibility for behavior change and making choices that promote behavior change, then I think it's a disservice to support that and for t's to encourage it under those circumstances.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 5:06 pm 
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I can relate to this. A lot. My inner child runs rampant every so often... it's getting a bit better now. But it's hard. I relate to children a lot. I adore them. Part of me never grew up at all.

It's a painful part really. Hard to come to terms with.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2008 6:54 pm 
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It seems to me there's multiple related topics here. That is, multiple questions related to the inner child idea.

There's what is an "inner child". There's does everyone have one. There's who is the idea useful for. These questions do interrelate, but, yet, they are separate questions.

(Question in the sense of topic for discussion.)


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 12:38 am 
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Maybe I should have set up the topic as a poll to find out if the "inner child" concept is something most people or just a few people identify with. I have never considered it strange that I don't have an inner child so being told that I may have one I don't know about got me thinking. I was thinking that if everyone has an "inner child" the same way we all have souls, then perhaps there could be come validity to my just being out of touch with my inner child. Then again, if the majority of people do not relate to anything resembling an "inner child" then perhaps I am correct in thinking that I don't have one. It is hard for me to test reality when I am not sure what is real.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:52 am 
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It would also bother me to name my inner-child. I don't think that would be good for me. I want to have a sense that I am in control and connected, and I believe that would reinforce that there is a part of me that is not. And I don't like that.

I don't have an inner-child. I could go that route if I wanted to, maybe I will one day, who knows. I have feelings in response to certain actions and situations of another, and I respond to those feelings, sometimes not how I would like to, because I haven't gotten a hold on how to handle situations and feelings. I suppose that when one figures out how to handle situations in a more mature fashion, the inner-child then can be disposed of, am I right?

I can see how it could help some people, but it's not for me. I see creating an inner-child to be complicating a problem that can be solved more simply.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 8:08 am 
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I agree with much of what you said, IBF, but still disagree that "knee-jerk" reactions are always a choice. I believe that we can make a choice to work toward changing those knee-jerk reactions. . .but I do not believe that the actual in-the-moment reaction is always chosen consciously. But that's OK. We can agree to disagree.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 10:10 am 
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Denim, my concern was the fact that in saying you don't have an inner child, you were denying something within yourself. As I see it, it's not understanding the idea of "inner child" that's important, but learning to be in touch with oneself. I'm glad you have been open to exploring the idea, and I hope it will help you in your self-understanding.

I notice Aqualite using the same words, "I don't have an inner child". Yet, in her has, I don't see self-denial there. It's okay to not think of oneself as having an inner child. My concern is when saying one doesn't have an inner child is a denial of a part of oneself.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:35 am 
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I believed the same thing, E2, until that reaction changed somewhat for me. Believed it for decades. It's so fast and powerful. Impossible to imagine we have time to make a choice before it happens.

However, recent experience has shown me otherwise. Now in many situations where I normally had a knee jerk reaction, I have a different kind. Calmer, slower, less damaging.... I give myself a second or two to think about it, and often ask for clarification before responding to buy a little time. I can sit there and observe my feelings wanting to strangle this thought and jump on the other person, or "defend" myself, but it goes away quickly.

So, to my way of thinking, the second way of reacting is much less well known to me than the first, but it's becoming "automatic" at least sometimes. So there must be a choice of some kind.

I believe that the way this choice works is that as small children, when we get in some sort of difficulty.... we ask ourselves, "uh oh, what's the best thing to do now?" and we have no idea. So we mimic what we've seen others do, adults, parents, other kids. If it works, the next time we're in a similar situation we'll ask... "what do I do now?" And that experience will come to mind. We'll try it or try another one we've seen, but usually will stick with what we know works. And this sequence of thought is so fast we can't even see it's there!

And on it goes until we reach geezerhood. Still have the same instant conversation with ourselves "What do I do now?" And the answer, whatever it is, is our choice. Often, quite similar to those we made as children for no reason other than that they are handy and familiar.

Anyway, that's my take on it, and as it doesn't seem to hurt anybody, I'll likely hang with it a while, coz it seems to be helping my recovery.

I do know what you mean. It can seem impossible that there is a thought or choice in that reaction. Oh, how I hated that.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 11:42 am 
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Really cool IBF! I am struggling with that knee-jerk reaction right now. Mostly concerning how I react to thinks going on in my house. With me yelling and screaming at my H. I spent an hour today in my T's office discussing this very thing.

So basically I have this knee-jerk reaction and have to learn how to stop it from happening. From learning distress tolerance skills. To stop myself from yelling before it occurs.

My T did tell me that yes, this is something I learned from my mother. But it can be unlearned. It doesn't matter what I call it - knee-jerk reaction, whatever - I still have to unlearn it. It sounds as though that is what you were able to achieve. Apparently I do have the choice to not yell at my H. I can stop and think "what do I do now?" We were given free will. No one is MAKING me yell at him. I just have to learn new ways.

My T did say that in order for me to behave more effectively, I should bring my H into a session with me to discuss it. That would help me stop this "knee-jerk reaction" that I am prone to. By discussing the situation, I can learn more effective ways to deal with the situation, rather than yelling at him. And if it works in this one instance, maybe it will work in other instances.

So yes, we are products of our childhood and what we learned in childhood. But those behaviors can be unlearned and replaced with new, more healthy behaviors. I like this.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 3:09 pm 
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So, I am wondering if most psychologists do believe that we all have an inner child, or that we don't? Does anyone know for sure? Is this a controversial belief or one that is generally accepted?

My t has always told me that she is treating my "inner adult" but she has also told me that part of me didn't grow up, and that I act in childish ways sometimes. So, since most of us sometimes act in childish ways, does that mean we have an "inner child"?


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 4:26 pm 
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I think we're talking semantics here. My T, for instance, told me he doesn't do "inner child work." But he does believe that I act in childish ways sometimes. I don't think it matters what you call it. If you react to situations the way you did as a child, and as a child would, then you might have to change how you behave. I don't see that it matters what you call it.

I don't know is there is such a thing as structured "inner child work" or if it's something that's more off-the-cuff. Like today, when I told my T about my recent behavior with my H, yelling and screaming at him, we talked about where I learned this behavior - it definitely does come from my childhood. We discussed my mother's behavior and how the people my family reacted to her yelling and screaming. Okay, so that's related to what happened to me when I was a child. But he doesn't say it's "inner child work." I don't see what difference it makes.

Every therapist has different ways of treating patients. Every therapist has different beliefs. If we commit to a therapist, we need to trust them and the type of therapy they do. I am happy with my T. If he doesn't do inner child work, that's okay. As long as I am being treated properly and learning new skills and getting better, that's what counts. As I said, I think this is all semantics.

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2008 6:14 pm 
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MysteryRoad wrote:
Denim, my concern was the fact that in saying you don't have an inner child, you were denying something within yourself. As I see it, it's not understanding the idea of "inner child" that's important, but learning to be in touch with oneself. I'm glad you have been open to exploring the idea, and I hope it will help you in your self-understanding.

I notice Aqualite using the same words, "I don't have an inner child". Yet, in her has, I don't see self-denial there. It's okay to not think of oneself as having an inner child. My concern is when saying one doesn't have an inner child is a denial of a part of oneself.


Oops... not sure why I wrote "fact" in that first sentence. While it's something I believe is true, it's not a "fact". Probably works best just ignoring those two words, actually.

And in the 2nd paragraph, 2nd sentence "her has" should be "her case".

And that last sentence I'm not realizing is ambiguous. What I mean is: My concern is those cases where saying one doesn't have an inner child is a denial of a part of oneself.


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 16, 2008 11:22 am 
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as i posted elsewhere, we all have a inner child because we all were children.

we have each stage in us we have lived thru. if needs were met, each stage integrates into the next and we end up a integrated healthy adult.

when the needs arent met in any stage, it sticks there until they are. and cant be integrated until those needs are filled.

hence, inner child work. teenage work. etc.

but unless one was created grown, everyone has a inner child.

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