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 Post subject: Trying To Shake The "Uneasiness"
PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 9:55 am 
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I have been doing fairly well in not blowing up and over-reacting to things, generally. I do have episodes where I blow things out of proportion, but then I soon realize that I was being ridiculous and I am able to work it out in my head some.
What I am dealing with right now is letting go of something always having to be wrong. When things are going right and there is nothing to complain about, I feel "uneasy", for lack of a better word for it. I feel this overwhelming sense that something is not right and i am just not seeing it,so i start creating problems by picking fights and overanalyzing little things. Reading stuff into actions and words that aren't there.
Why can't I just be happy? Why do I need that constant conflict and drama? It is like I don't want the conflict but I can't seem to live without it...


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 10:07 am 
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Could it be that feeling okay with nothing to complain about is not comfortable yet? You are used to the other way of feeling so it feels normal to you. Feeling good doesn't feel normal, so you are uneasy. Maybe you feel it's not going to last, and that's why you feel uneasy? Or, is it the way I feel about therapy. Complaining and friction are more exciting, and intense, so you feel better than feeling okay? Or do you like the attention you get by causing drama, and feel like you'll be invisible if things are going right?

Those are some of the ways I feel, so maybe something fits for you. I don't have an answer, but the first step is being aware of what you are doing. Then you can go from there.


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PostPosted: Fri Jan 25, 2008 12:13 pm 
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Don't know about you, but I spent YEARS riding the roller coaster of drama. I got used to it. The human body and mind are very adaptable, and we can acclimate to almost anything if we practice!

All that drama and conflict give us a reaction. Fight or Flight! the adrenaline kicks in and we swing back and forth from crisis to crisis. It isn't necessarily FUN, but there is a physical rush that our bodies and minds get used to. When things calm down, that rush is gone and we may end up feeling very flat - but we aren't.

It's not that you NEED that level of drama as much as you haven't adapted to a quieter path yet. That takes time. Practice, just like anything else.

Ever been on a boat out on rough water? Those waves can make me feel kinda sick in the beginning, but I get used to them after a while. So used to them that when you set me back on dry land, I have trouble keeping my balance because my nerves are still keeping up with the waves! That's kinda how I feel about myself and drama. I got really used to it, and now that I'm reasonably stable, my nerves are still trying to slosh around.

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PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 8:26 pm 
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Thanks for all the thoughts, I think I am feeling a combo of all things mentioned!


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