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 Post subject: new here
PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 1:28 pm 
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I'm not sure where I'm supposed to post. I am finally coming to terms with the fact that I have BPD. As you all know, that's not easy! I have been in denial for a few years. My question is this: How do you all hold down a job and raise a family? I am very unstable- have been for a long time. I am always in trouble for not taking care of the things I need to- quitting jobs, not being consitent with my children, not showing up for things etc. I don't know how to get off the roller-coaster. I have problems with agoraphobia and there are days (sometimes weeks or months) where I just CAN'T leave the house. I am fequently suicidal. I am angry much of the time. I am scared all the time (of what I'm not sure). The list goes on and on. So my question is how do you all function? I have alienated most people from my life, and the few that are still here are sick of my "issues" and don't understand. I can't explain anything to them because I DON'T understand either. Death seems much easier...


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 27, 2008 2:48 pm 
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Welcome to BPDR, Delta. Surely the disease can feel overwhelming before we begin work. But here you will meet many who started recovery work from a place very similar to the one you find yourself in.

I encourage you to read old threads and posts that you find on subjects that interest you. And to learn to use the tools described here. In particular, the Five Steps, Ten Forms of Twisted Thinking, and the Four Agreements. Expect to do a lot of study and reading at first to build a strong foundation for future work.

You didn't mention what experience you have with therapy, CBT and DBT. They are all described in the resources here, but it would help to know of your experiences with those. DBT has proven to be particularly effective in the early acute stages of BPD similar to those you describe.

So welcome aboard. You will find many who are eager to both help and learn from you. It takes time, effort, risk and tears, but getting to a healthy happy life is possible for those who invest in the necessary work.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 1:49 am 
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Thanks for your post. I am feeling a little overwhelmed by all this. Can anyone offer any advice on maintaining just the basic aspects of your life while you are trying to get better. I am a single Mom and having a hard time making myself go to work. Some days I do great, mostly I can't leave the house. I am burning bridges as I go. As I screw things up- the harder it gets to fix it. I feel like I cant focus on getting better because of the stress I'm under. What do I do?


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:00 am 
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Do you have a therapist or somebody else in your life to support you?

Been assessed by a p-doc to see if meds could help? Had some CBT for the panic symptoms?

No wonder you're feeling overwhelmed. It's a lot to deal with, and from what you're saying, it sounds like you need both support and practical tools to start to address some of the things that you want to change.

Sounds like you could do with some help with goal setting and staying focused on what needs to get done - stuff that goes out the window for all of us when we're stressed, but that can feel perpetually out of control when BPD is.

There are some really good tools here - the sorts of things you need to learn to help you learn more constructive approaches to, say, going to work :) and even though I've never done it, I know that DBT is supposed to be very good at teaching the sorts of skills you need to get your emotional life under control enough that it doesn't run amok through the rest of your life.

It's a lot to deal with - you'll need to start with one thing at a time. But there are tons of people here who've been there, and who have gotten through it, one step at a time.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 2:09 am 
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Hi.
What is CBT? I am new to all this and not sure what the abreviations are. I do see a therapist every other week- thats all I can afford. This therapist is new to me but so far it seems like he might be able to help. Do you know if anyone with BPD has gotten temporary disability to help while they focus on recovery?


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 28, 2008 11:51 am 
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CBT is cognitive behavioral therapy. It teaches us to change the behaviors in our lives that are causing us distress. DBT is dialectical behavioral therapy. That's a form of CBT developed specifically for BPD.

It sounds as though you want to "fix" what's wrong, and quickly. I know I did when I first discovered BPD. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way. There is no "do this and things will be easier" advice anyone can give. You are starting with therapy, which is great! Have you taken a look at the Four Agreements and Twisted Thinking like IBF suggested? Those are wonderful tools to help ground yourself when things start to spin up.

I know there are some folks here on disability. I, unfortunately, don't have any experience as I've somehow been able to keep working. Yeah, they were serial jobs (two years at the most), but I've plugged along. I don't have kids, though. I don't have agoraphobia. It sounds as though you could really use the time to work on getting healthy. I hope someone with more experience in disability will post.

Glad you're here, Delta!

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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. -- Goethe


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