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I've been using the words "obsession" and "addiction" to describe my attachment to my T. But what exactly is obsession and what is the cure for it? I know there are meds for OCD, but is "obsession" a technical diagnosis with a treatment? I've been using it in a generic way; no T ever told me I had an obsession. I don't even know if obsession is part of the BPD spectrum.

In my recent thread, Ellen wrote: "obsessing isn't just thinking a lot about someone. It's thinking about them in an unhealthy, clingy way." I know that many of us are clingy in our relationships; does that make us obsessive?

The definition doesn't matter as much as what to do about it, though. I don't think any of my Ts have given me an effective solution for my obsessing. My Ts have said I "spin my wheels" about things. I'm not sure if that's obsessing. I have trouble making decisions, so I do often "obsess" about what to do in any circumstance, not just about people.

So, how do you stop obsessing? Maybe there isn't a solution. I know that my T can't meet my needs, and I accept that I can't be her baby, and that therapy is going to end. So, having that urge, to use a different word than obsession, to have something in her writing, is something I couldn't control. Does that make it an obsession? It was important to me, so I called her. But now I'm still thinking about it. I'm not sure it's unhealthy. I'm not paralyzed; I'm going about my life. So am I still obsessing?

Now suppose this is a real problem, and that it is called "obsessing." What tools are useful to stop it or do you just have to use Radical Acceptance to control it? I'm not sure how to apply The Five Steps or Untwisting to obsessing. Comments?