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I'm thinking it may be worthwhile to have a discussion about role models. The value of having them, and anything else related that comes up. I know someone who's been a good role model for me, and I know Ash has mentioned role model's being helpful.

For me, this one person has been a really good role model for dealing with emotions. Not that I can see what he does intenally. But, just, his having emotions, accepting them, freely talking about them. An example that feelings are okay, no big deal, not a problem. And that's been so valuable to me. Yes, learning tools for dealing with feelings has been very helpful, as has been getting to know myself. But having a good example also has been quite valuable. It seems like that idea of people who are good examples for us doesn't get talked about much.

Now, I don't think the purpose of this message board is to be examples for each other. Those who are stuggling with dealing with stuff are encouraged to post and get feedback. Seems to me some people have at times expressed disappointment because they are looking for roll models and seeing posts from people stuggling. But those posts are why we are here.

However, I do think that among the things that happens here is us being an example for each other. And that when we share how we did something well, we not only celebrate our own success, but we are an example for someone else.

Yes, I think some of us, by virtue of writing about our successes in RL, can unwittingly become role models. That is okay. We learn from each other. We watch each other deal with certain situations in RL and benefit from each other's experience.

I wouldn't say that anyone here is necessarily my role model. As I said, if someone here accomplishes something that I think might help me, I might use them as an example for my own situation and how to deal with it.

If I think of role models in particular, I'd say that my first T was who I thought of as being a role model. She taught me a lot and I wanted to be like her. Of course i don't think I ever accomplished that, but I did think of her a lot and how she might react to certain situations. But over the years, as I've seen her less and less, her being a role model for me sort of went away. As of this point I have no role models. Of course I think at this point I am stuck so much in my own shit that I can't see past having anyone as a role model. When I do get in certain situations I usually try to think of what my T might say about that. That sort of helps me through it, but he's not a role model for me.

So no, I'd say I don't have a role model. I don't see anyone I would want to pattern my life after. But I can learn from people and use their experience to help me in various situations.

Role model is perhaps an inprecise term for what I'm thinking of. I'm not thinking of someone to pattern one's life after. Just someone who is a strong example in some particular area, and who one chooses to have as an example in that area.

The person I mentioned, I don't want to pattern my life after him. But he really truly has been and is a good example for dealing with emotions. Not that I try to copy him. But I learn from his example.