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 Post subject: I got my note today
PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:02 pm 
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My T wrote it on a note pad when I came in. It's short, and really just an affirmation. But she signed it "Love" and that means so much to me. I'm not obsessing; it's just so, so nice because I can now accept her "love" in the spirit in which it's given.

She talked about how anxious I was on the phone, and how I made up my mind what she was going to feel or decide instead of just asking. She told me by doing that, I put the control of my anxiety on someone else and it's unsafe for me because I then feel powerless. Instead, I need to think what I'd do if she had said "no". I realized that if she had said no, it was because she didn't think giving me a note would have helped me. Like she won't give me a hug for that reason. She said everything she does is for ME. I can comfort myself by telling myself that what happens is "supposed to happen" instead of getting so anxious about it. In this case with the note, she told me she could give it to me now because I'm better than I was a few years ago.

So, I read some of my list of positives I've gained from therapy. She wanted a copy, which I had with me in case I couldn't talk much because of my cough! She said the list is for me; I shouldn't have to tell it to her. I OWN the moments in my memory.

Next month will be my last regular session. My t said it's bittersweet, but I will be all right. It's not like when I quit my first T because I'm much healthier now. Even if I haven't completely "solved" my attachment problem to her, I'm so much better. She's very pleased with my progress! So am I.


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:19 pm 
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That's great, Wondering. It sounds like you're doing really well with all this.

Is it a month til your next session, and then that's it?

It's true that you're not the same person you were - and that has to count for a lot.

I'm sorry, I'm sort of all out of words...but I just wanted to let you know I saw this and I think you're doing great


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PostPosted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 11:24 pm 
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good news to share, wondering. ty for the good stuff. i knew you could do it!

my T sent out notes to her patients and added a personal note to each when she quit her practice before she died. it means the world to me.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 6:59 am 
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They sound like great things to have for self comforting moments Wondering. You going to put the piece of paper and the list of positives somewhere safe to pull out when you could do with them?

Sounds like you are doing well with this.

I love this!

Quote:
She's very pleased with my progress! So am I.


Especially the last bit.

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 7:19 am 
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Good Job Wondering, I'm happy for you. That sounded like a good session and I think you are going to do great!


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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 8:58 am 
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Wondering~

You have come a long way from where you started. You are doing well. Keep up the good work!

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PostPosted: Fri Feb 22, 2008 10:10 am 
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I'm so happy for you Wondering! You've really come a long way! You have a lot to be proud of!!!!! :thumbsup

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 11:18 pm 
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Susanna: Thank you for responding. Yes, I will have one more regular session. I have some things going on, so I haven't scheduled it yet, but I think it will be at the end of March.

Thanks, Jody. I'm glad your T sent you a personal note. Yes, it means a lot to me.

Tracy: Thank you. Right now I have the note on my dresser and every time I read it, I cry. Not because I'm sad or happy, but because it's emotional for me.

Thanks, GH, BG, and C2L.

I feel sad when I think about my upcoming last session. I've considered not going back, since my session this week was satisfying, but I probably need to say "goodbye" in person. I wish I could allow myself to cry at that session, but as usual, that will probably happen the minute I leave, not when I'm in my session. I just can't cry when anyone sees me. I know it's not necessary, but crying would be the correct expression of my feelings. It's easy to cry about it at home, though. Like my T said, ending is bittersweet.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:52 am 
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Wondering - You've come a long way. Glad you got your note. :)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 12:59 pm 
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I'm glad you got your note. And I'm glad that your session was satisfying to you.

By all means, go to that last session. I've run away from an awful lot of "good-bye"s and most of them have left me with some little hole, something unfinished. Some dim spot on my memory of something I didn't do. Whether it's as good as this session? I can't say...but you will move forward knowing that you "finished" this (and didn't hide or run away).

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PostPosted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:21 pm 
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I'm glad you got your note, Wondering. It can be so important to the next part of your recovery.

I got a lovely Christmas card from my T last year. Simple, elegant, unassuming. Inside was a very personal and very thoughtful handwritten note. It's the only card I got.

I love my T. I love who she is and the work we did together and I love the results. And I love that although I do miss her sometimes, as anyone would miss a dear friend, I'm glad I don't have to see her anymore.


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