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Just thought I'd let you guys know that I think my interview went really well. And I haven't engaged in any of the aforementioned behavior. It's still very much an option in my mind, though, and I am keeping previously scheduled "appointments," but if I get this job, I will quit for good. Thanks again for all the kind words and advice.

That is so great, warp'd...!
I hope we hear word when you get word about it - either way.


~ jr

have you looked for a group help on getting out of hooking? it is so addictive, and many larger towns have groups to help on this.

just a idea.

jody, no I have never heard of group help on this kind of behavior. What do they talk about/do in the groups? Is it like DBT? I highly doubt there's one where I live. It'll probably just make me feel worse anyway. not that there's much of a difference, but I don't consider what I do "hooking"; escorting is a bit different from working the streets, as I can imagine.

I am a bit worried that I haven't needed to get wasted before seeing my clients anymore. I don't even know why I do this, and I can see that there's very much an addiction component to it, as this is about the 4th or 5th time I've found myself again in this industry in the past 2-3 years (the first time I worked in a brothel, and my therapist suggested I try stripping instead; went in and out of stripping a couple of times, then tried escorting; quit a couple of times, now I'm in it again). There doesn't seem to be any patterns I can see, or any specific reasons for why I keep coming back to profiting from my body. And I do enjoy the time I spend with most of my clients, it IS a pleasurable experience-physically and psychologically. If only I could erase the memory of it afterwards so I wouldn't ever think about it while with my bf or elsewhere. This behavior could spiral out of control very soon. God I just hope I get that job. The more I review the interview in my head, the worse I feel about it. I don't feel that I deserve to work with children. I can't be a mother and a whore simultaneously.

i had a very close friend who didnt work the corner either, but she had some rich , old, men who loved a 16 yr old.

use whatever adjective you want..lol. to me she is my pal with issues.

it is some type of addiction. and a lot of police agencies, and shelters, offer these groups to help people break the cycle. it is hard to go to less money, harder work..and one cant pretend either. it was very hard for her to go straight. to stop the pills, to not have the adulation she got from those guys.

how the groups work, i dont know. it is basically the same they all work, on self esteem, on ourselves, and psychology 101.

the trouble is , it does spiral very soon. its self destructive, in the long run. and i would think one would need help to stop it.

i would bet in a lot of bigger cities for sure, these groups exist. law enforcement and homeless, or DV shelters, have them. many churches have them. try asking at soup kitchens, police depts, shelters.