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 Post subject: animal obsession?
PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 4:31 pm 
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I am curious to know if anyone else here compulsively buys or brings home animals...the obsession has caused A LOT of problems for me and yet I can't seem to stop. Any comments/help?


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:28 pm 
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My husband and I have two rabbits, two guinea pigs and a hamster, if that answers your question. When one of our guinea pigs died last year, my husband didn't want to get another, but I had to.

I also want to get some cats, so no, you are not the only one.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 5:34 pm 
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Let me clarify a little better and please no harsh critisism....I know its not "normal". I have bought or brought home 40+ animals (mostly dogs) in the last cpl of years. I usually have to find a home for most because I can't afford to care for them properly. I have noticed that I start "searching" for an animal when I am really depressed and anxious.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 7:32 pm 
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Delta, if you do a google search on "animal hoarding", you'll find a lot of articles on the subject. 40 dogs is a bit too much. Heck, I've got four cats and I keep wanting more, but I know the cats I have already wouldn't be happy, my home would be a mess, and my husband would be VERY unhappy. For me, it's the feeling as though I'm the only one who can help these poor little animals.

Do you have a therapist? Have you discussed this with a professional?

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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 9:31 pm 
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I am still waiting to see the Pdoc...I have 3 weeks left until my appt. They are hard to get an appt with here unless you have insurance. I haven't discussed this before with a therapist. I think I'm afraid of what they will say, I don't know. I know that it is a huge part of why my xhusband left me.


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PostPosted: Sat Mar 01, 2008 9:57 pm 
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I just read an article about animal hoarding. I don't really fit the criteria- at least not right now. At one time I did have 20+ dogs in my home as I thought I wanted to be a "breeder" but I really think now that it was just an excuse to get more dogs and not have my then husband kill me. I only have 2-3 at a time now (thats all I'm allowed where I live) but the problem is that I constantly want another one. So the really bad thing is that I will find a home for one so that I can get another. Then I feel content for a few months, and then the cycle starts all over. I don't know why I'm doing this and I KNOW I need to STOP!


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 12:49 am 
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my H does this. i dont understand it, but he talks to them and treats them like i would people. yet he cant connect with people and indeed, basically hates most of them, including me most days.

i have told him when these die, there will be no more than 2 at the most again. i dont care what fit he throws, and he will throw a big one (he can attempt suicide if he thinks it helps), i am overwhelmed with animals. we cant afford them, he wont housebreak them, i have 6 litter boxes now..

somedays i just cant begin to tend to them as they should be. at times we have 3 or 4 on meds or something (of course he wont medicate them, i have to)

why this is? i will watch this thread to see any views that may help me also, gain insight on this.

part of his is his being abandoned so much as a child. were you? i think he relates somehow to them going to the pound or something. not sure. i think he projects his feelings onto them as they are safer than people.

one time he had 18 cats outside, wild as hell and sick. i finally had to get animal control to trap and euthanize them.

i think it must be a fill some need inside....perhaps. and i love animals, dont get me wrong. but not this many, not all at once, and not under me all the time. :)

i wish you the best...

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:49 am 
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I know animal hoarders (several of them actually) and their motives vary.

1 reason is animals give love unconditionally. It doesn't matter who you are, or how you behave, the animal doesn't care about that. Even an animal that is neglected still loves its owners. They give a kind of love that human children deserve to get from their parents, but when they miss out on that and are not getting it from humans around them now as adults, they turn to animals for this comfort.

2. Another reason is fear of loss/abandonment. They see a stranded animal and can't bear to see it humanely be put down or left, so they end up with a house full of strayed animals. (most probably related to - a projection of - ones own abandonment issues.)


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:50 am 
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ps delta,

i did a bit of a search on animal hoarding, and my H doesnt fit all the criteria. mainly, i suspect, because i live here also. lol. left to himself, i shudder to think how this house would look. or the animals. probably pretty nasty.

most seemed to link it to a OCD thing, but i dont know i agree with that. i think its a way to safely project what someone may not have gotten as a child. but animals are work. and expensive.

just some ideas..............i think counseling to delve into the whys is a good idea for anyone with this issue.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 2:43 am 
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Delta-Have you looked into fostering rescue dogs, as this may help you. Basically they will find animals who need looking after for a couple of months, either for socialisation, or because they have had an operation or something. But you look after one or two or so, for a couple of months, then when one goes back, they will get you another one who needs fostering.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 5:08 am 
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Location: Reality ~ It's a great place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there!
The number of animals I have is down right now (at one time my kids counted 200+) but this may give you something to compare to if it is helpful: 3 horses, 3 dogs, 2 cats, 2 rabbits, 2 ferrets, 2 guinea pigs, 9 chinchillas, 2 degus, 13 rats, 20+ gerbils (some are babies I will find homes for), 10+ dwarf hamsters (some are babies I will find homes for), 20+ mice (some fancy and some feeders), 10 cockatiels, 6 ring neck doves, 3 diamond doves, 8 parakeets, 6 zebra finches, 3 aquatic turtles, 1 aquatic newt, 1 aquatic frog, 20+ fish, 4 leopard geckos, 1 bearded dragon, 1 japalura, 1 ball python, and 1 corn snake. This is still 150+ animals that I take care of in addition to my two daughters and a husband. They can be expensive to feed and they definitely take a lot of my time, but I enjoy them (while my husband puts up with them). I have always had animals so I don't know what I would do without them. In the past I have raised exotics (including wolves, foxes, skunks, etc.), livestock, and poultry & waterfowl in addition to breeding small animals for pet stores. I am a sucker for unwanted or neglected animals needing a home so very few of my animals have come from a pet store.

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:27 am 
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This is a VERY disturbing thread for me because I used to travel around to different breeders and pet stores to protest against "Puppy Mills". I met a lot of "Pet Hoarders" and I do agree with Jody about the unconditional love and the abandonment issues.

I, myself, was a breeder and a member of the Professional Dog Show Circuit and I must say, although I have multiple animals, I have enough time and love for a couple but 150+ and 40+ animals??

I agree with Trinity, in that a therapist or your pdoc. is your best bet.

**I was quite upset to read the thread in which a member of BPDR had to bury dead animals due to neglect and sickness.**

Please seek some professional help and good luck on your journey. (I truly do understand and feel for you, delta!)
Blessings to you and your furry ones.
Steff


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 6:32 am 
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P.S. How can you find a place to live or rent? (if you don't own your home). I would think an over abundance of animals to be, not only unhealthy in a home, but really hard to hide from a landlord.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 9:00 am 
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Delta, that's good that you haven't let your desire for more animals overwhelm your actual ability. You know having more than you can handle wouldn't be good for you nor the animals. So, I guess now you want to learn how to make the desire for more go away? I can't tell you whether it will or not. But you're already on the right path by controlling that desire the best you can. Maybe you need to really figure out why you want to get more when you feel depressed.

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 1:49 pm 
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Thanks for all the replies. I think that I started this post as a way to "confess" because in my mind that is part of holding myself accountable. There was a period of about a year where I had so many dogs that my house, kids and life were neglected. I thought that I could handle it- but in the end I couldn't. My husband and kids were very upset with me and the house was trashed, carpets ruined etc. Well due to finacial reasons (probably related to how much I spent on animals) we moved in town with no acreredge (sp) and a smaller home. I kept it scaled down after that- I think I had 4 or less. Now that I'm divorced I don't have the finances to be as compulsive as I was. But it seems like as soon as I have a little extra money I do it again. I have no business spending money on pets as I can barely care for myself.
A little history: I did bring home stray animals from about age 5 on. My mother would let me keep them for a while and then after a few months they would "disapear" and she would claim she didn't know what happened to them. Years later she told me she gave them away or took them to the pound etc. But my desire- or more like a very strong NEED- has caused me to continue this into adulthood. I do think the unconditional love thing has something to do with it. But what bothers me the most is that I am willing to give up one to get another. I know thats not fair to the animal. And believe it or not I AM an animal lover and have spoke out on puppymills and done rescue. But what is it in me that makes me so damn selfish to keep buying more. I know I don't deserve them, but I need them and I want them. And I do take very good care of them.

When the urge hits me that I want or need another it is overwhelming. I will obsessively search for days on the internet for what I want at that moment. I will avoid people and phone calls during this time. The longer it takes the more anxious I get and more determined- almost like its for survival. When I finally get one that I want then I am thrilled. But within hours of having brought the puppy home I am distraught with guilt. I usualy spend several days trying to hide from family so they dont know what I did- again. Its almost like I was on a "high" while I was searching and then its all somewhat of a letdown when its all said and done. I am disgusted and ashamed.


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PostPosted: Sun Mar 02, 2008 2:07 pm 
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i wish i could help on the disgust and shame, but maybe that is telling you something?

i would dig deep and see if you can figure out what this means to you inside. rescuing a puppy in effect rescuing yourself maybe? a safe way to give love with no responsibilities they will want something back?

i love animals. however, i do know i cant save them all. the work the ones we have now is incredible and its a fraction of what numbers i read about. no way can someone tend to that many animals. no realistically. i cant keep up with mine. esp with no help from the H.

i still think counseling is needed to really work on this. im glad you are not giving in to the need. thats great, but in the long run it would help you to solve it , if you can.

vet bills are so outrageous now..food...time in general,. its ok to not be able to do everything. or to be perfect. or to save the world. save your corner. help with fund raising at your local shelter. help with education in your community. find ways to help without taking them in. altho i dont think helping is the issue...i think its within you somewhere. maybe from the mom who took the animals away from you with no explanation? and your redoing that over and over?

ALL kids,,well most , bring home strays. how cruel of her to simply take em with no lessons in why. explaining to you why we cant keep the critter. how good of you it was to help it. sad sigh* im sorry she did that to you. this could be the very reason you want to hoard now.

it isnt taking good care just for now, but imagine if all need shots? or parvo runs thru the house? can you pay that? one dog with parvo cost me 700$. what if all 4 had it? something contagious? shots, dental, and heartworm pills alone cost me several hundred a year. plus flea stuff.

my cats do not have their shots. i simply cant afford it. one year they all got calicie virus..i cant spell it sorry...and meds alone were unreal. we lost one cat anyways. weeks of dosing, worrying, it was bad. cats esp will get sick when overcrowded. they are more solitary animals.

just some ideas...hugs***

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