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I haven't had a drink in a week. I was drinking about six to twelve beers a week plus 2 to 4 mixed drinks. Doesn't seem like that much, but if I went two days without, I would start to feel cravings. It was affecting my life. I had less energy, and when I drink, I become obnoxious (all my bpd traits come out with less restraint). Plus, my bf hated it when I drank. He didn't want to put up with me keeping him awake all hours of the night and singing and acting generally obnoxious and selfish. So now I am quitting. I feel like screaming and running. I feel cravings. I feel very edgy. Add pms to that.

I drink to relieve anxiety. Now what am I going to do? I've thought about low doses of valium on occasion. Right now, someone could touch me and I would jump out of my chair lol. 8 weeks and the alcohol will be out of my system. I can't even use Scope anymore.

Mild to moderate psychological symptoms:

* Feeling of jumpiness or nervousness
* Feeling of shakiness
* Anxiety
* Irritability or easily excited
* Emotional volatility, rapid emotional changes
* Depression
* Fatigue
* Difficulty with thinking clearly
* Bad dreams

I have been having dreams this week. Never thought to relate that to withdrawal. I'm not having any major symptoms, just extreme jumpiness and cravings. I don't feel depressed. But I am touchy and am having more emotional changes than usual (quick to jump when provoked).

Grrr... I feel like screaming. Did I say that enough times?

I guess I posted this to see if anyone can relate.

Been through this in my own addiction. Hang in there. This WILL PASS. Try to just accept the feelings and know that they will be with you for a while.

Do you plan on remaining alcohol-free? If so, do you have a plan (support group, recovery program, whatever) for doing that?

jim

Thanks for your kind words, mobilene.

Yes, I do plan on remaining alcohol-free. I think I have drank enough in my 37 years lol.

I do not have a recovery program or support group. I do think I can do this on my own. I don't frequent bars or have any drinking friends, only friends who don't like me when I drink, so there isn't a lot of temptation around me, in fact, the pressure is coming from the other way. I think I will be able to recover strictly on support from bf and from my own will to do so, based on the rewards I will receive from doing so - health, more happiness, more energy. Or at least that's what I'm believing.... time will tell if my plan will work, I suppose. And if I can't, I guess I'll seek help in doing so. I'm hoping I won't need it.

Aqua -
Definitely check out the website I posted about in Resource Room. They emphasize the importance of meditation. I find that when I start to feel a lot of anxiety about quitting, it really really helps to stop and "meditate" - focus my mind on something else for a while and go over the 13 statements of WFS.
I quit for much the same reason as you - a couple of weekends ago I got drunk and my "BPD traits came out" and I (a) made a fool of myself and (b) offended my boyfriend and his friends and the next day he said to me "I don't like how you act when you drink." I guess he had taken all the abuse he could take. Now I know that it is my responsibility to quit - not only so that I will feel better about myself but also so that others will respect and like me.
All the best!

Casey

Casey,

That is wonderful that you have taken ahold of your life and decided to make things happen for you. I checked out the site, and I really like their basis. It seems to be an alcohol recovery program with an emphasis on self-esteem growth, physical health, and personal responsibility - more of a wholeness approach. I really like it. Good luck to you in your recovery!

http://www.womenforsobriety.org./

Here's a link to their Acceptance Program - which I think embodies statements a lot of people could live by, not just alcoholics.

In fact, I'm going to copy them here for everyone to view easily:

1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.

I now take charge of my life. I accept the responsibility.

2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.

My first conscious act must be to remove negativity from my life.

3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.

Happiness is created, not waited for.

4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.

I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.

5. I am what I think.

I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.

6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.

Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.

7. Love can change the course of my world.

Caring becomes all important.

8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.

Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

9. The past is gone forever.

No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.

10. All love given returns.

I will learn to know that others love me.

11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.

I treasure all moments of my new life.

12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.

This is what I am and I shall know it always.

13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.

I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.

I bolded the ones that really stuck out as things that have become important to me lately. Hehe. I think I'm trying to distract myself from the physical annoyances. Strangely enough, coffee seems to calm me down. I thought it was the other way around.... I hope I'm not addicted to coffee too lol.

I tried to quit many, many times and the only thing that's worked for me has been AA. I still go to 4 or 5 meetings a week, have a sponsor, and continue to work the steps. My life is so much better than it was 3 and a half years ago. It's the only way I was able to quit and working the steps has really produced a positive change in my life.

EXACTLY! I specifically did not want to do AA because of the belief in a "higher power" and so I did some research online and found WFS and I love that it (a) focuses specifically on women's needs and (b) can be used for recovery from any problem related to low self-esteem - not just drinking!

Another AA success story. Congrats on your achievement!

Thanks for sharing. I love hearing success stories.

I was put off and stayed away for decades because of discomfort about the "higher power" thing.

Then I realized the HP could be within me. And after considerable work, unrelated to 12 Step models, I concluded that my HP is "Love". My pal, who is also my XW's Pastor, is very comfortable with my take on this and has remarked that it's closer to Teacher's take than most he's heard from Scripture chanters.

Now I do some online CoDA meetings each week and feel very comfortable talking about my HP and accepting others who see it differently. I meditate my way through while listening intently without judging. Just listening for constructive triggers. The number of meetings where I have not gleaned at least one powerful morsel of personal insight or inspiration I can count on one hand.

Hi Aqua,

I wanted to congratulate you on reaching this decision, was one of the best I ever made as regards to my recovery, and also one of the hardest to come to recognise and work through. I will have made three years apart from the occassional reaffirming trip to insanity in June.

I didn't take the AA route either for very simialar reasons to the ones you described yourself. Was one of the biggest applications I have ever made of using DBT/ CBT tools. It gave me lots of practice with them and really showed me how effective they can be in practice. Proved to me what personal strength and will power can do.

Combined with your other thread in healthy habits looks like you are looking to make some very positive lifestyle changes. Happy to provide you with a cheering section.

Good luck Aqua that site look fantastic btw.

I'm proud of you for making the decision to quit the drink. I have no experience with this, but wanted to wish you all the best.

Looks like some people here care about you and your success. Add me to the list. I know what a tough change this can be. I'm impressed at your courage and not at all surprised about your determination.

I add my congratulations too. I don't have experience with this but wanted to give you the "thumbs-up"!!!! :thumbsup

ibf - that is an interesting exercise in patience and control. I'm not so sure if I'm equipped to handle that yet. heh. And that's a great way to see the positive in AA, to transform the ideas to meet your needs, and overcome seeing the negatives. Not throwing the baby out with the bathwater....

Tracy - thank you so much for the congratulations. I will also be using the tools a lot in order to overcome. I've already seen some transformation within.... this will further test me. I hope I can hold up as well as you. Yes, I am making some changes. I've got a schedule made up I'm planning to carry forth, after I feel as if I have conquered the alcohol. Should be another week probably before the cravings are gone.

Amanda - thanks for the wishes.

The support really means a lot to me, girls and guys - more than I can say right now. Consider it a good deed done.

It is a battle you will fight every day. My doctor prescribed Valium but I was drinking and taking the Valium, which I guess can be a deadly combination so she won't prescribe it anymore.

Being responsible for raising my kids is what keeps me sober. I allow myself to binge from time to time as long as I don't make a lifestyle of drinking again. I still have a hard time grasping the "you can never drink" concept, which is what has kept me out of AA and other support groups. I also found that the more I thought about not drinking, the more I wanted to drink so I try not to think about it by not giving into the temptation when the cravings come up. I also have a rule to not allow alcohol in my home (a rule my foster mother initially established when I lived in her home) and that makes it a bit harder to be a drunk. Being too poor to afford alcohol (I used to have a $20 a day habit) also helps!

Aqua~

Just wanted to let you know that I think what you are doing is great. :thumbsup

Congratulations on taking this important step and going on this journey to even more recovery and healthy, happy living, ((Aqua))!

With admiration,

Candle

Hi Aqua, Just noticed this thread again and was wondering how the "quitting drinking" is going for you?

Good so far, Amanda. Thanks for asking.

I still have not had a drink, although I thought about it last night. I just thought about all the things I had to lose by drinking. I do find it a fun social activity, but I don't want to lose the energy and general health. I'm planning on starting an exercise regimen.

It's been about 3 weeks now. Can't say it has been easy, especially on weekends.

Those could be three of the toughest weeks you'll ever live. Way to go, lady! You seem stronger and healthier than ever.

So proud of you Aqua. Thanks for the update. :thumbsup

Awesome, Aqua! :thumbsup

Great work, Aqua. Keep it up!

Thanks, guys!