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Hi

I haven't been on this forum for months, but once again I find myself lost. My therapy finished about 3 mths ago, not by my choice, just the British NHS system. An abrupt end to therapy has left me lost as I know there is still lots of work to do. I find it hard to speak to my GP and all I want is to see my therapist. I feel there is no help any more and no where to turn. Do I really have to completely crack before anyone listens? I just dont know where to go from here. Any advice would be really usefull!

Thanks
Jess

Oh I hear you Jess I really do, the NHS just sucks at times!

Have you tried seeing your GP at least to say you aren't happy that the amount of therapy was enough? Are you on any meds at all?

I know I took the go pay for my own therapy option in the end, but I know it is expensive. Would that be an option for you?

I learned a lot being here at bpdr and working with the CBT tools available here. I also did an online DBT course, just to get my day to day life functioning as well as I could. I have posted a lot here in the last couple of years and it has really helped me as things have come up.

Now that life is more functioning day to day I can afford to pay for psychotherapy now I am working.

Thanks Tracy.

I am seeing my GP next week but I find it very hard to say or explain what the hell I am thinking. I go and say I am fine and that leaves me feeling even more angry and annoyed. I totally feel as if I am in a viscious circle. Last night I drank too much and emiailed my therapist and said a lot of rubbish and now he will never want me back anyway. I shouldn't even have email address.

I could pay to see a therapist but I am so afraid to make the phone call never mind anything else. I dont think I can trust anyone else but my last T. I have just stopped taking prozac recently as I dont think it was helping. I am to see my GP about other meds but I know the only thing that will help is therapy. Did you like the first therapist you saw when you went private? I am so afraid I will hate them and it will be a complete waste of time and I'll feel more lonely than ever. How did you find the right T?

Thanks
Jess

Hi Jess

I was thinking last night there was a time when I couldn't tell my GP what was up with me. I had a psych nure once that said usually when a MH patient says fine what they mean to say is "Fuckin' in need." Shame GPs don't catch on to that one eh! Thing is they cant help what they dont know.

I remember going to my BP having written a brainstorm of exactly how I had been feeling and thinking for the last few weeks. I didn't tell him anything I just handed him the piece of paper. remember him reading it and saying he was going to refer me to Psych services at the hospital. Have you had such a referal before, Is that how you got the therapy?

I can relaye to the phone call thing also. When I chose mine it was from a great big list I pulled up on line, I was adamant it had to be an accredited therapist. I was also adamant I wanted to lead my own therapy and tried to find some one that would meet that need. I wrote myself list of questions before I made the calls and ticked them off on the list.

I like my therapist we did have a few weeks though where I really wasn't sure of her, but she has stuck it out with me, which I have appreciated.

I hear you on the making calls thing, something I used to struggle with very much. How would it be if you planned the call work out what you want to know, write a list of questions to ask first, interview the therapist? Remember they are therapists also, they should be pretty understanding of your anxiety of making the call.

unfortunately, not just the UK. congress here is trying to pass a law requiring insurance to pay equally for mental health. i hope they do.

but in society, you see it every day. someone shooting up a place or killing their kids...because no one listened and no one could pay for it.

yep...this is reality for now.

we must work on ourselves, and not look only to outside sources for healing.

hell, my daughter cracked and no one gave a shit even then. unless a mass murder is committed, then the news says oh, how awful! why did this happen? well, ya dumb fucks, it happened because no one in society does a freaking thing to help.

when will they wake up? who knows. if they wake up, they may have to look at their own demons, and they wont do that.

I used to want my T to "know" how I was feeling and what I wanted. And unless you've been with a T for a very long time, no one can read your mind. I found that you have to "bite the bullet" and put yourself out there - tell the doctor or therapist exactly how you're feeling and what you need. I would kind of dance around this, playing mind games, and it got me nowhere. I too write letters. I get home and write these long letters explaining this and that - just to get it all down. Then I present it to my T and we talk about it. But you gotta have the guts and the strength to present it to them - to tell them exactly how you feel and what's going on. I'm learning to do that. It took me a long time. I think part of it was learning to trust my T. I've been seeing him for 2 1/2 years and I'm just now at a place where I believe I can trust him 100%. We've had arguments and all sorts of conversations. But he's always been there for me - he hasn't thrown me out or given up on me. So that also makes it easier for me to open up to him. I know it's harder when you're first starting therapy. But believe me, you won't get what you need if you don't open your mouth. You gotta take the plunge!!!!

Jess, can you try talking to yourself in lieu of the therapist? Kind of like a role-play thing.



And just keep going from there. The therapist doesn't need to be there, per se. Does s/he?

Thanks all very much for responding... I have finally taken the plunge and been to see my GP, who was infact very helpfull and is going to phone T and also ref me back to mental health team. I just really hope it does happen as I am really fed up. I am sick of being let down!

Tracy- thanks for your help. I took your advice and wrote down how I felt and showed it to GP. I felt like an idiot but I did it and felt much better. Normally I just sit and say "i'm Fine" and get annoyed. if I dont get the help through NHS will do what you said and find an accredied therapist and write a list of questions...that makes sense!

Jodyisme- I hear what your saying. What does it take before help comes?I get really annoyed because I think other people just see me as someone who holds down a good jod, nice husband, house, car and thinks why does she need help. Really inside I just want to crack, but who really would know. I feel like Im screaming for help but noone can hear.

Bordergirl- thanks what you said. I totally get what your saying. I have spent the last 18 mths of therapy playing mind games and now I think I'm ready to bite the bullet and say what I mean! I just need the help there to support me but fingers crossed.

Ash- yes, I could try this but I have that many voices in my head I dont think i could cope with another. Sometimes it feels like my T is in my head but its me and I dont really understand whether what I think is roght or wrong. If I answer my own questions how do I know if my answers are right? Not sure if that makes sense?!

Thanks
Jess

hey jess,

i do hear you as i have been there with screaming and no one listening. i think the person who must listen is YOU. i agree with what Ash says, i do it a lot. tons, since my T died.

it is up to us..to do this work. no one else can. you seem to have a good T, now do the work. mine used to tell me, i was talking the talk, but not walking the walk. it hurts, but it must be done to heal.

dont wait and expect someone to come along to show you or help you do it. you can do it. and its ultimately up to us...

while you stay in counseling and work like hell, get some books and/or tapes and listen. read. take notes. DO the stuff suggested. i did, and it works.

((jess))