BPDRecovery.com: Forums

The accusations flying around in all directions here these days are not gonna help anyone get healthy. We know most all of us suffer from some degree of BPD or some other PD and that those ineffective behavior patterns get accentuated under stress. And there's a LOT of stress here now. Can we all just step back from this debate for 48 hours or so? And then try to get some resolution using all the tools we advocate using?

I dunno, I'm peaceful.

What debate?

I also agree. There seems to be a lot of "I" going on right now and not a lot of stepping into one another's shoes, respecting the other, or showing the other's thoughts and feelings the consideration they deserve. Everyone wants to be heard. The answer is not to point-the-finger. Also, a lot of mistrust, when in reality, nothing that goes on here can affect our real lives. So what if someone here gossips about me, I moved past that, and now I don't care anymore. It's just not worth the fight.

To the CL/SCL team: Perhaps there is some truth to the points being brought up. Instead of blaming the other, do some reviewing, and perhaps make changes in yourself and the way you communicate, or the system. I think when people make suggestions or find problems, to simply tell them they are wrong is not the answer. There must be consideration of other's thoughts and a respect that they deserve to give their input on how things are run. This is a democracy. To the members: Perhaps step in the shoes of the CL/SCL team. Their job isn't easy. What if people were pointing-the-finger at you the way you are to them, or throwing accusations? There are better ways to communicate, and the ways some of you are choosing to communicate will not get things done or change minds, they will only result in pointing-the-finger back or being reprimanded.

To All: Sometimes it's necessary to give up one's perspective or opinions in order to achieve what's best for the whole. I find the bickering amongst the "sides", as in, "My opinion is....." and "My perspective is....." to be rather selfishly-driven and done in order to be heard at this point. Where is the work being done in order to solve the problems and make things fair and considerate for the whole? There is obviously a lack of effective communications going on on both sides, but to see ideas in the words one might benefit from listening to is the key. Sometimes it isn't about telling the other why they are wrong in the way they are communicating and showing them their borderline methods, but in seeing that there IS some truth in what they are saying, and using their truth to make oneself better.

There IS one thing that is lacking in a lot of communications around here that I can see and have been guilty of myself in the past... and that is showing one another mutual respect, regardless of opinion of the other, and regardless of them showing you the same.

Hi Aqua,



I'm not sure I've seen where suggestions have been offered to the S/CL team in this latest issue. I also don't see where we've told anyone what they say or think is wrong. If I've missed that, please show me because you're right, those things are important.