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So tonight I reached out to someone I hadn't connected with in a while. Nothing major, just a quick hello and hope you're well type of thing. This person wrote back to say that they appreciate me. I didn't send my note in order to receive recognition, but that unexpected affirmation of existence can really make a person smile.

I've been incredibly fortunate over the last 10 days. Many things have fallen into place that had me sitting on the edge of my seat. Not one big thing happened, just a lot of little things. I have to say, each time a little thing goes the right way, it feels great.

You all might think I'm off my nut, but there's a reason I'm posting.

Lately there has been some disruption in the community and I'd like to see things get back to a balance. I don't have a magic wand to erase the crap, but I thought I'd express that I too think things are off-kilter and I'd like to find the track that leads to happier and healthier living and get off the track that has damaged sections making it more difficult to reach the end of the line.

My step-daughter used to have a really difficult time in expressing positive things in her world. This was when she was newly dx'd w/BPD and BiP and she was still in the trial-and-error phase of meds. Trying times for anyone. There were nights I'd come home from work and she'd spend at least 2 hours ranting on and on about how life sucked and nothing good ever happened so why should she live. Scary times for me.

After a couple of days of her unloading her misery, I decided I'd had enough. I accepted she was incredibly unhappy and wanted to feel better but couldn't. So rather than allow her to wallow in it, I asked her to start a journal and at the beginning of each entry she had to list 3 things that made her happy. [This idea may have come from someone in this community when we were at ezboard. I can't take the credit, because I know someone, somewhere shared this idea with me, but for the life of me I cannot remember exactly who it was.] I told her I would not read her journal but that each day she had to share with me her three things.

There were some days when she listed more than three things. She'd list out that the cutest boy in school spoke to her, or that her best friend bought her a gift, or that she'd received a high mark on a school assignment. Often there were days when she couldn't find one thing that had happened during the day that made her happy. Those were her obviously bad days. I reached a point where I began to show her all the little positive things that happened because to me, no matter how shitty the day is, there is always at least three good things that happen.

One day her list of happiness consisted of the following: 1) my socks matched; 2) my underwear didn't have holes in it; 3) mama read my list.

Seriously folks, little things matter!

I challenge each of us to keep a list of our three positive things each day. We don't need to share them (unless you want to). But I think finding a bright spot in each day can help us move on the continuum of happiness.

My 3 for today:
1) I got to spend time with my family (I've been on business travel).
2) The person I reached out to tonight said they appreciated me.
3) One of my coworkers and I had lunch together at a nice restaurant.

i was taught that by my T. every day find something GOOD. revel in it. it can be anything. small or large. and it helps tremendously.

i relate to the daughter thing. you may not remember my daughter is bipolar and the last thing told us was schizophrenic tendencies or some such. (no idea what that means--she doesnt hear voices) she is med resistant and cant take anything. its a battle some days, i tell ya.

Nik hang in there. and watch it if she has babies. having kids set my daughter off badly. for a good 2 or 3 years each time..we are still in the middle of it with this baby who is now 20 months old. birth control pills did also.

1. it was a great, sunny day today outside. the sky was blue. gorgeous world we live on.
2. i watched one of my granddaughters do her gymnastic class and get a award for A/B honor roll yet again.
3. i watched my littlest grand run her chubby little legs in my back yard, busily feeding neighbor dogs the snacks she had. esp the dog bigger than her from next door. and she laughed each time they took one from her hand.

thanks for sharing this and reminding me to look for the good things.

1. In the midst of reading and thinking about BPDR drama and pain, I got at least five great belly laughs at work tonight.

2. While staring at 3-4,000 dribbling drooling baby photos, I found two little guys with eyeball tricks that cracked me up. How do they do that?

3. The sun was bright and the birds were LOUD on the deck this morning when I got my coffee.

4. I had a physical breakthrough tonight... I turned in a circle 10 times in each direction without using my cane and without falling down. Then.. TADA.. been wondering for two years if I could do this... I grabbed the wrong end of the cane and tried a golf swing... it was shabby, but good enough to take to the driving range.. and maybe to the golf course with my son-in-law.... and then, the biggie... I used it as a baseball bat... much better than the golf swing, and good enough to go to the batting cages. I might strike out, but I'll strike out swinging!!!! This was a huge deal.

I try to do this when I am feeling sorry for myself or depressed. One of the things I do to help myself feel better is to read books or watch movies about the Holocaust because I can't imagine anything worse than the way people were treated (legally) during that time. I have read books by Corrie Ten Boom and in one her sister insisted they be thankful for every little thing. Corrie humored her sister (who later died) but she refused to be thankful for the lice because she could not find anything positive about being eaten by lice day and night. That was until she realized that the fact that the prisoners were so infected with lice kept the guards at a distance and out of their barracks when they were holding forbidden religious services. Then she could genuinely be thankful for even the lice.

1. I made it through an asthma attack during rehearsal and was able to drive home safely to my daughters afterwards thankful for the time I have with them.

2. I was greeted by two tail-wagging dogs and one butt-wagging dog who manage to put themselves right in my way so I get to experience the joy of petting them in order to get past them on my way around the house.

3. I have a comfortable home to raise my kids and my animals in so that I would be happy to never leave if it weren't for all the other joyful things I experience outside of my home.

1. I bought 2 new pair of shoes that actually fit and did not hurt. And they're so pretty!!!!

2. The sun was shining today and the snow is melting!

3. My new wood floors are all laid down and look beautiful!!!!

:biggrin :biggrin :biggrin :biggrin :biggrin :biggrin

I'm on a self-development website called Tools to Life and it has a daily checklist. I'm up to day 70 (it's a 90 day course) and one of the to-do things we have is a grateful log. The first day we were assigned it, we had to write 10 things, then after that one per day.

Well, I decided to do 10 things a day and I did so for 50 days until I had 500. Funny thing, it NEVER was hard to think of 10 things, not one day was it hard. I would think of a category and list 10 of that type of thing. Like Nik's SD, some days it would be something mundane, other days it was something deep and meaningful.

It's surprising that if we pay attention to it, how much good there is out there (and in oursevles).

Denim - your thoughts about the Holocaust reminded me of 2 things - the book Man's Search for Meaning whose author was a psychotherapist who lived through Auschwitz. He wrote about how some inmates found reason for living in even those horrible circumstances:


The second relevant thing is something a young writer, Etty Hillesum, supposedly wrote on a scrap of paper she threw from the back of a truck she knew was taking her and her friends to the gas chamber, "we left the camps singing..."

We could all have such courage in even the light of the mundane day.

I am grateful that:
1. I have my parents in my life still.
2. I have a strong inner spirit.
3. It's a gorgeous day and even tho I have to go to work in about 20 minutes, I get to drive over a 3 mile bridge over a beautiful expanse of water, with untold types of wonderful marine animals down below (a manatee was spotted in the bay not to long ago, and even though I think they're ugly, it's still cool!)

Leave your home singing...

I remember this!

1. Despite dire warnings from the IT guy in Phoenix and the tech-weenie in my own department, my laptop's hard drive wasn't dying and I got a new mouse, keyboard & docking station out of the deal!

2. My meds are on their way. :luck that they show up by the end of the week.

3. Each day that has passed has allowed my body to acclimate a little more to the whole "spring forward" concept. I was able to drag myself out of bed a little faster today than I did yesterday. This in turn means I've been a bit more focused and productive at work, which is a good thing. Only 1.5 more days to get through!

Let me jump in on this...been feeling down on myself and having a hard time staying motivated to make positive changes...SO:

1. I got a good work out in this morning.
2. I did not buy more candy which would have tempted me to eat it.
3. I got my "motivational poster" out of the closet and plan on hanging it on the wall tonight - it shows my previous successes in Weight Watchers and I am trying to get back into the spirit of Weight Watchers.

1. I did a good workout today, and really pushed myself.
2. I slept in.
3. I played a lot with my favorite cat. (Yes, I play favorites...)

Today:

1. My blood pressure was normal at the doctor's office. Sometimes it's too high.

2. A friend gave me a really nice "friendship" card. It was unexpected.

3. It was sunny and the snow is almost all melted.

Can we do this every day? Maybe in a separate forum? A lot of things went wrong today, but it helped me to find 3 good things to say!

Nice thread, Nik. I like.....


1) I talked to a new friend today that I really connect with, and like.
2) I cleaned today, I am getting more disciplined with my cleaning schedule.
3) I was in a good mood most of the day, I was able to keep my mood cheery.

1. There are many people here who I truly enjoy visiting and working with and learning from. I encountered more than six today.

2. I took a half empty glass, turned it around on the table, and damn if it wasn't half full.

3. I walked away from the camp singing. (Wooly Bully)

Good things for me this morning:

1) I pictured IBF singing Wooly Bully!

2) I am getting a new roof as we speak

3) The sun is going to shine today!!!!

4) I am getting new lenses in my glasses - I'll be able to see again!!!!

:groove :disco :elephant :calvin :hyper :hobbes

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