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 Post subject: Question
PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 10:35 am 
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When my T was upset with me he told me that there was other T's that he could send me to and that he was sure thinking about it because of the many emails that I send him and that my insurance would pay for it. He said that he was being patient with me and giving me another chance. I see him every other week which is okay. I would feel better if I could at least email him once during the week that I don't have to see him as this always made me feel better. It makes me feel all hurt inside because I cannot email him as he only wants me to email him about treatment and meds. He said this is limits and boundaries that I must learn. Does anyone else have this same problem or can relate to it? I feel like he is trying to rid of me.

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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 11:25 am 
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I can think of a handful of people here who've gone through this very thing with their own therapists. You're not alone.

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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Mon Apr 28, 2008 12:16 pm 
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Would it be possible for you to see him every week instead of every other week? That would certainly help cut down on the e-mails.

As I told you before, my T told me I had to stop e-mailing him altogether. It wasn't that I was e-mailing him too much - it was that his office felt the site wasn't secure. Nevertheless, I have to get by without e-mailing him. If there is an emergency, I can leave him a phone message.

Since your T told you he might want you to see another T if you don't stop e-mailing him, can you possibly cut back on your e-mails like he wants? Personally, I'd rather stop e-mailing my T and see him than have him drop me because I e-mail him too much. If you're not e-mailing him about therapy, what are you e-mailing him about? T's don't have a lot of time and certainly don't have time to read personal things that don't pertain to therapy. Can you see this from his point-of-view?

If it were me, I would tell him that I'm going to stop e-mailing so much and that I want to continue seeing him.

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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Tue Apr 29, 2008 5:41 pm 
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I tend to be a client who is very needy and dependent on my T. he does not mind me emailing him and i guess I am the only one who emails him like I do. sometimes I journal things and send it in an email. Most of the time he is cool with it and we talk about the stuff in the emails at the next session. I see him twice a week every week. but a few times, when he had some personal stuff going on I guess, he didnt' respond so nicely and reacted out of human behavior. that doesnt' make it right but he too had threatened that there are tons of therapists out there etc, but in my case he told me no one would take someone like me who is do dependent. and I had lost insurance.

me and my T got through it really well and I try hard not to be so dependent. my T is in private practice so he has to be a bit more available to clients so we can page him at night and stuff if we have to but its only for urgent stuff when the crisis people can't help. anyway, it hurt me really bad but i also just realized something a week or so ago. when my T says "Roo, call/email me if you need me" I rarely call or email. I am backwards i guess. when he doesnt' say that, I feel like he might abandon me and I have to keep close contact with him. I fear that he will get rid of me.

now like I asked him to say that phrase to me yesterday and he did. I did not call at all after session, at night (I call his voice mail at night) and have not emailed him since the weekend. for me, emailing and leaving voice mails on my T's office phone is the one true way that I feel heard and validated. I know he will listen or read what I have to say no matter when he is able to get to it. I am much better at not being so needy right now but I go through ups and downs. its like a cycle of something that happens inside me.

T's are awesome people when you find the right one, and they are only human too. maybe your T has something going on and is just a little bit stressed personally and it came out at you. maybe other clients don't email as much. I used to write 'books' as people would say....maybe like i am now? I just type really fast so I type about as fast as my thoughts come out. so sometimes what i email takes minutes to type but I don't realize how long it takes to read! LOL.

hope this is helpful.

Roo :wavey

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 Post subject: Re: Question
PostPosted: Thu May 01, 2008 5:23 pm 
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Joined: Sat Apr 26, 2008 11:41 pm
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Thanks for the help :)
He says he is too booked up for me to see him once a week that it has to be every other week. So far I have made it through the week without sending my T an email. It was hard at first but it feels good knowing that he will be pleased with me when I go in to see him next week. I am going to see if I am able to get his voicemail number so if I feel the need to listen to him I can. As I feel that would help out a lot then I would not have to feel I need him so much.

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