RainbowsAlways wrote:
Sometimes I think recovery for BPD is just a matter of growing up and accepting boundaries like other adults. But for me it is progress not perfection. When things go wrong I can't see it until its all over. It is like I go into a trance. I hate having BPD.[/img]
I couldn't have said it better myself. Thank you for putting it into such clear words. Recovery really
is a process of growing up and accepting boundaries like other adults.
At another board I used to go to - designed for those people involved in relationships with someone who has BPD rather than the person themself who has BPD - there was a common thread amongst the group ... that people with BPD were stunted and would act out as if __ years old. The age ranged from 2-10 but it was always somewhere well below adulthood.
Granted, this wasn't any reflection of the intelligence or intellect or earning capacity or functionality of the person with BPD. It was merely an observation that there were times when the BPD would come out in full force at the spectacle would be very similar to that of a child of __ years who hadn't yet learned some of life's basic 'rules.'
Do you find any comfort in this relization? If it's just a matter of growing up and learning to accept boundaries like other adults, it's obviously not rocket surgery. It's something millions if not billions of people have already figured out. There's not really a mystery to it. It's not something that costs a small fortune to obtain. It's not a secret society with a special handshake to achieve healthy, happy living. It's just moving into adulthood in that one last area of life.
Yeah, it's a pain in the tushy sometimes and it stinks that we're adults in age but not in all areas yet; that we're a little behind the curve in this one aspect and catching up sucks, no two ways about it.
But when you think about it, it took these other adults 20 years to get there and we're looking at recovery / getting there as well in 2 years or less. It's possible, trust me. It's hard work and takes a LOT of practice (cramming!) but it
can be done.