BPDRecovery.com: Forums

Respect is something people earn. If I can't show it, I don't think I deserve it. When I deserve it, I will automatically get it. It's as easy as that. In general, people seem to care a whole lot less about giving respect or caring for others when they aren't shown the same, and/or when they see someone acting up or hurting other people. There are people who refuse to go there - those people just draw boundaries and go away, because they've got better friends and better things to do. And until one knows exactly WHAT respect is and HOW to give it themselves, they can't demand it (well, they can try, but it won't do any good - people won't listen to anyone who doesn't have their head screwed on straight), and they probably won't get it either. These actions automatically put people in environments and places with other people who are like in actions, which means others who will give them what they are giving (which is acting-out, disrespect, and failure). When people show themselves to be disrespectful, they usually get the same in return.

That's how the system works. You can either choose to fight the system by getting angry and demanding respect (and still not getting it, because you don't deserve it), or you can work until you have what it takes inside and in action to deserve it. Fighting the system is just a waste of time. The system is based on actions and their consequences, it's natural, and it's unalterable.

There were times in my life where I was angry as hell at the way I was being treated. I realize now that I chose to be there in actions. I chose to live that lifestyle. I deserved what I was getting, because I didn't mind giving disrespect myself. Just because I had a mental disorder did not give me free reign to treat people badly. Unfortunately, I didn't know what respect was, a lot of times, but I sure as shit thought I knew it all.

Of course. You do not need to ask permission to ask me a question!

thanks for the kindness. i believe i will wait a bit till i calm down and is it ok if i pm it? its about my daughter, bipolar, lithium, etc. i would like your views as you have lived it also.

if you want it public, thats ok also. your call.

Seems like since you're the one with the question, you ought to choose how and where you ask it. Whatever you choose will be good with me. jim

ok. my reasoning was it might be some personal stuff i ask you and i will trust you have boundaries in place in case its something you dont want to share. its kinda up to you how much you discuss, i pretty much have my daughters stuff out there for all to see.

give me a few days please/ thanks.