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I just got an email today from a place that I submitted my resume for volunteering. They are interested and so now I just wait for them to reply back to my reply! I feel wanted now! I hope to be able to use my skills that I have too. I know I have great skills and they just seem to not get used and that makes me sad.

i wish it were a part time position that is paid but that's ok. i will work on getting my foot in the door. You never know what might come about right?

My anxiety is still up today. I just want to go back to bed and hide for the week. but I can't! I must fight this 'hiding' thing! Its not going to help me accomplish the things I want to accomplish, right? If I want to volunteer, I need to show myself and others that I can handle it. Hiding doesn't show how strong I am and how I can use my coping skills. I go to see my therapist in his new office in a few hours. Oh I am a nervous wreck. but I can do this. Done it before. i will be safe, I know it. sorry, just had to do a little bit of talking to myself right there.

Roo,

I remember going through something similar myself. Some time within the last two years. I remember the anxiety it brought up for me, even though it was something I really wanted to do. I think it was the desire to push through that fear that got me there on my first day in the end. Even though I knew I could handle the voluntary position I applied for and even though I was familiar with the work carried out by them. I still as you say wanted to crawl back under the covers. I have to say though the thrill of making it through that first day made all the anxiety worth it!

I wonder if it would help you some to look at what you have achieved thus far ie.. you have made the decision to try and get back to work, and seeing this a step in the direction of your goal have yourself gone out of your way to apply. Yay you! That takes some guts in itself! Keep up the self talk! Remember you have the skills they need!

Some 18 months after applying for my first voluntary position I now am in full time employment and about to take on a new role I will absolutely love that pays well. I gained a lot from voluntary work personally.

Hope you get the response you are wanting. Keep breathing!

Good work. Keep it up!

great news Roo! you go , girl.

thank you for the words of encouragement! This volunteer job sounds like it would be really great for me. I have a degree as a Medical Assitant but I have only done the medical office work (not clinical work) so I am great at the office setting.

anyway, this position for volunteering is on a Therapist Searchline. You take calls from people looking for a therapist in this agency and stuff. Take info and do data entry and follow up calls. I'd really be helping people I think! and I love filing! I love things that keep me organizing so it would be right up my alley.

I also just found out that something else is going to happen finally. One of my aunts needs some extra in-home care and she lives where I live. anyway, the referral is going through and I can work through an agency and take care of her 5 hours a week. very easy stuff. helped her before. so at least I will earn a tiny bit of money every week! yeah!!! My element is in the medical office but its ok. at least she is not a stranger and I love her to pieces! would do most anything to help her out!

I'm so glad these things are happening for you Roo! You seem to have a lot to offer and these settings sound perfect for your skills! Just keep working towards your goals!!!!

well something finally happened! I just got a call from the place i want to volunteer at! I go a week from thursday to meet them for an 'interview'! I am so excited!

I am kind of up and down this week. Inner child is having a hard time with my therapist moving still. I really like his office though. he did a good job. and I am making these little craft things for my T's friends (the other T's in the office) as a way to have the inner child be friendly to the new people. I won't be seeing them but they do seem nice and I have seen them in the other office for 2 years now so they aren't strangers to me but this seems different. I want to be friendly to them and not be all afraid of them. I still don't know them and am learning more about them just in the past week.

rather than posting the rest of this in the other theads, I will just put it here. I got through some anxiety around the bathroom too at my T's office. but the inner child is having a hard time and I think I dissociated last night from all the anxiety or something. Oh well. My T says not to push it and just let the child in me be, but show love and compassion rather than frustration. Frustration will only make it worse. I know that the little girl in me just wants to be taken care of and she's trying to get attention by acting out some. Its too embarrassing so I wont' get into what happened but my T says its ok and we are going to get through this. Just have to be gentle to the inner child. she is scared. and when she is scared, she wants to be loved and reassured that no one is leaving her.

this all makes sense with the trauma stuff and things like that. but I am just hanging in there this week. trying to not get too overwhelmed and trying to have a good week. the weather here is awesome! I want to enjoy it.

roo