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has anyone read or seen the DVD called The Secret by Rhonda Byrnes? My T suggested it. I also have the audio CDs. Oprah did a show that was on this week about healing our lives and stuff and this book was mentioned as well as some others.

anyway, my t keeps telling me I am not going to be healed until I can be at peace with certain things inside of myself first. I get it to a degree. but I don't think i am totally ready to be healed.

does that sound sick? I'm not being negative but for some reason, the space i am in right this very moment, i don't care if I get better. I am in an 'ok' space. not good, not bad. just AM.

my T thinks this is not good. but maybe next week it will be different. I flip flop so fast that I don't try to say when I am ready to be healed. I think It will just happen.

was just wondering what anyone else thought of the concept of The Secret. I think its good but I am not there yet in my life. I can't seem to get rid of the negative self talk and stuff. especially this week.

Roo

no, i havent.

i do relate to the afraid to be healed part. and if you read my post in the couch, it is kinda about this. acceptance of your own choice about your healing. how to cope. what my T told me.

i think we go at our pace, making sure we climb out of those ruts we find along the way. today, i may not want to be healed. tomorrow i might. back and forth, because this mess is so deep in us and so safe feeling sometimes. i mean how easy is it to blame everyone else and not own our own stuff? that is scary. seriously. how intense and endless is this learning? every day, layer by layer. hell yes.

maybe you voiced what i meant...." be at peace with myself" in that i might** always have certain feelings that feel real to me. i accept that because i now have the skills to handle it. mostly, unless i make a fool out of myself in a hosp again. LOL. ok, it is funny when i look back. not at the time!

this takes time, Roo. how long have you been working at it? how long in counseling? i see tremendous progress since you have been here. so insightful, so coherent.

it doesnt sound sick at all to not be totally ready. i think it comes as we become readier.

i think if you keep working the tools and skills, you will get better whether you want to or not. i think i have,. those damn sayings come up in my mind now...haha...and help me. almost unconciously sometimes.

((Roo))

Hi Jody. I have been in therapy for about 8 years total but didn't do anything except 'crisis management' for about 6-7 of those years. I'd say in about the past 2 years for sure I have done some major work. even when I did dBT, I was very sick. I was self harming all the time and stuff. now I'm not. I want to sometimes but the point is that I am not acting out.

I just feel bad because I get the concept of The Secret and stuff and it sounds so good. like if you want something in life, think like you have it........believe it. don't tell yourself all the negatives etc. but I still do all the negative self talk a lot.

did the negative self talk. candle was one who helped me a lot with it. i still think of her if i say something bad about myself!

try hard, every time you hear yourself saying it, to change it to the opposite. this will stick in your mind. it gets to the point that for every negative we say, our mind hears it and changes it to the positive. i kid you not.

i also think, because you want to cut but dont, this also will pass. its how mine did. i recognized i wanted to and explored the whys of it. usually frustration. it has gone way down now to where i really havent felt that way in months. i can work with the whys, etc and figure out i dont need it anymore.

The Secret leads us to believe it's easy to do these things, and it isn't, especially when you have BPD.

I'm wary of self help (as opposed to psychological texts) bc the language used is one of quick-fixes and immediate results. In my own experience that which takes time to learn tends to last. As Jody said, it will take time. I've been working at stopping the negative self-talk for years and it still haunts me at times.

Perhaps you could use the techniques discussed in The Secret to help with overcoming the negative self-talk? Well maybe not, and that's probably bc The Secret concentrates on achieving material acquisitions which has sweet FA to do with personal growth and happiness.

thanks sarah! u said it right. i' m not ready for letting go yet either.......well not some things. a milliom bucks would be cool but i dont really want that life! thats what i got from it......


roo

there is no immediate gratification.

we cant wish for a million bucks and it happens.

time, work and knowledge are the keys.

Yes Ive watched the movie of The Secret and been to the website and am on the email list. My T told me about it, so I checked it out. After watching the film of it, I did feel rather hopeful and inspired. I didn't believe in ALL that they were saying...but enough that I starting thinking that there just might be something to this business of positive thinking, envisioning what you want and believing you will have it, ect.

MY problem is that I HAVE NO CLUE about what it is I want. I don't know what to envision or wish for. I don't have anything specific that I want enough to have a belief that I will have it.

I was talking with T about this a few days ago, about how when I reach inside myself to pull out something I want...all I feel is an empty box. I feel like a hollow shell. T and I resolved that day that in itself is something I can say I want...to not feel empty, to feel like there are things in that box that I can pull out and wish for. In other words....I WANT TO WANT.

The power of positive thinking....imo what that really means is simply having the belief that things will get better and doing what you can, taking some kind of action(s) towards that. This is what life is. Life is not "get it all now and then live your happy life"....no, it's more work towards what you want and hopefully die happy.