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I couldn't fall asleep until 6 am. and got up at around 9. My married d and family are here, squished into 1 bedroom, and my other d is sleeping on the couch in the basement. The twins are ransacking my house, and things are getting torn and broken. We tried to baby-proof, but it's hard. They get into EVERYTHING. They are adorable, but I am not happy. I don't like my house like this, so much worse than the normal "clutter." I seem to have forgotten how it was with my own kids, but I didn't have twins, and my kids were far apart in age.

We borrowed a gate, but it doesn't work so well. The babies had no stairs in their other house, so I'm scared all the time that the gate is not up! It wore away the paint on our banister. They got ink on a beige chair, but it's one I don't like anyway. This is much worse than when we visit them.

They do not have a house in the city they are moving to, though they talk to their realtor every day.

The wedding plans are stressful. I've got to get the invitations done very soon. There's so much to do.

We had everyone here for a meal that took all day to prepare. My d and her h helped, but I was so exhausted afterward. I'm getting cramps up and down my leg.

Everyone tells me that I should be very happy to have my grandchildren, and I am! I'm also happy my d. is getting married. But I can't take it. I think about seeing my T but I don't want to spend the money. I know the advice she would give my anyway. I just want the comfort from her. I want a mother to help me.

I think I'm handling everything fairly well, but my h says all I do is complain about everything. He has not supported me, has not helped me when I asked. I had so many loads of dishes to wash, but he wasn't around, though I asked him. We don't put pots and pans in the dishwasher. I know I AM complaining a lot instead of being happy about all of these good things happening.

Maybe this is mostly a vent, but I welcome advice too.

dont know about advice as such, only how i feel when my kids are around. esp when my son would come on leave for a month./ my DIL always said you dont seem happy to have us.

i loved having them. it is just my entire life was disrupted. grown women in one house is not a good look. add in 2 little ones who like mine (!) can tear up a ball bearing, and it is so overwhelming. the kitchen, someone always eating, the bathroom, someone always taking a bath, the laundry! looking back, i felt out of control and anxious.

i ended up with most of my things in wal mart plastic tubs but the grand can still get into everything. usually telling herself no at the same time!

can you relax at all and envision cleaning when they leave? just "let it go" for now. believe me, even if you need a shovel, it will clean later.

with the babies, your gonna lose stuff. put up anything irreplaceable and expect the rest to go in the trash eventually. i take mine outside as much as i can to play. if not, the house is torn up and i end up getting her out of shit more than playing with her.

this will pass, ((wondering)) and you will look back and enjoy it. i do understand, tho. oh, boy, do i ever.

lack of our routines also cause anxiety and feeling loss of control.

can you take some time out for YOU? even to a night in the motel by yourself or with H?

hang in there, fellow granma. twins! i shiver! lol. wow. overwhelming. watch jon and kate plus 8 sometimes, it helps me feel not quite so overwhelmed. and i only have the one little one! the others are big!

It's definitely normal to stress over "good stuff." As Jody said, your normal routine is being disrupted with other folks visiting. It's difficult to have so many people in a small space. I know when I visit my inlaws, I go through a feeling of weirdness too. I know we disrupt their routine and our routine is disrupted too.

Hang in there.

My mom is the only one of her six siblings that still lives in the "home" town area, so the summer is the time she feels like she is running a hotel. She hates it. She would love to tell them not to come, but it doesn't seem fair, she loves them etc. But a break her routine is VERY hard for her. Even my uncle who doesn't stay with her, he stays in a hotel, but he comes for supper every day. He's used to eating later, drinking cocktails, (not a drunk, just one or two) and different kinds of food then my midwestern mom is used to cooking.

I guess I'm jsut saying you are not alone in these feelings. Hang in as best you can.

None of that sounds like "good stuff" to me!!

And even "good stuff" can be stressful. I read somewhere that weddings and funerals put the same amount of stress on families. Just because something is considered a positive event doesn't mean that there isn't WORK involved!

Thanks Jody, Nik, Kari, and Minx. Yes, I started to relax and not worry about the floor and the mess all over. I was concerned when I found the twins each with an A size battery in their mouths, though! We forget to take away the battery charger. I can't believe it. It's so scary! I was away for 5 days and my H was in charge of baby-proofing before they came. He got rid of the ant traps, and lots of stuff on low shelves. With our house being so cluttered, it is hard. They keep falling on our wood floors, but they get right up. So, I don't care about the mess anymore, just their safety! Now I see how difficult it is for my kids to watch them, I won't criticize anymore! At least that came out of this visit!

They are so cute when we turn on music. They love to dance, and they are really "into" it. They are going to the other in-laws for the holiday week-end and I will miss them!

Minx: The good stuff is that I have healthy kids and grandchildren, and that my other d. is getting married soon. That's a great deal for me to feel grateful for, and I do.

My son-in-law is making dinner tonight, but I'd better go. I'm hanging in there. We got the invitations to the printer, so I feel better about that.

wondering,

I'm really glad you realized that there aren't any Real damages being done, that possibly it isn't as bad as it seemed at first. Stressful, yes, but livable and the problems are solvable.

I think in these situations the preparation is important, to have realistic expectations of what we are in for (which we invited), so that we won't feel the need to complain and criticize when the inevitable happens.

Wondering

I hope you will find you some peace soon. Thought I might share a few of my lil episodes with you for a bit of companionship.

My experience with babies/ toddlers says if they can see it they will eat it / or at least try to.

I have wood or at least laminate floor throughout, so much easier to clean up spills that way. Yes they like to skid, slide, fall on it often. If you want damage protection get on the floor and see anything that is on their eye level you don't want them to have/ touch then pick it up.

I remember vividly the day my 7 month old daughter decided to eat mud , eww and worms, she survived and is ten now, but if I didn't worry she would have done herself some damage, after all wasn't I still sterilizing everything.

Then there was the time my two yr old daughter took flight down concrete stairs, and I rushed her to emergency, only to discover I was in a state and she was 100% fine..babies have a knack of falling very lightly, they don't seem to tense up with danger as adults will. They also don't have so far to fall.

I remember also my daughter putting my two week old son into the washing machine, apparently cos he stank, I was taking a bath and left him somewhere I considered safe. He survived that one also, fortunately she couldn't understand how to get him on a cycle!

My youngest baby took the most flack, had two very jealous siblings to contend with, she survived a lot.

Babies / infants can be so much robust than as adults it appear they should be, yes is wise to take precautions, but sounds like you are doing all you can! A few cuts, bumps and scrapes are part of learning their own limits.

Although, I do understand your concern, seems you are doing as well as you can.

A little thing I learned for keeping little ones amused, make a mess yourself, by tipping things they can play with onto the floor, on a blanket you can scoop eberything onto to put away, and then sit on their level and tell them / describe everything they are doing. ie...I see you are hitting that saucepan with a spoon, its making lots of noise...etc. They seem to get a real thrill out of it..it is contained some and yes is a mess, but at least you made it!

Just a lil thought about tidying also...how about making a game of it, take them with you perhaps...my kids used to love sitting on the worktop whilst I washed up and played with the bubbles some. I am not sure how old they actually are but if they are mobile with a little bit of encouragement they will do most things, even load some not so harmful things in the dishwasher.

Just some ideas.... my thoughts are with you, I had three under four once, and was only me to take care of them and everything else, it is very hard work. Perhaps you could leave them with mum and take a well earned walk to smell flowers and hey is that lady still in the mirror?

Do you have "stain devils" or similar over there? They seem to work a treat!