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Is extreme jealousy of others a common characteristic of borderline personality? I am jealous to some of my closest friends and keep a distance of intimacy because of it. I tend to make friends with those whom I feel superior to. Do others do this as well? What purpose does it serve?
Thanks for any insight....

It indicates a lack of ego strength and self-esteem. By being around people you judge to be inferior, you give yourself a shot of artificial self-esteem that is externally provided, as opposed to having internal self-esteem that is not affected by the perceived status of those around you.

When I think people have it "better" than me, I can worry that they don't need me, they won't want me, they'll leave me. Around people who aren't doing so well, i feel more comfortable because they don't have as much reason to "get rid" of me.

I'm also pretty insecure, and I'm uncomfortable with successful people. I feel I don't measure up. I don't like feeling that "I'm not good enough".

I was like this too. I couldn't even talk to someone who I looked up to.

I got past it by forcing myself to be around people I thought were successful (whether I felt good or not), and I found out they liked me ok, and that I actually felt better and more comfortable with them than I did the other people I was around.

It was just a feeling, and when I found out the feeling wasn't true, I stopped feeling it. The successful people I have met just want to share what they have with others, and it doesn't matter where I have been, because they seem to have had similar struggles at times. They accept me and want me to jump on the boat with them. But then again, this area is really something else as far as really excellent people go... I couldn't be more impressed with the people here.

I think if you give it a shot (and this is assuming you haven't), you might find the same thing... that you will be accepted into a lot more circles than you imagine.

It can be. I did the same thing for a long time.

I think when I stopped seeing people on a sliding scale, it really helped me. If I choose friends because I like them and I like who they are, as opposed to choosing friends who play games and try to compete, that takes me out of the equation. I find that I did this when I was playing games myself. I wanted to "win", but when I stopped playing the games, and stopped being with friends who played, I started to actually enjoy people, and feel a lot better about myself.

I failed to see "common characteristic". I think it can be a characteristic, whether it's common or not, I can't say.

But I can say that I think any jealousy I felt had to do with the fact that I wasn't right with myself. I didn't know who I was and what I believed in, and I fell for the games. Jealousy happened because I had an ingrained belief that I was supposed to be smarter/better-looking/have more materialistic goods/have a better job than the next guy. I don't. When I realized that, I became my own person, who did things that made me happy for me, not because I thought I should to win anybody else's game. And when I realized that, it opened worlds for me.