BPDRecovery.com: Forums

I can hardly believe it hasnt even been 2 wks since I really accepted I have BPD, made a decision to get help, and found this site bc so much has happened. I've made some very importent steps in the right direction. One of the first steps I took was to reach out for help. Then I set a small and reasonable goal for myself- do one recovery related thing each day even if it's something small like telling myself I'm worth it when I don't feel like I am at all. I review all the information on this site at least once a day and as the days go on I am finding I am able to remember those things more quickly even when I'm in a highly emotional state. Gradally I'm implementing these techniques in my daily life and the results are already amazing me. My relationship with my bf has been very different and there is much less tension. He said to me a few days ago that it's like I'm 2 different ppl sometimes and he has no idea how right he is sometimes. I know this might sound silly but I've been practicing more effective communication skills on my cockatiel, Gracie, and this stuff even works on her! When I change my responses and attitudes towards pole they also respond more positively. I am not saying its been easy. I feel sometimes like everyday s both a good and a bad day and it's always an uphill battle. When things are bad I hafta remind myself that it doesn't mean things will always be bad. When things are good I remind myself to not be too disappointed if something doesnt go quite right bc that's part of life. Finding a healthy balance with pretty much anything in life is hard for me. But I am getting better and that's what matters and it's all possible bc of radical acceptance and all the other wonderful techniques suggested on this site. I even deactivated my Facebook acct when I realized a lot of the anxiety I was feeling everyday was from trying to keep up and be 'friends' with so many people. I swear I there's hope for me there's hope for anyone.

Wow!! I'm so happy you're feeling so optimistic.....it's wonderful. I think you might even find it easier as time goes by.

dagwood

Great start!! I'm glad you're finding the resources here helpful, and also glad that you understand that there will be rough days ahead, no matter how well you do on any given day. Don't get discouraged if you have a setback -- just get back on the horse and keep moving forward.

If I could sum up the most important thing I've learned in the 10+ years I've been dealing with this, it's learn to RESPOND vs. REACT to potentially negative challenges. Our default mechanism is just like any animals: flee, freeze, or fight. For us I think it's most often the first and the last -- we either run away, or we fight, but in all honesty, we haven't even slowed down long enough to find out whether there is really a threat or if we're imagining something or over-reacting to something that is no harm at all. Personally, I think we can also get overwhelmed by something positive, in that we convince ourselves all too easily that this is the perfect partner/lover/spouse/job based on scant interaction, and then when reality bites and things aren't so perfect afterall, we plunge the opposite way and the world is black again.

So learn to STOP and THINK before you deal with something that triggers you especially, but really, before anything. Giving yourself a minute or so -- or as long as you need -- to really think before you talk or act, to try to assess whether there are multiple possible responses to the situation and decide which might be the best to try first, can save yourself a whole lot of heartache.

Hey first of all, I don't read too much positive posts here, so yours made me feel really positive, too. I hope you continue on your journey towards recovery, it may get worse and you may take a step or two backwards, but remember to always bounce back and go forwards again!

I want to thank you for writing that you do one small thing a day. I find the struggle overwhelming maybe because I am trying to do too much too soon. I'll take it easy and follow your method. Also another really practical thing you wrote is how reading materials on BPD and the forums help you in real life situation over time. I sometimes feel lazy to read because at times I try to and end up not finding anything new that is insightful. However now I'll keep in mind that when the reading is consistent, it will be fruitful eventually.

Good for you and I hope it continues to get easier and easier, day by day.

I'm glad you shared this with us. I needed to hear that it can get better INSIDE, and also with our relationships. Nice to know what you do each day in the steps for recovery. It's a good motivator for those of us who aren't there yet! Keep it up!!