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 Post subject: please help me learn how to RA
PostPosted: Fri Mar 13, 2009 2:54 pm 
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Ok, I'm trying the radical acceptance concept again. Here goes ...

I cut last night - pretty badly. I cut because I got too emotional and drank too much. I cut because the alcohol excaberated my emotions and they spiraled out of control and I didn't sit with the emotions. I lost perspective and the emotions felt too intense. I feel ashamed today that I cut and angry at myself because now I will just have more scars.

I think that is a realistic representation of what happened last night. Is that radical acceptance?

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 Post subject: Re: please help me learn how to RA
PostPosted: Sat Mar 28, 2009 8:32 am 
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RA can help get us out of the self harm cycle. By radically accepting that you had one bad night and made mistakes, it becomes easier to stop than if you get the guilty feelings over having cut which can lead to more self harm.

One bad night (or 50 bad nights) does not have to become another bad night.

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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars. - Garrison Keillor


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 Post subject: Re: please help me learn how to RA
PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 1:55 am 
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My interpretation is radically accepting that it happened but also thinking about what you want for your life and working on small steps to get what you want in your life.


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 Post subject: Re: please help me learn how to RA
PostPosted: Fri Apr 03, 2009 4:54 pm 
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Unfortunately, that's half my problem - how do I figure out what I want out of life?

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"I can lose my hard-earned freedom if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."


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 Post subject: Re: please help me learn how to RA
PostPosted: Wed Apr 08, 2009 2:23 am 
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Sometimes it can be really overwhelming to think "what do I want out of life"

For so long I couldnt contemplate the idea of getting through the day never mind getting through the next week or next month

For me what was helpful was making small goals, eg, For today I want to get through it without self harming,
Ok during this week I am going to work hard to have positive communications with people and so on.

I found by making small achievable goals, with time it eventually allowed me to start making longer term plans. I'm currently in my first year of registered nurse training to be perfectly honest, I still dont definitively know what I want out of life. I'd like to get back into working in community mental health and know that I dont want to work in a hospital at all, or an acute impaitent unit thats as far as I've gotten in figuring out what I want from life.


Start making some small achieveable goals for yourself. You know what your life is like better than we will, so you'll know what is something that could take some work, and that you can achieve. even if its going one day without self harming, its important to reward yourself when you achieve your goal, that might be a cup of coffee, or chocolate


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 Post subject: Re: please help me learn how to RA
PostPosted: Sun Apr 19, 2009 10:20 am 
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Try this. Here is a post I have written in this topic. Maybe it might help.

http://board.bpdrecovery.com/bpdrecovery.com/board/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11076

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 Post subject: Re: please help me learn how to RA
PostPosted: Tue Sep 08, 2009 5:27 pm 
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I'm also trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. The prospect of sorting out so many problem areas can be so daunting at times...

But, I do the whole "if I could wave a magic wand, how would my life be"...

And I discovered last night that the goals are as simple as singing and sewing.... careers are such a construct anyway... I think that it's really difficult to find something that you want to do every day anyway...

But, if you're talking about trying to find a way to get through the day, perhaps try to remember a time that you were really enjoying yourself, trust that you know yourself, and try that again... might be as simple as watching Buffy ;)

I know you don't know me, so I hope I'm not over stepping the line, offering some advice.

Hope you feel better soon :)

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"’Tis not too late to seek a newer world. Push off, and sitting well in order smite The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths Of all the western stars until I die... Tho’ much is taken, much abides; and tho’ We are not now that strength which in old days Moved earth and heaven; that which we are, we are; One equal temper of heroic hearts, Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield." Tennyson - Ulysses


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