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 Post subject: Anger
PostPosted: Wed Nov 18, 2009 11:33 pm 
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I was angry today. I guess I’ve always been scarred of my temper because it would get away from me and I could be scary. But today, when I was just getting sick and tired of dealing with an issue I finally just let myself get mad about it. That’s when I wrote the “A shift in prospective” post under Season Passes. I was concerned that I would lose it and get mad like I have in the past. But no, it was ok. I got mad wrote an e-mail (not an angry one - I was impeccable with my words) and then it went away. Weird, I don’t remember that happening before. I’m still not happy about the situation, but I’m not really mad about it.


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 Post subject: Re: Anger
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 11:47 am 
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Great step Anchorage!

I find that just by allowing myself to really FEEL the emotion......it dissipates or lessens in intensity.

I would suggest though that next time you may want to just write the e-mail and not send it until you are done being angry. Even if you were impeccable with your word, an angry e-mail is an angry e-mail. I find that my emotions about the subject are significantly different when I'm angry vs. not angry. Just a thought.

Remember, there are almost 'grieving' stages to a break-up. It's good to feel. :D

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"Pain is resistance to change."
--Ida Rolf

BRING IT ON!! -- personal mantra


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 Post subject: Re: Anger
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 12:35 pm 
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Thanks Harmonium

Good advice.

Anchorage wrote:
Remember, there are almost 'grieving' stages to a break-up.


Not sure I understand this part.


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 Post subject: Re: Anger
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:24 pm 
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The grief process consists of 5 stages:
1. Denial: "this is not happening to me" "I can fix this" "it's not over"
2. Anger: "why me" "it's not fair"
3. Bargaining: "I know we've broken up, but if you just give me one more chance it will be different"
4. Depression: "what's the point" "I don't want to go on"
5. Acceptance: "I can't change it" "I can move on"

Grief stages are usually associated with the loss of someone (death), but for me they can apply to loosing a relationship. Sometimes it's not even the person I have grieved over, but what I wanted the relationship to be or what I thought it was. When I'm in the grieving process, for any reason, it's good for me to remember to self-care. Wash my hair, get dressed every day, clean my house, get good sleep, eat healthily, etc. By continuing my self-care I am able to get through it faster and easier (your body needs the sleep and nutrition especially!)

I'm trying to let you know that all of these emotions are normal. It's okay-- even necessary-- to allow yourself to feel them without judgement. It's good for me to also remember that all of my feelings are temporary!

Does that make more sense?

_________________
Temet Nosce-- The Oracle
"Pain is resistance to change."
--Ida Rolf

BRING IT ON!! -- personal mantra


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 Post subject: Re: Anger
PostPosted: Thu Nov 19, 2009 1:26 pm 
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Yes,

Thank You.


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