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 Post subject: Accepting of my disorder.
PostPosted: Wed Jul 21, 2010 12:43 pm 
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Well I have been struggling with BPD for a very long time. And little by little I have been making progress in my recovery. I was fighting with my boyfriend and he had mentioned my BPD. He is a good guy, but we as humans look for others problems to justify the problems in our relationship. He said to me, I think you're having a hard time because of your disorder.

And it hit me!~ For the first time ever****I don't give a flying f** what ANYONE things of me having BPD. I could care less! I know that for the life that I have had most people would be addicts, prostitutes or dead. I have a great job, my own house, etc..And not to make excuses because I know I am responsible for what I do, but IT's NOT MY FAULT that I have this disorder, it's really really really not.

I'm excited because I have never felt this way before and it is liberating. So for everyone with BPD I would like to say, IT"S NOT YOUR FAULT! And no one has the right to judge you, if they went through what you went through they would be the same way!


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 Post subject: Re: Accepting of my disorder.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:13 pm 
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You're totally right-- it is NOT your fault you have this disorder. But in reading your post, I'm reminded of something that might (or might not) help you:
Quote:
We are not responsible for how we came to be who we are as adults.
But as adults we are responsible for whom we have become and for everything we say and do.


We may not be responsible for having this in the first place, but as adults we ARE most certainly responsible for how we handle ourselves. Having BPD is not an excuse. I don't think that's what you were getting at in your post, but I thought it was worth mentioning.

Congrats on the RA! I always love it when these things just 'click'. :biggrin

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Temet Nosce-- The Oracle
"Pain is resistance to change."
--Ida Rolf

BRING IT ON!! -- personal mantra


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 Post subject: Re: Accepting of my disorder.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 12:50 am 
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Dear Harmonium
Sorry what's an RA?


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 Post subject: Re: Accepting of my disorder.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 03, 2010 10:08 pm 
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RA stand for Radical Acceptance. It's the forum you posted your thread in and kinda the impression I got on what your thread was about-- you radically accepting having BPD. I might have misunderstood-- if you think so, could you please clarify for me?

There is a sticky at the top of this forum that can help to explain it better. You can also google the term 'radical acceptance' and find a lot of info about it. It's one of the main tools we use around here to deal with things.

_________________
Temet Nosce-- The Oracle
"Pain is resistance to change."
--Ida Rolf

BRING IT ON!! -- personal mantra


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 Post subject: Re: Accepting of my disorder.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 1:56 am 
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Dear Harmonium
Thanks for explaining. RA - Radical Acceptance. Something that I really need right now.


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 Post subject: Re: Accepting of my disorder.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 04, 2010 2:41 pm 
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That saying is absolutely correct...It's not an excuse, but I feel if I have BPD that was caused by something was not my fault and I am in counseling and doing anything and everything possible by the grace of God to recover from this disorder in a genuine way that if I can't completely help myself but to slip and act BPD and someone wants to judge me for it f them...Not to say that I'm not responsible...It's just like I feel like I don't have to answer to anyone for the way that I act...(if I do something wrong to them then of course I should apologize) but I always felt like I had to explain myself and it's liberating to finally have an epiphany that I DON'T HAVE TO EXPLAIN MYSELF TO THEM! I am who I am I'm trying to recover, but right now this is the best me I can be!!!!!!!

I can't believe I finally realized that...years and years of hard work and it clicked!!


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 Post subject: Re: Accepting of my disorder.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 2:55 am 
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erink26,
I SO SO SO agree with you! I thank God that I am finally arriving at the point where I can be GENTLE to myself, and FORGIVING myself when I don't "measure up". There are mornings when I have to struggle a bit to get out of bed, and that caused me to arrive at work only a few minutes before 8am (my working hours start at 8), and I have arrived at a point where I tell myself, "It's okay girl, it's okay. You don't have to bite yourself for that".
You said "right now, I am the best that I can be". AMEN!

cheers!


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 Post subject: Re: Accepting of my disorder.
PostPosted: Thu Aug 05, 2010 7:56 am 
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That's actually really funny. Don't beat yourself up..I work at 8AM as well and I never get in before 10 after lol.


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