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 Post subject: Too Nice?
PostPosted: Sat Aug 28, 2010 11:19 am 
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Joined: Thu Oct 08, 2009 5:04 pm
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I’ve been working really hard for a long time at my recovery, and my life is so much better. I found a place to be happy, just seeing things for what they are and accepting myself for who I am. It’s like I’ve built a default attitude to see the brighter side of everything, which feel right for me.

But: at times I feel like as I’m working at being at peace with myself and the world that I’ve lost my edge: That little bad boy charming attitude that pushes people out of their comfort zone and creates a fun tension. BTW – girls either love it or want to kill me, lol. Since these actions due not always result in attaining the best response from people they can create confrontational situations. Maybe it’s my fear of working outside my peaceful zone (and dealing with confrontation) that is keeping me from expanding my recovery. Since not being true to my fun “rebel” side isn’t living life to its fullest.

Ok – I think I’ve answered my own question. Not sure why, but trying to ask questions at this site help me clarify what it is I want to know.

Thanks for reading.


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 Post subject: Re: Too Nice?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:34 am 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
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Anchorage wrote:
Ok – I think I’ve answered my own question. Not sure why, but trying to ask questions at this site help me clarify what it is I want to know.



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 Post subject: Re: Too Nice?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 1:35 am 
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Sorry for posting double. haha, yeah writing here does help :)

Celebrating with you.

I have a question though, how did you work hard at your recovery? Can you explain more? I just started, and I find this journey a little tough and longggg...


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 Post subject: Re: Too Nice?
PostPosted: Mon Aug 30, 2010 4:24 pm 
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First let me say, I think everyone needs to find what works for them, with that said I’ll share what has helped me.

My biggest problem was not that good and bad things would happened to me, or the way people treated me, it was the way I was letting my mind respond to these events.

What’s worked: To retrain my mind to work as my friend and not my enemy. For me, the first step was to learn to be companionate with myself (treat myself as I would a good friend), then work the tools on this site until they become second nature. When something bothers me, I work the five steps, consider which if any of the four agreements come into play, and then ask myself if I am twisting my thinking. I found the best lessons where the ones I could see for myself. But it has been a great help to come to this site and post my concerns, to allowing people here – to help me understand that the events in my life I was viewing as negative - where not the issue. But the way I was internalizing these events (taking them personal, etc) was the issue.

When my mind shifts into a way of thinking that is not good for me, (which happens or happened a lot) I’m companionate with myself (not being too hard on me as I understand this is just a learning process and I am not perfect) and I make an adjustment. When it happens again, I learn and move on, them it happens again, I learn more and move on. Time and time and time and time again. For me it’s a long term learning process (where some days it's feels like I'm moving backwards) where I keep working to teach my mind to work in a manner that is good for me.

I’m not saying this is THE way, but it’s the process that is yielding positive results for me. Best of luck,


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 Post subject: Re: Too Nice?
PostPosted: Thu Sep 02, 2010 8:29 pm 
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Joined: Wed Jul 28, 2010 3:01 am
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thanks.


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