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 Post subject: Myths About Emotions
PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:42 pm 
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thought maybe I'd do a little bit of my DBT homework here, didn't know what section to put it in though

Myth: There is a right way to feel in every situation.

Myth: Letting others know that I am feeling badly is a weakness.

Myth: Negative or unpleasant emotions are bad and destructive.

Myth: Being emotional means being out of control.

Myth: Emotions can just happen for no reason.

Myth: Some emotions are really stupid.

Myth: All painful emotions are a result of a bad attitude.

Myth: If others don't approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn't feel the way I do.

Myth: Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.

Myth: Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.

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This road is paved with good intentions because intent is irrelevant. Not all who burn are witches.
Sometimes the best way to get out is to keep going through.
Be wild: accept it as it is, for its a bewilderness out there!


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 Post subject: Re: Myths About Emotions
PostPosted: Sun Nov 14, 2010 10:46 pm 
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...and here it is... ...semi-completed.


Myth: There is a right way to feel in every situation.
Challenge:There may be a conventional way to feel in many situations, but it is okay to feel differently if I act responsibly.

Myth: Letting others know that I am feeling badly is a weakness.
Challenge: Letting others know how I feel helps inform them of how I wish to be treated and gives them the opportunity to support me when I'm feeling badly.

Myth: Negative or unpleasant emotions are bad and destructive.
Challenge:Its not the emotion that is destructive, rather, it is what I choose to do with the feeling that can lead to negative consequences. Emotions are there because they are serving a purpose, giving me information.

Myth: Being emotional means being out of control.
Challenge:Not necessarily. Again, it is what I do with the emotion that matters.

Myth: Emotions can just happen for no reason.
Challenge: My emotions have a cause, even if I'm not always aware of it.

Myth: Some emotions are really stupid.
Challenge:I may not like the fact that I feel a certain way, but I don't have to judge my emotions. Instead, I choose to accept them.

Myth: All painful emotions are a result of a bad attitude.
Challenge:

Myth: If others don't approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn't feel the way I do.
Challenge: Emotions are. I don't need to buy into other people's judgment of my feelings.

Myth: Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.
Challenge: While others may be able to pick up on non-verbal outward signs of my emotions better than I can, I am the only one directly experiencing how I am feeling.

Myth: Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.
Challenge:

_________________
Where are we going, and why am I in this hand basket?
This road is paved with good intentions because intent is irrelevant. Not all who burn are witches.
Sometimes the best way to get out is to keep going through.
Be wild: accept it as it is, for its a bewilderness out there!


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 Post subject: Re: Myths About Emotions
PostPosted: Mon Nov 15, 2010 8:21 pm 
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This is great stuff bewilderness. What I get from the sum total of all of these statements and challenges is that emotions are ok, and feeling them is ok. But what you do with them (ie: Actions) is what gives lasting resolution to those feelings.

This reminds me of the Thoughts>Feelings>Actions triangle. How we think and how we behave effects our feelings, so thinking negative things about our feelings will produce negative feelings, and acting positively (eg: by being communicative) about our feelings can lead to positive feelings (A CBT premise).

I think you put it in the right forum, although it may well have fit into the twisted thinking one as well, as it's quite counter-twisted IMO.

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 Post subject: Re: Myths About Emotions
PostPosted: Thu Nov 18, 2010 1:54 pm 
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Bewilderness wrote:
...and here it is... ...semi-completed.


Myth: There is a right way to feel in every situation.
Challenge:There may be a conventional way to feel in many situations, but it is okay to feel differently if I act responsibly.

Myth: Letting others know that I am feeling badly is a weakness.
Challenge: Letting others know how I feel helps inform them of how I wish to be treated and gives them the opportunity to support me when I'm feeling badly.

Myth: Negative or unpleasant emotions are bad and destructive.
Challenge:Its not the emotion that is destructive, rather, it is what I choose to do with the feeling that can lead to negative consequences. Emotions are there because they are serving a purpose, giving me information.

Myth: Being emotional means being out of control.
Challenge:Not necessarily. Again, it is what I do with the emotion that matters.

Myth: Emotions can just happen for no reason.
Challenge: My emotions have a cause, even if I'm not always aware of it.

Myth: Some emotions are really stupid.
Challenge:I may not like the fact that I feel a certain way, but I don't have to judge my emotions. Instead, I choose to accept them.

Myth: All painful emotions are a result of a bad attitude.
Challenge:

Myth: If others don't approve of my feelings, I obviously shouldn't feel the way I do.
Challenge: Emotions are. I don't need to buy into other people's judgment of my feelings.

Myth: Other people are the best judge of how I am feeling.
Challenge: While others may be able to pick up on non-verbal outward signs of my emotions better than I can, I am the only one directly experiencing how I am feeling.

Myth: Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.
Challenge:


Great post in my opinion.

I would say the challange to Myth - "All painful emotions are result of bad attitude" is:
this can be one point of view, another can be that painful emotions are the result of the healthy reaction of a human being to his or her nature
for example - if you are in the attitude of having a world of peace and love around you, and at the same time, in order to protect your people you find that your only way of discharging the enemy of their weapon of threat on your people is to shoot them in masses and you do so
and you feel horrible
maybe you also do not turn your eyes away from the damage you have done and see the bodies of families mutilated, knowing terorrists hid there because they believed your army is human and would never turn against other human beings - even if your people are living in terror for years
then your painful emotions do not stem from your bad attitude, but rather, in fact, out of your good attitude - your hatered towards the nature of the world that brings such conflict within it
you can reduce bad feelings through acceptance
but you won't get to solve the conflict
so you have yet reached the root of the problem

sometimes you just have to live with bad feelings - that cannot be changed - maybe - and accept them
so - you may feel bad about bad things, and those bad feelings teach you that you are human


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 Post subject: Re: Myths About Emotions
PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 7:02 am 
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Great stuff! :thumbsup

Here are my thoughts on the couple you left out...

Myth: Painful emotions are not really important and should be ignored.
Challenge: Painful emotions can be a warning flag, a reminder to take action on something. Even if they are not, we suffer less when we pay attention to our feelings and self-soothe.

Myth: All painful emotions are a result of a bad attitude.
Challenge: Painful emotions can be a natural and healthy response to a distressing situation.

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"All the world is full of suffering. It is also full of overcoming." - Helen Keller


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 Post subject: Re: Myths About Emotions
PostPosted: Sun Nov 21, 2010 9:19 pm 
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This is all good. I'm going to c+p it into something I can give to my son, who is really struggling with some difficult emotions right now.

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I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle I found it too confining. -- Jane Wagner


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