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 Post subject: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 10:48 am 
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It's something that I have a huge problem with. For a few days now my chest has been tight and I just can't deal with any type of stress. I've been job hunting all summer, my boyfriend is being investigated by a detective for something he didn't do and it's putting the both of us on edge, I live in a place that gives me no privacy or peace etc. I try to find things to do that will calm me down but it's just not working. I also try to be thankful for what I have but eventually I just don't care anymore. The anger is getting exhausting and I just don't know how to let go of it and to accept the situations I am in right now. I've started saying horrible things to my boyfriend again, I make myself feel horrible and I just sit and stew about things constantly anymore. I was getting past it for awhile but the amount of stress I feel is just making it impossible to keep on track. I am so disappointed in myself for going backwards in my recovery and the shame just fuels the anger. I end up hating myself for letting myself slip and in turn I hate everyone else for whatever reason. How do you all deal with intense, overwhelming feelings of anger that last for a long time?


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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 12:12 am 
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hey sunshine

i can identify with the intense, overwhelming feelings.

Have you tried journalling? Writing away and expressing all that you are feeling? It might be helpful.

You could also try to distract yourself with activities where your energy could be channelled more positively. For example, going to the gym, kickboxing, etc.


hope this helps.


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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 1:15 pm 
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meremortal wrote:
hey sunshine

i can identify with the intense, overwhelming feelings.

Have you tried journalling? Writing away and expressing all that you are feeling? It might be helpful.

You could also try to distract yourself with activities where your energy could be channelled more positively. For example, going to the gym, kickboxing, etc.


hope this helps.


Thanks for the advice =) I've actually considered joining a gym lately so thats a good idea. Sometimes no matter how much I journal or talk out my frustrations there are some days were I am stubborn as hell and cannot let it go because I am so used to it. Physical activity might be great for those particular days when nothing else seems to help.


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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Wed Aug 17, 2011 11:16 pm 
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yeah physical activity releases energy :) lots of energy :)


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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Mon Dec 12, 2011 11:44 am 
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I agree with many of the other opinions. We all get angry, one way or another. Taking this out on your boyfriend will not help anything. In fact, if he hasn't walked away from you it may not be long until he does. He should be there for support, not an object of anger. Like the others said, finding an activity or something to keep you busy will greatly help you control your anger. Have you thought about exercise? That could be one outlet. Regardless of what it is, make sure you are enjoying it and not just doing it as a way to release your anger. Try that, I think it will greatly help your anger. Good luck!


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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Mon Mar 05, 2012 2:58 pm 
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Hi sunshine,

remembering that the world is not actually out to get you is in theory a great way of helping yourself more than anything else. I have had so many days where I was so angry that I went round and round in cirles in my head and was ready to murder someone by the end of it but usually only ended up hurting myself in the end, it seemed that no matter how hard I tried I couldn't help but feel like someone was determined to destroy my life if not the whole world. I recently had massive outburst of anger for reasons of one thing after another going wrong and I shamefully will admit I selfharmed, broke a cup by flinging it at the wall, ripped up photos and broke the glass on a picture.....all in all I proper lost it....of course like you I felt I had every right to justify my anger at the time but it wasn't worth the damaging effects it had. Speaking for myself it's only when I realise how awfull it is trying to pick up the pieces after such a crisis that I will be in hopeless enough place to try and think of better way to manage it next time.


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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 8:48 am 
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The anger thing is so typical for BPD. I have come to realize that it will pass if I don't give it too much credence. It's OK to be angry and even healthy if there is a good reason for it. Having BPD is reason enough sometimes and I just have to accept my anger as part of my BPD and don't let it get the best of me. I take a walk, try not to turn it against myself for I have a SI history and usually, given time, it will subside and sometimes I can even laugh at how angry I was for little or no reason. Do let yourself experience it but don't savor it.
I'm so pissed.....Mike.......just kidding for now!

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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 2:14 pm 
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MickBur has a good point. Finding an activity to subside the anger is a great way to not let BPD get the best of you. For example, he goes on walks that can help him stay calm and avoid letting it get out of control. Is that correct, MickBur? That's just my interpretation of it but nonetheless, it's best to have an activity as an outlet to a safe place.


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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Thu Mar 08, 2012 3:20 pm 
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Yes, Walking helps me to expend energy, think and sometimes remove myself from the situation that is triggering the anger. It amazes me how much rage and anger BPD people can have. Way over the top sometimes for the situation. For the longest time I took my rage out on myself both verbally and with SI. I am slowly learning to accept myself, my rage and deal with it in a non self abusive way. It always passes if I just let it.
Mike

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 Post subject: Re: Letting go of anger.
PostPosted: Sun Mar 11, 2012 10:53 am 
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I bought an actual punching bag. It was expensive (by my standards), but I haven't taken my anger out on anything else, so it's worth it to me.


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