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 Post subject: misrepresenting who we are
PostPosted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 9:04 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2012 7:21 am
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Hi,
I am new to this forum. In the midst of my illness I never really developed a since of self. So, trying to be socially acceptable, I would change who I was depending on who I was with, my opinions, my outlook etc. But actually I never really possessed an original opinion to give. So was I misrepresenting myself if I did not know who I was? I still have identity issues and have to be careful to speak my truth and not get caught up in role playing or people pleasing. Does anyone else have these issues?
Thanks


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 Post subject: Re: misrepresenting who we are
PostPosted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 12:46 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
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Location: sarasota
Hi Micbur!

Welcome to you....glad you're here.

I can relate to what you're saying....I think I was always afraid to express my opinions as I felt MY opinions were really not worth much to begin with. Now, ha,ha, it's hard to stop me from expressing them.

Have you been in therapy or on meds yet? Guess I never realized how dismissive I'd always been of my own ideas and feelings until I got some help.
I know my father didn't exactly welcome much of what I had to say, so I think I learned to just keep quiet or else arouse anger in him....something he was very prone to expressing.

Hope you will stay with us awhile.

dagwood


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 Post subject: Re: misrepresenting who we are
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 6:33 am 
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Joined: Fri Feb 17, 2012 7:21 am
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I am glad that I now know why I was so different. Thinking in full blown BPD is radical and negative. I did not realize where my black and white thinking came from, my impulsiveness, my assumptions about what others were thinking and such. I like the tools this site has to help me 1st know why I think like I do and 2nd do something about it. I just turned 60 and my BPD has settled down a lot with age but my youth was so destructive and out of control. Drinking, promiscuity, destroying my property and self harm. I am taking Prozac for depression and panic along with inderal for panic. I don't think I ever had a true friend and I know now that having BPD really effected my development and life choices.
Mike

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Coming out of the darkness!


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 Post subject: Re: misrepresenting who we are
PostPosted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 12:10 pm 
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Joined: Mon Jul 04, 2011 6:12 pm
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Location: sarasota
MickBur,

I recently turned 64, and I also feel much less BPDish. I used to feel like so much of my life was wasted, but I decided a good while ago that the best is yet to be, at least I hope so. I now understand what makes me tick, ha,ha....and that I'm a good and nice person.

I never really had a genuine friend either....not until I went to a hospice group after my father died, and I met another woman whose father had died. I think it's difficult for anybody to find people they really can relate to, and I've learned over the years to be very discriminating about the people I want in my life.

dagwood


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