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 Post subject: It hurts
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:36 pm 
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I have a drinking problem. There, I said it.
As a result of my drinking, I have: hurt the people I love, embarrassed myself, hurt myself, made myself sick, made others angry, isolated myself, lost things, lost memories, lost relationships and lost self-esteem.
I know what must be done. It is sad to think about never drinking again - like losing a friend - but in the end I will be a happier, better person. I will learn to love myself and earn the respect and love of others. By giving up this one weakness, I will gain immeasurable strength. This is my commitment to myself. I will do my best to honor this commitment and be a good friend to myself. After all, I am the first person who has to like me...


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PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 3:52 pm 
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Bravo! :clap

I know how tough it can be to own up to a list like that. I'm proud of you for taking that first step, even though it's scary.

Couple of quick thoughts for consideration (if they work for you)...

Losing a friend that hurts you, hurts those you love, kills your self-esteem, trashes memories, kicks relationships to the curb ... is that really a friend?

I know how it feels. I'm asking you to think, when you're ready, about it. The alcohol has been there every step of the way and the thought of not having that there beside you to face the world & its challenges can make you feel desolate. Maybe rather than a friend or seeing it as a weakness, see it as a crutch. It helped you (to a certain extent) during tough times but in order to further your rehabilitation and move into the realm of people who walk, skip, run and jump, you need to set the crutches down and practice walking without them in order to be self-sufficient.

I'm not condoning alcoholism or anything but looking at a crutch, it's a necessary thing at a certain time. For you, the booze was necessary because you didn't know of any other way to cope so you reached for the bottle. Now that you're learning new ways to cope, the booze isn't necessary; there are other ways to move forward, to gain strength, to be courageous, etc.

I worry about you looking at it as a friend because I think you might be prone to having fond memories for it.

I worry about you looking at it as a weakness because I think you might be prone to self-pity for having a fault or flaw which could trigger a downward spiral leading back to booze.

I'm not saying you WILL. I'm sharing concerns I have based on my own experience in coming out of addiction. I am so encouraged by your post that I don't want to 'ignore' some of the things that can trip people up; I'd rather raise the concerns now, early in the process, before a thought pattern is firmly entrenched. I want you to succeed and I have faith that you can & will!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:07 pm 
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Nam

Congratulations on taking this step!

I know first hand how difficult it is to accept that drinking has become an issue.

What support do you have in place NAM?

All the best NAM!

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:08 pm 
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Thanks Ash. I am kind of scared... I think that is why I said it was like losing a friend. And by calling it a weakness, I am convincing myself that it is something that will only hold me back. But I will take your advice, as someone who has been there before, and try to see this (quitting) as a step forward rather than a loss of a part of me or punishment for the pain my drinking has caused myself and others.


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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Feb 25, 2008 4:11 pm 
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Next week I will celebrate 5 years of recovery from my addiction. So I get 100% the feeling that the thing you're addicted to is like your friend, always there to take care of you when you need it. Leaving it behind is frightening like walking off the edge of a cliff without a parachute.

I hope you will reach out for help as you walk away from alcohol. It can be so helpful to talk with people who get it, who have walked away from it too and know what the road is like, and can guide you along the way.

Good luck!

Peace,
jim

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Feb 26, 2008 1:45 am 
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NAM, congratulations for seeing things honestly and taking steps toward recovery! I wish you well on your journey! :thumbsup

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 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Mar 04, 2008 7:40 pm 
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Congratulations on taking this step! I understand the lure of drinking. I understand how it is the friend that is always there. But just remember, IT is a FALSE friend, it's not real, it's like being happy because you are in an imaginary world, at the expense of the real one.

Giving up this "old friend" is painful but in the end so healthy and opens the door to a kind of happiness and peace alchohol can never provide.


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