Home  •  FAQ  •   Forums

It is currently Thu Mar 28, 2024 5:12 am

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Siblings Don't Get It
PostPosted: Sat Jun 28, 2008 7:51 am 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Jun 14, 2008 5:51 am
Posts: 18
I accept that I have depression, GAD, and BPD. I am working out the right combo of meds and working hard in therapy. My husband and children accept this... of course they live with me and see it up close. But I am just finishing a family reunion with my six siblings, their spouses and kids and our parents. 33 total people at the beach for a week.

I have received a lot of criticism from my siblings for being open about the meds, the anxiety, ect. They tell me I am the strongest person that they know and to quit being so wimpy, needy and that I am just making things hard for myself. But if I were to admit to being an alcoholic they would support me in my recovery. Now they are telling me I am over medicated and not myself at all. But if they usually knew me drunk and then spent time with me sober would I not be different too.

Frustrating defending my decision to change my life by getting help and accepting that I do not really know who is the real me yet. I may be medicated but at least I did not spend every night drunk like the rest of them.

Just venting.... thanks for listening.

_________________
Kit

_____________

“The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves happy. The amount of work is the same.” ~Carlos Castaneda


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Siblings Don't Get It
PostPosted: Fri Jul 04, 2008 2:45 pm 
Senior Community Leader
Senior Community Leader
User avatar

Joined: Thu Dec 01, 2005 6:00 pm
Posts: 1059
Hi Trying -

I know you were just venting and not necessarily looking for replies, but I just wanted to let you know that what you said resonated with me --

I have never felt that my two siblings really get it. For instance, their experience of our mother, and to a lesser extent, our father, was entirely different from mine. They still don't believe or understand why my mother and I always had a troubled relationship. I never heard from them during or after I spent two different months in the hospital for depression, and they really feel that I should be "over it" all by now.

Now, though, my brother's daughter is having some pretty serious mental health problems. We had a pretty long phone conversation recently where I explained some things to him, and he was much more receptive than he ever had been before. I'm sorry his daughter is so troubled, but I'm glad he's now more open to talking about it.

Anyway, it does take some radical acceptance. No one can really understand what someone else is going through, but of course we'd like if our siblings at least gave us the benefit of the doubt.

Stay strong!

_________________
I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it.
I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle I found it too confining. -- Jane Wagner


Top
 Profile  
 
 Post subject: Re: Siblings Don't Get It
PostPosted: Sun Jul 06, 2008 8:32 am 
New Member
New Member
User avatar

Joined: Sat Feb 09, 2008 6:00 pm
Posts: 195
Location: east coast, usa
I vividly recall the time my sister sat me down to 'talk' and explain to me how "everyone has anxiety, jr" about 25 years ago. With a weird (but typical for her) mixed measure of compassion, resentment, authoritativeness, and briskness (she had a plane to catch) she 'explained' to me just how mistaken I was to acknowledge I might have an extraordinary problem... - "you just have to deal with it - like the rest of us."

Staggering. Hurtful. Invalidating. Undermining. Doubt-inducing.
Did I say 'hurtful'? with maybe a touch of betrayal thrown in...


Me accepting that I did have an extraordinary anxiety and panic issue, despite what my successful and brilliant sister believed, was difficult. Hand in hand with that was me accepting that my successful and brilliant sister didn't know jack about anxiety DISorder or how debilitating and insufferable "dealing with it" was/is/could be. That was tough.

I'm not sure what brought her around to appreciating that mebe I knew about me more than she did, probably a combination of things, including my adamancy in 'dealing with it' in a way that included professional help. Over years her previous apparent condescension melted somewhat and I sensed a degree of humility and even admiration.


You know what? Radically accepting things in myself is not easy. But it seems even harder to accept that people I love or think I count on are not necessarily all 'that'. Kinda liberating after I get used to it, but really really hard.


~ jr

_________________
Do one thing every day that scares you.


Top
 Profile  
 
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 3 posts ] 

All times are UTC - 7 hours [ DST ]


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 10 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Jump to:  
cron
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group