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 Post subject: self talk
PostPosted: Wed Jan 02, 2013 4:55 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:58 pm
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Location: washington state
Seems no matter how hard I work on myself and my recovery that I will always have a feeling of never belonging anywhere. Any advice on how to rid myself of this negative self talk?


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 Post subject: Re: self talk
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 4:14 pm 
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thanks so much for the input...pfft...yet another self absorbed BPD board that offers no help to the new comers..........the ammount of posts that go unanswered is astonishing...what a shame.


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 Post subject: Re: self talk
PostPosted: Fri Jan 04, 2013 10:30 pm 
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The forums have been a bit inactive lately, and I'm sorry, but I don't always know the answers.

In this case, I struggle with the same thing. One thing that has helped me somewhat was recommended by a therapist of mine. Take a piece of paper, and write a list of good things about yourself. Aim for five at the minimum, even if you have to write something simple like "I have a nice smile." or "I brush my teeth every day." You can also try writing a list of good things you have done in the past week. :) It helps me stay more positive.

Another practice comes from my studies in Buddhism. A useful slogan is "When you find yourself stuck, do the opposite." So, if you are having trouble feeling like you don't belong, let the thought dissolve, and then think to yourself "I do belong. My friends and family care about me, and would be sad if I were gone."

One more thing is to practice something called tonglen. When you're covered in this sort of fog, inhale slowly, thinking of all the other people in the world who feel left out or misplaced. Then exhale slowly, breathing out feelings of happiness and belonging. It should help you to identify that you are not alone. Keep inhaling and exhaling, keeping each breath even with the other, and you should start to feel a bit better.

This can be used for other negative circumstances as well. Breathe in the negative feelings, and then breathe out whatever emotions would relieve the negative feelings.

Mask


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 Post subject: Re: self talk
PostPosted: Sun Jan 06, 2013 7:30 am 
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Pixiejules,

I'm sorry you weren't hearing from people. I think as Mask said the holidays have something to do with it.

Are you in any kind of therapy or on meds now? IMO, the recovery process is a life-long one that requires patience and fortitude to stay on the road. I began my journey about 35 years ago....and I'm still learning new things about myself and how to better to cope with things life throws at me.

Hey, I know exactly how it is to feel as though you don't belong anywhere....IMO, it's part of the bpd, but it is possible to lessen that feeling.

dagwood


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 Post subject: Re: self talk
PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 1:27 pm 
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Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:58 pm
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Thanks for the reply....I appreciate it. No health care and having to do this on my own which isn't easy as you can imagine, so thank you for the help :)


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 Post subject: Re: self talk
PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:56 am 
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How are you doing today?

dagwood


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