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 Post subject: Untwisting anxiety thoughts about my test again
PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:24 pm 
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Joined: Fri Mar 06, 2009 10:19 am
Posts: 274
Okay, it is my last weekend to study. My test is exactly one week from today. This morning I've been procrastinating instead of getting to the library to study. I'm procrastinating because I feel intense anxiety when I think about the test or even studying. I'm also feeling overwhelmed becasue it is the last weekend and at this point I don't know what I should study, if I should keep taking the practice tests, reread the chapters, do the practice sets, etc. I'm now at the library but have yet to study.

Skills I need to remember: stay in the moment. And, I can handle a little anxiety, knowing it will pass.

This test DOES NOT define me. It is just a test. I have put forth effort in studying. Although, I feel that my studying time just isn't good enough, that's probably a wacked perception because I typically feel like what I'm doing isn't good enough. The evidence suggests I have done my best and put forth effort in studying. I have read the chapters, done practice tests, done practice sets. I haven't gone out (except for Halloween) and instead I go to work and then try to study after work (and sometimes at work when I can get away with it safely)

Okay, let's try another skill to calm down. Right now, I am sitting on a chair, typing on a library computer. I feel my feet on the ground, I feel myself take a deep breath. The only control I have is over this moment.

This is somewhat unrelated but sometimes babbling just helps: I had an insight after talking to my parents the other night. My parents suggested that if the GRE was causing me this much anxiety, then maybe I shouldn't take it and give up on my grad school dream. I am always going to have intense emotions. That's the reality. But, am I going to let those emotions keep me from accomplishing the things I want to accomplish in my life? No, I'm not. All it means is that I have to work a little bit harder than the average person because first I have to use the skills to deal with my intense emotions, and then deal with whatever the situation is (like taking the GRE and studying for it) I am stubborn and in this situation, my stubborness is beneficial because I am not going to let the borderline issues get in my way of being the best me that I can be or accomplishing my goals.

Yes, I have anxiety. But am I going to let that anxiety get in the way of my dream? Realistically, it is a possibility that the anxiety might get in the way but I'll be damned if I don't at least try to the best of my ability.

I accept this test is important to me. I also accept it is not the end of the world if I don't do well on the test. I also accept I really don't like the thought of not doing well on the test. I am going to let that feeling float through my mind, accept I feel it, and then let it go. The only thing I have control over is this moment. So, right now I am going to go open my book, pick a chapter and reread it. Right. Now.

As always, thanks for listening.

"I can lose my hard-earned freedom if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."

 Post subject: Re: Untwisting anxiety thoughts about my test again
PostPosted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 2:22 pm 
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Joined: Tue Oct 20, 2009 8:03 am
Posts: 88
You've got this, Pip! You CAN do it!!! :thumbsup Focus, do some breathing exercises, and just do it!!!
Good luck on the test! And DO NOT give up on your dream of grad school!!!

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