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 Post subject: my car, not freaking out and untwisting
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 8:58 pm 
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I am not going to freak out. It has been a trying day.
The facts:
my car got a flat tire. I didn't realize it was that flat. I tried to drive it to the gas station to put air in it and make it to work. I had to have the car towed from the gas station on the way to work because the tire became obviously flat. Towing company towed it to the first tire place. The first tire place gave me a quote of 177. Coworkers said that was outrageous so I called around and Big O Tire store said they could do it for 100. So, Big O goes and gets my car from the first tire store and takes it for the day. I get a call from the Big O tire place saying that after seeing my car it would be 160, not 100. In the meantime the first tire place calls back and says they can do it for 99 but Big O has already came and got my car so I just say forget it and go with Big O. I picked up the car tonight. I have a new tire. The service engine soon light is now on, I have no tail lights, and my dashboard isn't lit up like it is supposed to be. None of those things were wrong before getting my car towed and "fixed" for the flat tire. I called big O to tell them what was going on. I didn't scream but I did cry and say that I am very upset and that they need to fix it. THey said they will take a look at it, but they don't think it is something they did because all they did was change the tire and that would have nothing to do with the lights.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and really emotional right now. I spent a lot of money and my car is still messed up. I don't know if it is a coincidence, if the towing company messed it up somehow or if one of the tire places did. Or, if I did somehow. I am worried that no one will take responsibility for it and I'm going to have to pay more money to get the car back in working order. And this is where the dysfunctional feelings are starting to creep in because I am trying to save money for grad school and I'm afraid that I'm now going to have to pay out all of this money for my car. With towing and the flat it cost me $240 today and my savings account is now really really low. I'm feeling like I'm not going to be able to replenish my savings in time to actually go to graduate school, have the money to move to where grad school is, and have money to get an apartment there. I am also feeling super frustrated because of the whole situation. This has been an incredibly frustrating and trying day, but it is not the end of the world and I'm catastrophizing majorly right now. I am trying to use skills right now to calm down and to take a step back. I need to remember to breate. This is not the end of the world. Nor is it the end to my grad school dream. It may realistically be a financial set back but that is just life sometimes, as annoying as that may be.

I'm also upset because my t and I decided I need to go back to the doctor to get meds adjusted. I have been fighting depression and it isn't getting better so it is time to talk to the doctor again. My plan was to call doc today for an appointment ($100) I'm frustrated because I now can't afford to go to the doctor to talk about the depression/med situation because I just spent all this money on my car. I am feeling very angry about the situation. Part of that is probably not accurate. I am already on a payment plan with the medical provider so although I'm annoyed that I have to spend another $100, I could probably go for the med check and then slowly pay off the balance again.

Radical acceptance: cars break, savings get depleted because of it. acceptance: I need to get meds checked because all of my depression warning signs are escalating. I need to accept that it is a financial obligation that must happen in order for me to mentally be okay. I can handle this situation. It would be nice if I could handle this situation without being an emotional waterpot, but regardless, even if I cry my way through it, I will get through it and it will (hopefully) work out in the end.

I still have to figure out how to get my car back to Big O's so they can look at it tomorrow before work. Then, Ineed to figure out how to get to work. Then, after seeing what Big O's says I need to reassess and decide if I contact the towing company about this situation, or if I just go somewhere else, pay the money and get the car working. But, what I really need to remember right now is to take one step at a time. I will be okay. This is not the end of the world. I am allowed to be frustrated because let's face it, it is frustrating. I can be frustrated without emotionally freaking out.

Thanks for listening.

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 Post subject: Re: my car, not freaking out and untwisting
PostPosted: Thu Jan 14, 2010 10:46 pm 
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Yep, definitely need to get a med check. I pretty much really overreacted to the car situation and I find that I have not been able to handle things quite as well as is typical for me.

Turned out just to be a fuse, which Big O fixed for free. But, the fact that I got so emotional and struggled with the intensity of the emotions as much as I did really illustrates to me that I need to not put off going to see the pychiatrist. So, I'm calling him tomorrow and I'll just have to chip away at the bill ... again. lol.

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"I can lose my hard-earned freedom if my fear defines my world. I declare my independence from the critics and the stones. I declare my revolution, I can learn to stand alone."


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 Post subject: Re: my car, not freaking out and untwisting
PostPosted: Sat Jan 16, 2010 2:07 pm 
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Just wanted to let you know we're listening. ;)

Also, while that kind of thing is a major frustrating experience for anyone........recognizing and coming down from the overreaction is a really good thing. It IS sometimes difficult, especially in realistically frustrating situations, to 'loose it' or overreact. Everyone does it at some times, even the 'normals'.

So all in all I think you have done well handling your emotions (even if only after the fact, so be it). You could just consider it a learning experience and move on-- this situation can help you remember your tendencies next time something frustrating happens. Which it will-- frustration happens, lol!

All my best wishes, Pip!

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 Post subject: Re: my car, not freaking out and untwisting
PostPosted: Mon Jan 18, 2010 7:43 pm 
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Thanks Harmonium!!

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 Post subject: Re: my car, not freaking out and untwisting
PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:35 am 
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Glad to hear the fuse got fixed for free. :)

It's difficult for me too, trying to put myself in the best possible position financially to start the PhD in Sept, especially as I don't yet know how much funding I'll get. The thing is that sometimes unexpected expenses do crop up that we can't help... and sometimes we'll make mistakes with money... we're only human. ;) It helps me to remember how determined I am and that I will find a way to make this PhD work, even if I have to do it part time or start a little later than planned etc. That'd be frustrating but not the end of the world - as you said!

Keep up the good work. :thumbsup

Lirael

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 Post subject: Re: my car, not freaking out and untwisting
PostPosted: Sat Jan 30, 2010 9:40 pm 
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Thank you Lireal for the words of encouragement

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