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 Post subject: Twisted thinking out of control
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:16 am 
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I had a horrible night last night. My husband started talking to me about something positive, and I took it to the negative, to the extreme. We ended up in a huge fight that ended with us saying the relationship was over. I really love my husband and I don't want it to end, but I can't seem to get a grip on my behavior. I know I was already stressed because I have a big interview today, and even while I was blowing up, part of me knew that it was because I was already stressed, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. How do I find the tools to untwist when I am in the midst of a rage? I am really scared now that the relationship is really over....I have to find a way to undo the twist before it gets so out of control.


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 Post subject: Re: Twisted thinking out of control
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 7:27 am 
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One possibility is to walk away for a while. Just say "I'm too angry to be rational, let's hold off on this conversation" or something like that, and then, go elsewhere. It's okay to save the conversation until you are able to calm down and untwist.

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 Post subject: Re: Twisted thinking out of control
PostPosted: Tue Jun 15, 2010 6:07 pm 
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Taking that time out Ellen Suggested REALLY helped me.. Make sure to talk to your H BEFORE a fight happens though. I had one friend who thought I was just ignoring a situation we needed to work out, because he could be rational in the moment. I knew I couldn't and walked away. After, he understood that I needed to get my thoughts straight, and allowed me that time the next fight and it worked out well.

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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars. - Garrison Keillor


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 Post subject: Re: Twisted thinking out of control
PostPosted: Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:25 pm 
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I can understand my husbands insistance on leaving when I get hostile. What I cannot understand is that he will not discuss issues in our marriage about respect even when I am calm. I think it's a copout to call on the mental illness card out of convenience, but I see it more and more lately. My love is strong, and I know he wants to stay married, but my marriage feels shallow an increasing larger amount of the time. Since he has issues of his own it's hard to separate these issues sometimes. It is significant that I am under a huge amount of stress, but I barely have an outlet. Where does this end? I sat in my pdocs office and complained about it the other day and felt better, but the bottom line is when I offered to invest in marriage counseling last week he ignored me. Feeling isolated.


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